How is Unconditional Heart Felt Acceptance the Key to Success?
How is Unconditional Heart Felt Acceptance the Key to Success?
As small business owners, we find many challenges in our lives, and wouldn’t it be nice to use the universal laws to our benefit? One of these universal laws, that may be the most difficult to wrap our hearts and minds around is “Whatever we resist, persists.” At first glance, this seems quite simple. The problem is that we are resisting at every turn UNAWARES, and that is many times, why things do not change for the better, in spite of our efforts to believe, focus, use the Law of Attraction, etc.
Another challenge of this universal law is that it seems very natural and normal for us to resist. We think that resistance or “fighting it” is the higher way, and we will overcome that way. In our society, in fact, we are lauded for fighting it and resisting it.
Remember, this law exists just like gravity, and we use it regardless of what we believe we are doing. So with that, let’s look at some common forms of resistance that we do every day, by way of course.
1. Fear is a common form of resistance. See the Dec 2008 Top Ten Tips letter for more insights on this. Just the pure emotion of fear states resistance. So, remember, whatever we fear, comes to us and as a form of resistance, then what we are fearing is going to also persist.
2. Outright Resistance, in that we are thinking or saying outright resistant things in order to overcome something, a kind of affirmation, so to speak. “This will not beat me!” or “I will fight this to the end!” As stated earlier, we think of these as good concepts to feel and think, but in reality they are resistant statements, and so we are causing things to persist inadvertently.
3. Feelings of Resistance, while saying or doing something else. This is something that is often times missed. It is important to understand that whatever we are feeling has all the power, and that is why when you state an affirmation or are trying to use the Law of Attraction, you have to feel it, you can’t just say it, or have it in your mind. So we can say and think a lot of things, but it is possible at a feeling level, we are seriously resisting, therefore no matter what we say or do, we end up causing our situation to persist.
4. “Making wrong” is a very common form of resistance. We do this so often, that we are not even aware of this. I would like to discuss this further below.
So what is “Making Wrong” and what does this have to do with my business and my life? This phrase, “Making Wrong” means that when we are experiencing anything, and we decide to “make it wrong.” Instead of looking at the experience as just a part of a process that you and your fellow human beings are in, we determine that it is right or wrong. If we determine that it is wrong, then we have just resisted. So if we look at our business, for example, and we think it is doing poorly, and are constantly fearing, focusing on that, we have used all three universal laws to our detriment. Whatever we are fearing, has comes to us. Whatever we are focusing on, is now expanding. Whatever we are resisting, is now persisting.
You may ask, well how do I look at it differently, and use these laws to my benefit? Rather than making something wrong, let’s just decide to observe it, without judgment. Let’s decide to accept it, both with head and heart for what it is, without judgment or making it wrong, accepting unconditionally. Once we move into an observatory point of view, and decide to completely accept it, not fighting it, not making it wrong, not judging ourselves or anyone else, accepting that we are all in a process and it is OK, then we can begin to use these laws to our benefit. Acceptance brings transmutation. Gratitude brings the right focus for expansion, and both take fear completely out of the equation. We will see our situations actually transmute. The key here is to accept completely and unconditionally, no resistance, no making wrong, accepting with both head and heart, that this is the way it is forever, and that you unconditionally accept it. Even though this may seem backwards, the universal laws are the laws, and again we cannot change them and we will use them how we use them.
To clarify, I am going to give you an example of this in my own life in order to show you the tremendous power in this law. It is not business related, it is physical pain related. I think this makes a very simple and clear example of “making wrong” vs. “acceptance” to something we normally would not accept and automatically resist or make wrong. I woke up one morning with a severe migraine headache. I had a meeting to be at and so dragged myself out of bed and went to my day long meeting. The headache was with me all day. Now all of us, myself included, think of a headache as bad, and so we automatically are doing a “make wrong” about it. How do you unconditionally accept a headache, accept it as if it is going to be with you for the rest of your life and FEEL that acceptance feeling about it? Well, I resisted it all day, making it wrong, as would be our normal tendency, and as I resisted, it persisted, all day. Finally, I decided to seriously try the acceptance approach. It took me a little bit of time to work my way thru this, but once I just focused on the pain in my head, visualized myself sitting down by it and accepting it, being with it, and telling it that I completely accepted it as it was for the rest of my life, within 20 minutes (most of the 20 minutes was getting to this place of complete and unconditional acceptance), the headache was completely gone and I felt energetic and renewed. It was amazing!!! Some might say a miracle, but it was simply me exercising the universal principle of unconditionally accepting it, rather than making it wrong and resisting it.
