I was working for Jim Rohn, the speaker, and I was 17 years old. I had long hair, minestrone soup acne on my face and I was trying to call on Bear Stearns type of people and convince them why they should go to this man’s seminar and be more successful. I was driving a 1968 Volkswagen that I had earned at $40 a week as a janitor.
The only way I did it was park far from the building and then go in and I love people and I believe when I put myself in state and I was able to influence people that were far more successful than I was at the time. I had a dear, dear friend and mentor named Jim Rohn who was my teacher when I was 17 years old.
” The secret to life was to work harder on myself than my job or anything else because then I’d have something to give people” – Tony Robbins
He’s somebody that I sent out some videos. I’ll probably attach some things to this video or another one about him just to honor him and his teachings. But he gave me a way of looking at life that allowed me to not ask life would be easier, but to ask that I be better.
He got me to realize that the secret to life was to work harder on myself than my job or anything else because then I’d have something to give people. And he really shaped me and he just passed away and I was thinking wow, I’m going to be 49 years old. I met him when I was 17.
Think of the fact that my journey is just beginning and think of all the impact that just a couple ideas had on my life and want to really continue to to do that for you or anybody you care about, so.
What made his early career was when he challenged a psychiatrist saying that he could cure someone’s snake phobia in a matter of minutes.
Interviewer: So, there’s a famous story about something I’ve forgotten now, but it was somebody had some kind of phobia, what was it?
“Gradually I grew ’cause I was really just trying to prove to everybody and myself as well that I was worthy rather than maturing a little bit and just knowing there are skill sets that are valuable for everybody.” – Tony Robbins
Snake phobia, yeah, yeah.
Interviewer: Snake phobia. And the psychiatrist said it’d take seven years and you did it in 15 minutes.
Yeah. But what made my career was that I was attacked by the psychiatrist on the radio saying you’re a liar, your a charlatan. People like you should not be allowed on the radio. You can’t do this and so, I was a real rebel frankly, and I was, like, in his face saying, great, are you a scientist?
If you are then test your hypothesis. Give me your patient. I’ll be at the Holiday Inn tomorrow night. So, it was like this shootout and it was like a movie. He brought her, I wiped it out, I wrapped the snake around her. A phobia is an uncontrollable physical response to some stimulus, you know, it’s not just fear. It’s shaking, spitting.
Interviewer: Right, right.
At the end she was totally fine. He worked on her for seven years. So, that became my signature, was to challenge. And then gradually I grew ’cause I was really just trying to prove to everybody and myself as well that I was worthy rather than maturing a little bit and just knowing there are skill sets that are valuable for everybody.
In the 1980s he used television infomercials to promote his books and programs.
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Hi, I’m Tony Robbins. I’m the author of the national bestselling book Unlimited Power. For over ten years now, I’ve helped over a million people that take control of their life, mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. And so many people I meet have pain in the area of credit.
If you’re one of the 40 million Americans who really needs a Visa card, we have a solution that’s guaranteed. I’ve created the easiest, most affordable way to guarantee you a Visa card immediately. Our program will also show you how to take control of your own financial freedom.
Announcer: For your $2.99 per minute call you’ll receive information about how to get your very own Visa card with no deposit required. You’ll hear Tony Robbins seven secrets to financial success plus receive Tony’s powerful audio tape. Tony Robbin’s program offers you the easiest, most affordable way to receive your Visa card. With 14.9% interest, no deposit required and guaranteed acceptance or your money back. Call this number now to take advantage of this exciting new offer.
He did a cameo roll as himself in the film Shallow Hal starring Jack Black.
Man: Hey, it’s you. You’re the TV guru guy.
Yes, Tony Robbins, please to meet you.
Well, it was interesting the Farley brothers are friends and fans and they’re brilliant, funny, crazy guys. And they invited me to participate in the movie and I didn’t turn them down, I just said no because it just wasn’t for me.
And when they brought me the script I was moved by it because the message is about inner-beauty and not being a surface-driven person, which is part of what my life’s about. Hypothetical situation, which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain?
Man: Ew, toughie.
And then I found out that the story was written by a man who’d bought my personal power audio program off of television, off an infomercial years ago. So, I said, yeah, I want to do this. And I wasn’t originally in the script.
They were using this, like, seance guy to do this. You’ve got a pattern of looking at women and judging them by the exterior. You know, they wrote the script and none of it was really me and I said, you know, I’ve memorized this and I’m very respectful, you put me in the middle of this movie as a central character, but this is not what I’d say. So, I’ll do what you want, but can I just show you what I really do? And they go, Tony, it’s a movie. I said just let me try.
Can you think of one specific time when you were really shallow?
Oh yeah, I got one.
Think about that, ready?
I got a good one.
Devils come out.
Man: What the hell are you doing, banana hands?
So, that heeled scene when I smack him on the head, he had no idea that was coming. They had no idea it was coming. In fact, they laughed so hard when it happened that his reactions are not fake reactions, they’re actual reactions.
They were real reactions ’cause he didn’t know it was coming. And then they shot the thing 15 angles ’cause everybody was laughing so hard cameras were shaking and everything else. But that’s my approach. My approach is jar people into reality quickly, not talk about things.
It was a great privilege to be part of the film and I have no desire to be an actor, but I’m grateful that I was part of that great little story.
U.S. President Bill Clinton called him before he was impeached.
I get a phone call where a child is suicidal or the President of the United States calls and says they’re going to impeach me in the morning. What should I do?
Interviewer: So that actually happened?
That actually happened.
Interviewer: Bill Clinton called you the night before in 1998 and said Tony, they may be impeaching me in the morning, what should I do. What an extraordinary position of responsibility that you have.
Well, I’m sure I’m not the only person he called.
Interviewer: You’re one of the people he called.
By any stretch and yes.
Interviewer: Just step back for a moment. That moment, how did you feel? Despite all these incredible things you’ve experienced, to have the President of your country call you in his great hour of need.
If you’re thinking about yourself in a moment like that you can’t really serve. So, then it’d be all about you. What I felt was a sense of responsibility and I also felt I need to sell him straight of what I really believed. And I knew he was going to get different opinions and I don’t really talk about what I do with someone unless they speak about it, but I did speak at that point and said, frankly, you know, you’re not going to be impeached in the morning, easy for me to say, I’m not in your position. It’s just politically it’s not going to happen.
But what you have to decide is what’s your legacy going to be. What’s your outcome? Because you have to decide what you’re going to be able to say that people at home can tell their children about. You have to look at what you can do legally. But if I were you I’d be doing what you know is right and nothing less than that process. ‘Cause you want to be able to look yourself in the face.
The best advice he ever got was also from Jim Rohn.
Interviewer: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?
God, that’s so much, but I think one of the most important ones was early in my life one of my mentors named Jim Rohn said, “Tony, all you have to focus on your life is find a way to add more value than anybody else does and you’ll never have to worry about anything. Be the person that does more for others and life will just be anything you want out of it,” really is what it is, so. And he also said the way to do that is every day work harder on yourself than anything else. ‘Cause if you become more intelligent, more valuable, more skilled you can add more value to other people.
He wants to feed over one billion people over Thanksgiving.
Interviewer: You were growing up, you were really poor, right?
Interviewer: Extremely poor.
We had no money for Thanksgiving for food. It’s part of why last year I started feeding when I was 17. I started feeding families since I was fed when I was 11. And I fed two families, literally, and it was so moving, I said I’m going to double it, I went to four and then to eight and then it was, like, a game to see could I reach more people.
And then I started with some of employees and then eventually got to a million people a year, then two million and then I started matching my foundation with two million. So, for 12 years I fed four million people a year. And then when I was writing this book I’m interviewing, if you can imagine, all these people started with nothing and are multi-billionaires.
At the same time, congress cut food stamps, called SNAP now, but it was food stamps originally, by eight billion dollars. So, it’s the equivalent, to give ya an idea, of every family that’s being supported giving up all their meals one week out of every month for 12 months.
So, I decided I wanted to do something about it, so I got a five million dollar advance for the book. I gave all the money to Feeding America and then I said if I want to feed 100 million people what do I got to do, so I wrote a much bigger check and now I’m so, we did 102 million people last year, but now I’m going to do 100 million again this year and I got a plan to feed a billion people over the next ten years, so. It’s so full circle from where I began. It’s crazy and it’s an incredible privilege to be able to make a difference like that.
He uses Cryotherapy to help his body recover from being on stage all day.
I’m like an athlete, you got to train your nervous system. Besides physically working out, I also train my mind to do and my emotions to do what’s most difficult and I do that in all kinds of ways. I like to play at my edge. You know, that’s how you get better.