So if we want something to transmute into a different situation, according to this principle of what we resist, persists, we need to accept our situation unconditionally. We need to accept it as if this is what it will be for the rest of our life and are completely content with it. We need to FEEL this, not just try to believe it in our heads. We need to wrap that acceptance around it and be with it, just letting it be and us being completely at peace with it just the way it is. Now I understand that seems exactly the opposite of what we should do, but the universal law is what it is, whether we believe it or not. As we practice this, we will see our situations transmute and ideas/opportunities will come to us, we will find that the Law of Attraction is working because we are no longer subversively sabotaging it, and we can begin to do all sorts of ‘intending’ with tremendous results.
One other tip that helps me to stay in this place of acceptance, not “making wrong”, is to constantly remind myself that, “I am in a process, he is in a process, the company is in a process, and it is perfect the way that it is, it is OK!” So we are all in a process and it is OK! This saying has helped me to live more in a place of unconditional acceptance, doing less of making wrongs, and so my life has really changed in ways that I could go on about for hours.
I promise you that as you really do this and work at it daily, you will begin to see your perspective change and your business change. You will find yourself thinking more clearly, seeing ideas, having opportunities that you may have not seen before. Your focus will change! Your world will now be in color, instead of depressing variations of gray.
My heart in this matter is for each of us in small business to be able to thrive in this current economy, so I challenge each of you to begin the acceptance process of yourself, your decisions, your company, your employees and everything else, and see if your world transmutes into something you could not have imagined, regardless of the media and any other rhetoric that is being said all around you. Realize you are in a process and this will take time, but it is definitely worth the effort.
How is Unconditional Heart Felt Acceptance the Key to Success - To learn more about this author, visit Jacquie M. Adkins's Website.
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So again, this month we are going to take a different approach to the Top Ten Tips, and get a little philosophical. As we know, there are universal laws that exist, and whether we use them unconsciously to our detriment or consciously to our benefit, we use them every day. Just like gravity, they are there, and no matter what we believe, we can’t escape them by just ignoring them. My heart is to help make us more aware, so that we are using these powerful universal laws to our benefit, making this time in our history a time to thrive in.
As small business owners, we find many challenges in our lives, and wouldn’t it be nice to use the universal laws to our benefit? One of these universal laws, that may be the most difficult to wrap our hearts and minds around is “Whatever we resist, persists.” At first glance, this seems quite simple. The problem is that we are resisting at every turn UNAWARES, and that is many times, why things do not change for the better, in spite of our efforts to believe, focus, use the Law of Attraction, etc.
Another challenge of this universal law is that it seems very natural and normal for us to resist. We think that resistance or “fighting it” is the higher way, and we will overcome that way. In our society, in fact, we are lauded for fighting it and resisting it.
Remember, this law exists just like gravity, and we use it regardless of what we believe we are doing. So with that, let’s look at some common forms of resistance that we do every day, by way of course.
1. Fear is a common form of resistance. See the Dec 2008 Top Ten Tips letter for more insights on this. Just the pure emotion of fear states resistance. So, remember, whatever we fear, comes to us and as a form of resistance, then what we are fearing is going to also persist.
2. Outright Resistance, in that we are thinking or saying outright resistant things in order to overcome something, a kind of affirmation, so to speak. “This will not beat me!” or “I will fight this to the end!” As stated earlier, we think of these as good concepts to feel and think, but in reality they are resistant statements, and so we are causing things to persist inadvertently.
3. Feelings of Resistance, while saying or doing something else. This is something that is often times missed. It is important to understand that whatever we are feeling has all the power, and that is why when you state an affirmation or are trying to use the Law of Attraction, you have to feel it, you can’t just say it, or have it in your mind. So we can say and think a lot of things, but it is possible at a feeling level, we are seriously resisting, therefore no matter what we say or do, we end up causing our situation to persist.
4. “Making wrong” is a very common form of resistance. We do this so often, that we are not even aware of this. I would like to discuss this further below.