So, I put high demands on myself. But the first thing I do every morning as part of that ritual is I jump in a jacuzzi which loosens the muscles and then I jump in freezing cold water. I have a cold plunge, if you would. It’s 57 degrees and I drop into that thing.
I also for recover sake, I use Cryotherapy, which was developed in Europe. It’s amazing. A lot of athletes around the world are using it now. And it lowers your body temperature using nitrogens. So, there’s no water on you or you would freeze to death or you would burn.
By using these gases it brings the temperature down in your body down to minus 225 fahrenheit, which is my, well, for three minutes. And what it does is it like resets your whole nervous system and it takes all the inflammation out of your body.
So, I’m on stage and I’ll do 27 miles on my most intense day of a three day program, so I’m doing, like, multiple days of Ultramarathon. ‘Cause I’m not standing there talking. I mean, people would not come, people won’t sit for a three hour movie someone spend 300 million dollars on to make for two hours.
If they’re going to stay with me for 50 hours over a weekend, I got to deliver, right? And I got the Paul Tudor Jones of the world in there, the Oprah Winfeys. Oprah tells me Tony I love ya, but I can’t sit anywhere for more than two hours and at the end of 12 hours she’s standing in her chair going on camera “this is one of the greatest experiences of my life”.
Well, to do that, you aren’t standing still. I’m plunging the audience, I’m doing things. I’m spontaneous, so that’s a lot of miles.
So, I’m literally doing one marathon and I go into this machine and three minutes later I come out and the next day it’s like instead of all these aches and pains and tears I’m recovered, so. I’m always looking for technology that can enhance my ability to perform and produce greater results and also stay healthy.
He has one of the three most popular TED Talk videos of all time for his talk “Why We Do What We Do”.
Thank you. I have to tell you I’m both challenged and excited. My excitement is I get a chance to give something back. My challenge is the shortest seminar I usually do is 50 hours. I’m not exaggerating, I do weekends and what I do, I do even more than that obviously, coach people, but into emersion because how’d you learn language?
“Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive activated is the most important thing in the world. I’m here because I believe emotion is the force of life. All of us here have great minds.” – Tony Robbins
You didn’t learn it by just learning principals. You got in it and you did it so often that it became real. And the bottom line of why I’m here, besides being crazy mo-fo is that I’m really in a position, I’m not here to motivate you obviously, you don’t need that.
A lot of times that’s what people think I do and it’s the furthest thing from it. What happens though is people say to me “well, I don’t need any motivation” and I say well, that’s interesting, that’s not what I do. I’m the why guy. I want to know why you do what you do.
What is your motive for action?
What is it that drives you in your life today, not ten years ago, are you running the same pattern?
Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive activated is the most important thing in the world. I’m here because I believe emotion is the force of life. All of us here have great minds.
You know, most of us here have great minds. Right? I don’t know if I’m in that category, but we all know how to think and with our minds we can rationalize anything, we can make anything happen. We can, I agree with what was described a few days ago about this idea that people work in their self-interest, but we all know that that’s bullshit at times.
You don’t work in your self-interest all the time. Because when emotion comes into it the wiring changes in the way it functions. And so it’s wonderful for us to think intellectually about how the life of the world is and especially those who are very smart. We can play this game in our head, but I really want to know what’s driving you and what I’d like to maybe invite you to do by the end of this talk is explore where you are today, for two reasons.
One, so that you can contribute more and two, so that hopefully we can not just understand other people more, but maybe appreciate them more and create the kinds of connections that can stop some of the challenges that we face in our society today. They’re only going to get magnified by the very technology that’s connecting us. ‘Cause it’s making us intersect and that intersection doesn’t always create the view of everybody now understands everybody and everybody appreciates everybody.
So, I’ve had an obsession basically for 30 years. And that obsession has been what makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives? What makes a difference in their performance ’cause that’s what I got hired to do. I got to produce a result now. That’s what I’ve done for 30 years.
I get the phone call when the athlete is burning down on national television and they were ahead by five strokes and now they can’t get back on the course. And I got to do something right now to get the result or nothing matters.
I get the phone call when the child is going to commit suicide and I got to do something right now. And in 29 years, I’m very grateful to tell ya, I’ve never lost one in 29 years. That doesn’t mean I won’t some day, but I haven’t done it. And the reason is an understanding of these human needs that I want to talk to you about. So, when I get those calls about performance that’s one thing, like how to you make a change?
But also I’m looking to see what is it that’s shaping that person’s ability to contribute, to do something beyond themselves. So, maybe the real question is, you know, I look at life and say there’s two master lessons. One is there’s the science of achievement, which almost everyone in this room is mastered to in an amazing stent. That’s how do you take the invisible and make it visible, right? How do you take what you’re dreaming about and make it happen?
“If you don’t have the money, but you’re creative and determined enough you find the way. So, this is the ultimate resource” – Tony Robbins
Whether it be your business, your contribution to society, money, whatever it is for you. Your body, your family. But the other lesson of life that is rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment. ‘Cause science is easy, right? We know the rules, you write the code, you follow the, and you get the result.
Once you know the game, you just, you know, you up the ante, don’t you? But when it comes to fulfillment, that’s an art. And the reason is it’s about appreciation and it’s about contribution. You can only fill so much by yourself. So, I’ve had an interesting laboratory to try to answer the question of the real question which is what’s the difference in somebody’s life if you look at somebody like those people that you’ve given everything to. Like, all the resources they say they need.
You gave them not a hundred dollar computer, you gave them the best computer. You gave them love, you gave them joy. You were there to comfort them. And those people very often, and you know some of them I’m sure and that the rest of their life with all this love, education, money and background spending their life going in and out of rehab. And then you meet people that have been through ultimate pain.
Psychologically, sexually, spiritually, emotionally abused and not always, but often they become some of the people that contribute the most to society. So, the question we got to ask ourselves really is what is it, what is it that shapes us? And we live in a therapy culture. Most of us don’t do that, but the culture’s a therapy culture.
And what I mean by that is the mindset that we are our past. And everybody in this room, you wouldn’t be in this room if you bought that theory, but the most of society thinks biography is destiny. The past equals the future. And of course it does if you live there, but what people in this room know and what we have to remind ourselves though, ’cause you can know something intellectually. You can know what to do and then not use it, not apply it.
So, really what we got to remind ourselves is decision is the ultimate power. That’s what it really is. Now, when you ask people, you know, have you failed to achieve something. How many have every failed to achieve something significant in your life, say I.Thanks for the interaction on a high level there.
But if you ask people why didn’t you achieve something, somebody who’s working for you, you know, or a partner or even yourself.
When you fail to achieve a goal what’s the reason people say they fail to achieve?
What do they tell ya?
Don’t have the, didn’t know enough. Didn’t have the knowledge, didn’t have the money.
Didn’t have the time. Didn’t have the technology. You know, I didn’t have the right manager. Didn’t have the Supreme Court.
And what do all those, including the Supreme Court have in common? They are a claim to you missing resources and they may be accurate.
You may not have the money. You may not have the Supreme Court, but that is not the defining factor. And you correct me if I’m wrong, the defining factor is never resources, it’s resourcefulness and what I mean specifically, rather than just some phrase, is if you have emotion, human emotion, something that I experience from you day before yesterday that is at a level that is as profound as I’ve ever experienced, then if you’d communicated with that emotion I believe you would have beat his ass and won. But how easy for me to tell him what he should do. Idiot Robbins.
But I know when we watched the debates, when we watched the debate at that time, there were emotions that blocked people’s ability to get this man’s intellect and capacity and the way it came across to some people in that day. ‘Cause I know people that wanted to vote in your direction and didn’t and I was upset.
But there was emotion that was there. How many know what I’m talking about here? Say I. So, emotion is it and if we get the right emotion we can get ourselves to do anything. We can get through it. If you’re creative enough, playful enough, fun enough can you get through to anybody, yes or no?
If you don’t have the money, but you’re creative and determined enough you find the way. So, this is the ultimate resource, but this is not the story that people tell us, right? The story people tell us is a bunch of different stories.
They tell us we don’t have the resources, but ultimately, if you take a look here, flip it up if you would, they say what are all the reasons they have in common, we’ve said that, next one please. He’s broken my pattern, that son of a bitch. But I appreciated the energy, I’ll tell ya that. What determines your resources? We’ve said decisions shape destiny, which is my focus here. If decisions shape destiny, what determines it is three decisions.
What are you going to focus on? Right now, you have to decide what you’re going to focus on. In this second, consciously or unconsciously. The minute you decide to focus on something you got to give it a meaning. And whatever that meaning is produces emotion. Is this the end or the beginning? Is God punishing me or rewarding me or is this the role of the dice? And emotion then creates what we’re going to do, or the action.