So what is “Making Wrong” and what does this have to do with my business and my life? This phrase, “Making Wrong” means that when we are experiencing anything, and we decide to “make it wrong.” Instead of looking at the experience as just a part of a process that you and your fellow human beings are in, we determine that it is right or wrong. If we determine that it is wrong, then we have just resisted. So if we look at our business, for example, and we think it is doing poorly, and are constantly fearing, focusing on that, we have used all three universal laws to our detriment. Whatever we are fearing, has comes to us. Whatever we are focusing on, is now expanding. Whatever we are resisting, is now persisting.
You may ask, well how do I look at it differently, and use these laws to my benefit? Rather than making something wrong, let’s just decide to observe it, without judgment. Let’s decide to accept it, both with head and heart for what it is, without judgment or making it wrong, accepting unconditionally. Once we move into an observatory point of view, and decide to completely accept it, not fighting it, not making it wrong, not judging ourselves or anyone else, accepting that we are all in a process and it is OK, then we can begin to use these laws to our benefit. Acceptance brings transmutation. Gratitude brings the right focus for expansion, and both take fear completely out of the equation. We will see our situations actually transmute. The key here is to accept completely and unconditionally, no resistance, no making wrong, accepting with both head and heart, that this is the way it is forever, and that you unconditionally accept it. Even though this may seem backwards, the universal laws are the laws, and again we cannot change them and we will use them how we use them.
To clarify, I am going to give you an example of this in my own life in order to show you the tremendous power in this law. It is not business related, it is physical pain related. I think this makes a very simple and clear example of “making wrong” vs. “acceptance” to something we normally would not accept and automatically resist or make wrong. I woke up one morning with a severe migraine headache. I had a meeting to be at and so dragged myself out of bed and went to my day long meeting. The headache was with me all day. Now all of us, myself included, think of a headache as bad, and so we automatically are doing a “make wrong” about it. How do you unconditionally accept a headache, accept it as if it is going to be with you for the rest of your life and FEEL that acceptance feeling about it? Well, I resisted it all day, making it wrong, as would be our normal tendency, and as I resisted, it persisted, all day. Finally, I decided to seriously try the acceptance approach. It took me a little bit of time to work my way thru this, but once I just focused on the pain in my head, visualized myself sitting down by it and accepting it, being with it, and telling it that I completely accepted it as it was for the rest of my life, within 20 minutes (most of the 20 minutes was getting to this place of complete and unconditional acceptance), the headache was completely gone and I felt energetic and renewed. It was amazing!!! Some might say a miracle, but it was simply me exercising the universal principle of unconditionally accepting it, rather than making it wrong and resisting it.
So if we want something to transmute into a different situation, according to this principle of what we resist, persists, we need to accept our situation unconditionally. We need to accept it as if this is what it will be for the rest of our life and are completely content with it. We need to FEEL this, not just try to believe it in our heads. We need to wrap that acceptance around it and be with it, just letting it be and us being completely at peace with it just the way it is. Now I understand that seems exactly the opposite of what we should do, but the universal law is what it is, whether we believe it or not. As we practice this, we will see our situations transmute and ideas/opportunities will come to us, we will find that the Law of Attraction is working because we are no longer subversively sabotaging it, and we can begin to do all sorts of ‘intending’ with tremendous results.
One other tip that helps me to stay in this place of acceptance, not “making wrong”, is to constantly remind myself that, “I am in a process, he is in a process, the company is in a process, and it is perfect the way that it is, it is OK!” So we are all in a process and it is OK! This saying has helped me to live more in a place of unconditional acceptance, doing less of making wrongs, and so my life has really changed in ways that I could go on about for hours.
I promise you that as you really do this and work at it daily, you will begin to see your perspective change and your business change. You will find yourself thinking more clearly, seeing ideas, having opportunities that you may have not seen before. Your focus will change! Your world will now be in color, instead of depressing variations of gray.
My heart in this matter is for each of us in small business to be able to thrive in this current economy, so I challenge each of you to begin the acceptance process of yourself, your decisions, your company, your employees and everything else, and see if your world transmutes into something you could not have imagined, regardless of the media and any other rhetoric that is being said all around you. Realize you are in a process and this will take time, but it is definitely worth the effort.
How is Unconditional Heart Felt Acceptance the Key to Success - To learn more about this author, visit Jacquie M. Adkins's Website.
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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