So, think about your own life, the decisions that have shaped your destiny. And that sounds really heavy, but in the last five or 10 years, 15 years, how about some decisions have you made, that if you made a different decision your life would be completely different? How many can think of one, honestly. Better or worse, say I.
So, the bottom line is maybe it was where to go to work and you met the love of your life there. Maybe it was a career decision. I know the Google geniuses I saw here, I mean, I understand that their decision was to sell their technology at first.
What if they made that decision versus to build their own culture? How would the world be different?
How would their lives be different, their impact?
The history of our world is these decisions.
When a woman stands up and says “no I won’t go to the back of the bus” she didn’t just affect her life. That decision shaped our culture. Or someone standing in front of a tank. Or being in a position like Lance Armstrong and someone says to you, you got testicular cancer. That’s pretty tough for any male, especially if you ride a bike. You got it in your brain, you got it in your lungs, but what was his decision on what to focus on? Different than most people, what did it mean?
It wasn’t the end, it was the beginning. What am I going to do? He goes off and wins seven championships he never once won before the cancer because he got emotional fitness, psychological strength. That’s the difference in human beings that I’ve seen of the three million that I’ve been around.
‘Cause that’s about my lab, I’ve had three million people from 80 different countries that I’ve had the chance to interact with over the last 29 years. And after awhile, patterns become obvious. You see that South America and Africa may be connected in a certain way, right? Other people say “oh, that sounds ridiculous”, it’s simple. So what shapes Lance, what shapes you two invisible forces, very quickly. One, state.
We all have had times, have you had a time that you did something and after you did it you thought to yourself I can’t believe I said that, I can’t believe I did that. That was so stupid, who’s been there? Say I. Have you ever done something and after you do it you go That was me. Right, it wasn’t your ability, it was your state. Your model of the world is what shapes you long term. Your model of the world is the filter.
That’s what’s shaping us. That’s what makes people make decisions. We want to influence somebody, we got to know what already influences them. And it’s made of of three parts, I believe. First, what’s your target, what are ya after? Which I believe, it’s not your desires. You can get your desires to goals. How many ever got a goal into desire and though is this all there is, how many have been there? Say I. So, it’s needs we have.
I believe there’s six human needs. Second, once you know what the target that’s driving you is and that you uncover it for the truth. You don’t form it, you uncover it. Then you find out what’s your map. What’s the belief systems that are telling ya how to get those needs. Some people think the ways to get those needs is to destroy the world, some people it’s to build something, create something, love someone. And then there’s the fuel you pick.
So, very quickly, six needs, let me tell ya what they are. First one, certainty. Now these are not goals or desires, these are universal. Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain and at least be comfortable. Now, how do you get it? Control everybody, develop a skill, give up, smoke a cigarette? If you got total certainty ironically, even though we all need that, like, if you’re not certain about your health or your children or money, you don’t think about much.
If you’re not sure the ceilings going to hold up, you’re not going to listen to any speaker. But while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty, we get what? What do you feel if you’re certain? You know, what’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen, how it’s going to happen, what would you feel?
Bored out of your mind, so God in her infinite wisdom gave us a second human need which is uncertainty. We need variety, we need surprise. How many of you here love surprises? Say I. Bull shit, you like the surprises you want.
The ones you don’t want you call problems, but you need them, so variety is important. Have you ever rented a video or a film that you’ve already seen, who’s done this? Get a life. Alright, while your doing it, you’re certain it’s good because you’ve read it before, saw it before, but you’re hoping it’s been long enough you’ve forgotten it, that’s variety. Third human need, critical, significance. We all need to feel important, special, unique. You can get it by making more money. You can do it by being more spiritual.
You can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put more tattoos and earrings in places humans don’t want to know. Whatever it takes, the fastest way to do this if you have no background, no culture, and no believe in resources or resourcefulness is violence. If I put a gun to your head and I live in the hood, instantly I’m significant, zero to ten, how high? Ten. How certain am I that you’re going to respond to me? Ten. How much uncertainty, who knows what’s going to happen next, kind of exciting.
Like, climbing up into a cave and doing that stuff all the way down there, total variety and uncertainty and it’s significant, isn’t it? So you’re willing to risk your life for it. So, that’s why violence has always been around and will be around unless we a conscientious change as a species. Now, you can get significance a million ways, but to be significant you got to be unique and different. Here’s what we really need, connection and love, fourth need.
We all want it, most people settle for connection ’cause love’s to scary, don’t want to get hurt. Who here has ever been hurt in an intimate relationship? Say I. If you don’t raise your hand you lie about other shit too, come on. And you’re going to get hurt again. Aren’t you glad you came to this positive visit? But here’s what’s true, we need it. We can do it through intimacy, through friendship, through prayer, through walking in nature.
If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don’t get a cat, get a dog ’cause if you leave for two minutes it’s like you’ve been gone for six months when you show back up again five minutes later, right? Now, these first four needs, every human finds a way to meet.
Even if ya lie to yourself, even if ya have split personalities. But the last two needs, the first four needs are called the needs of the personality, it’s what I call it. The last two are the needs of the spirit. And this is where fulfillment comes. You won’t get fulfillment from the first four.
You’ll figure a way, smoke, drink, do whatever, meet the first four, but the last two, number five, you must grow. We all know the answer here, if you don’t grow you what? If a relationship is not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many friends you have, how many people love you, you feel like hell.
And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something to give of value. ‘Cause the sixth needs is to contribute beyond ourselves. ‘Cause we all know, corny as it sounds, the secret to living is giving. We all know life’s not about me, it’s about we.
This culture knows that, this room knows that and it’s exciting. When you see Nicholas us here talking about his hundred dollar computer, the most passionate, exciting thing is here’s a genius, but he’s got a calling now. You can feel the difference in him and it’s beautiful. And that calling can touch other people. In my own life, my life was touched because when I was 11 years old, Thanksgiving, no money, no food and we’re not going to starve, but my father was totally messed up.
My mom was letting him know how bad he messed up and somebody came to the door and delivered food. My father made three decisions. I know what they were, briefly. His focus was this is charity. What does it mean, I’m worthless, What do I got to do, leave my family, which he did. The time, one of the most painful experiences of life. My three decisions gave me a different path. I said focus on there’s food, what a concept. Second, but this is what changed my life, this is what shaped me as a human being, somebody’s gift, I don’t even know who it is.
I thought, my father always said no one give a and all of a sudden somebody I don’t know, they’re not asking for it, just giving our family food, looking out for us. It made me believe this, what does it mean? That strangers care. And what that made me decide is that if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them.
What am I going to do? I’m going to do something to make a difference. So, when I was 17 I went out one day on Thanksgiving, it was my target for years, have enough money, feed two families. It was the most fun thing I ever did in my life, most moving, then next year I did four.
I didn’t tell anybody what I was doing. Next year eight, I wasn’t doing it for brownie points, but after eight I thought, I could use dome help. So sure enough, I went out and what did I do? I got my friends involved and then I grew companies and then I got 11 companies and I built a foundation and now 18 years later I’m proud to tell ya that last year we fed two million people in 35 countries through our foundation, all during the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, in all the different countries around the world.
It’s been fantastic. Thank you. So, I don’t tell ya that to brag. I tell ya because I’m proud of human beings because they get excited to contribute once they’ve had the change to experience it, not talk about it. So, finally, and I’m about out of time, the target that shapes you, here’s what’s different about people. We have the same needs, but are you a certainty freak, is that what you value most? Or uncertainty? This man here couldn’t be a certainty freak if he climbed through those caves. Are you driven by significance or love?
We all need all six, but whatever your lead system is tilts you in a different direction. And as you move in a direction, you have a destination or destiny. The second piece is the map. Think of that as the operating system that tells ya how to get there and some people’s map is I’m going to save lives even if I die for other people and there are firemen. Somebody else says I’m going to kill people to do it. They’re trying to meet the same needs of significance.
Right, they want to honor God or honor their family, but they have a different map. And there are seven different beliefs, I can’t go through them because I’m done. The last piece is emotion. I say one of the parts of the map is like time. Some people’s idea of a long time is a hundred years. Somebody else says it’s three seconds, which is what I have. And the last one I’ve already mentioned that felt you. If you’ve got a target, you got a map. And let’s say, I can’t use Google ’cause I love macs and they haven’t made it good for macs yet.
So, if you use Mapquest, how many have made this fatal mistake of using Mapquest at sometime? You use this thing and you don’t get there. Well, imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you want to go. And last thing is emotion. Now, here’s what I’ll tell you about emotion. There are 6,000 emotions that we all have words for in the English language, which is just a linguistic representation, right? It changes my language.
But if your dominate emotions, if I had more time, I have 20,000 people, or a thousand and I have them write down all the emotions that they experience in an average week and I give them as long as they need. And on one side they’re writing empowering emotions, the others disempowering. Guess how many emotions people experience? Less than 12. And half of those make them feel like. So they got five or six good freakin’ feelings, right? It’s like they feel happy, happy excited.
Oh, frustrated, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed. How many of you know somebody who no matter what happens finds a way to get pissed off? How many knows somebody like this? Or no matter what happens, no matter what happens, they find a way to be happy or excited. How many know somebody like this, come on? When nine one one happened, and I’ll finish with this, I was in Hawaii. I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries.
We were translating four languages simultaneously for a program that I was conducting for a week. The night before was called emotional mastery. I got up, had no plan for this, and I said we had all these fireworks, I do crazy, fun stuff and then at the end I stopped.
I had this plan I was going to say, but I never do what I’m going to say and all of a sudden I said “when do people really start to live, when they face death”. And I went through this whole thing about if you weren’t going to get off this island, if nine days from now you were going to die, who would you call, what would you say, what would you do? One woman, well, that night was when 9-1-1 happened. One woman had come to the seminar and when she came there, her previous boyfriend had been kidnapped and murdered.
Her friend, or her new boyfriend, wanted to marry her and she said no. He said if you leave and go to that Hawaii thing, it’s over with us, she said it’s over. When I finished that night, she called him and left a message, true story, at the top of the World Trade Center where he worked, saying “honey, I love you, I just want you to know I want to marry you, it was stupid of me”. She was asleep ’cause it was three a.m. for us when he called her back from the top and said “honey, I can’t tell you what this means”.
He said “I don’t know how to tell you this, but you gave me the greatest gift ’cause I’m going to die”. And she played the recording for us in the room, she was on Larry King later. And he said “you’re probably wondering how on earth this could happen to you twice”. And he said “all I can say to you is this must be God’s message to you, honey, for now on every day, give your all, love your all, don’t let anything every stop you”.
She finishes and a man stands up and he says “I’m from Pakistan, I’m a muslim, I’d love to hold your hand and say I’m sorry, but frankly this is retribution”. I can’t tell you the rest ’cause I’m out of time.Really, are you sure? Ten seconds. Ten seconds and I want to be respectful, ten seconds. All I can tell ya is that I brought this man on stage with a man from New York who worked in the World Trade Center ’cause I had about 200 New Yorkers there.
More than 50 lost their entire companies, their friends, marking off their palm pilots. One financial trader, this woman, made a steel balling, 30 friends crossing off that all died. And what I did to people is said what are we going to focus on? What does this mean and what are we going to do? And I took the group and got people to focus on if you didn’t lose somebody today, you’re focus is going to be how to serve somebody else. There were people, one woman got up and she was so angry and screaming and yelling.
Then I found out she wasn’t from New York. She’s not an American, she doesn’t know anybody here. I said “do you always get angry”, she said “yes”. Guilty people got guilty, sad people got sad. And I took these two men and did what I call an indirect negotiation. Jewish man with family in the occupied territories, some New Yorker who would have died if he was at work that day and this man who wanted to be a terrorist and made it very clear. And the integration that happened is on a film, which I’ll be happy to send you.
So, you can really see what actually happened instead of my verbalization of it. But the two of them not only came together and changed their beliefs and models of the world, but they worked together to bring, for almost four years now, to various mosques and synagogues the idea of how to create peace. And he wrote a book which is called “My Jihad, My Way Of Peace”. So, transformation can happen.
So, my invitation to you is this, explore your web, the web in here. The needs, the beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you, for two reasons. So there’s more of you to give and achieve too. We all want to do it, but I mean give. ‘Cause that’s what’s going to fill you up. And, secondly, so you can appreciate, not just understand, that’s intellectual, that’s the mind, but appreciate what’s driving other people. It’s the only way our world is going to change. God bless you, thank you, I hope this was served.
Evan: Thank you guys so much for watching. I hope you enjoyed, this is a test new series for us. I’m curious what you think about it. Should the Did You Know series continue? Is there someone you’d like us to profile in the next Did You Know series? Let us know, did you hate this series and never want to see it again. Leave it in the comments below. We’re going to use your feedback to make some decisions.
I also want to give a quick shout out to Jennifer Clarke. Jennifer, thank you so much for picking a copy up of my book Your One Word it really, really, really, really means a lot to me. So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love and I’ll see ya soon.