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The Controversy of Coaching – Can It Be a Bad Thing?

Guest post by: Melanie Benson Strick

Article Overview: Knowing when you need a coach, versus a mentor, can be a bank account saver. At different stages of our business development we need different kinds of support. Hiring the wrong kind of mentor can leave you frustrated, overwhelmed...and broke. Read on to discover this important distinction in a sea of "coaches."

The Controversy of Coaching – Can It Be a Bad Thing?

Many years ago I was invited to be a part of a panel of consultants, coaches and trainers who were seeing the growing use of the word "coach" as a common term for every type of support. Just as a licensed physician would take issue with an unlicensed/untrained healer, the long-time, heavily-trained success coaches were increasingly concerned with who was referring to their services as "coaching." The consensus was that there is two very different ways in which people need support:

Coaching and Mentoring.

duelJust to be clear, there is a VERY big and important distinction between a coach and a mentor. A mentor has spent many years learning how to be successful in something and can teach you what THEY DID to achieve that success. On the other hand, a good coach is trained to elicit from you your own greatness and help you achieve it through a series of processes.

Why is this important?

Because business owners need coaches and mentors at different times for different reasons. But there is a big problem with seeking a mentor when you need a good coach. And vice-versa. And to be totally blunt, there is a lot of mentor malpractice happening out there right now. Way too many "experts" without proper training are meaning well but sending naive entrepreneurs into business models that just aren't right for them. After thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours of trying hard to make the advice work, these entrepreneurs are just giving up and thinking they just can't be successful.

So here is some insight into when you need a mentor vs. a coach:

A mentor will teach you what they know based on their own first-hand experience. Their job is to train you on strategies, techniques, tools and resources that can short-cut your path to a success that LOOKS LIKE THEIRS! A good mentor will share the habits, insights and mental practices that made them great.

A coach will guide you to get congruent with what YOU WANT, based on your values, priorities, needs and life desires. A coach will rarely tell you what you should do. They will engage you in provocative and deep awareness and help reveal a path that you will feel engaged and excited about.

A mentor has not had formal coach training. They are simply good at what they do. You want to hire a mentor when you want to learn a skill or emulate exactly what they have learned to do.

A coach may or may not have actually achieved what you desire. A good coach will be able to help you get to a certain point in your journey but you may need to supplement with specialized training.

But what if you could have both? A mentor with a proven track record who is actually a great coach that will ensure that every choice you make is congruent with what's best for you. As you look to hire the right person to guide you on your journey make sure you explore these questions to get the right person:

1. Do they have actual training to help you align with what's right for youor do they just have their own experience to teach you from. (You will be able to get past barriers when your mentor/coach has the ability to customize their strategies to align with YOUR greatness.)

2. Do they have a track record of helping people achieve AND sustain success? (It's one thing to get someone to create success once...but can their clients sustain the success?)

3. Is their approach empowering and up-leveling or do they use negative or dis-empowering strategies to get you to change? (Believe it or not, a lot of mentors out there will make you feel like shit to get you to listen to them. This is another form of mentor malpractice.)

4. Do I want a life AND business similar to theirs? (Don't drink their kool-aid unless you really want to work as hard as they do. And if they don't tell you its hard work involved to grow and create a six figure plus business then they are lying - trust me.)

Don't take this wrong...I believe that everyone benefits from being coached. Some of the greatest people in history have had mentors and coaches to help them overcome roadblocks and live in their brilliance. Its important for you to know what you need most in order to invest wisely - and shine brightly!

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Article Tags: business coach, do i need a coach or mentor, hiring a coach, hiring a mentorbusiness development, melanie benson strick



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Re: need pricing help please - [quote="jvprosperity":t4htv1h6]here's my opinion that was derived from the person I heard it from (Russell Brunson) I view internet Marketing products as a Ladder. At the bottom of the Ladder is ebooks and at the top is One on One Coaching. so the ladder would look like this starting from the Top ($$$) to Bottom($) One-to-One Coaching ($$$$$$) Workshops ($$$$$) Teleseminars ($$$$) Video($$$) Audio ($$) ebooks ($) I agree with this methodology mainly because of the convenience factor and value from the customers point of view.[/quote:t4htv1h6] I also agree with this methodology, but sometimes some ebooks sell more in 2 digits. My 26 pages report sell for $9.77
Re: Business Women Peer Mentoring Spotlight - That is a great idea, David. This is what I had in mind for the Women's section, but it makes sense to post in on the main site. Of course, I'm waiting for some women to step up to the plate and share how they could use some support on taking the next step with their business! If you are a Business Woman reading this, I invite you to consider that this is not displaying weakness in any form. Peer mentoring and Coaching is incredibly valuable. You get to bounce your ideas off others, hear perspectives from outside your own box, and feel the power of others cheering you on. To me, it's wisdom to use all of our available resources to move towards business success. That's why I have my own Coach and my own Mentor Coaching Group. I also offer that to my clients. These are services one usually has to pay for and you could enjoy some of it free right here! So who wants to start? Can you tell I'm excited about the possibilities for you even before you begin? Warmly, Tami
Re: Business Women Peer Mentoring Spotlight - Hi Everyone, Gosh, I REALLY appreciate your concrete feedback. This was far more than I expected and I'm glad you said what you thought straight out. Each of you have shared something of value and I want to take some more time to think and really go over what each of you have said. However, I can see there are some things I need to change right away. What an interesting point about a NEW program perhaps making people think they are guinea pigs! This is NOT what I want to convey! It's funny how we can see some things so clearly in others while not always seeing it for ourselves! I must admit there are a few things I've been meaning to change (like my bio which is very outdated). Obviously, these things need to be higher on my priority list. You caught me like the plumber who puts his clients first and doesn't get around to fixing his own tap! As far as my target market, I do feel quite strongly about working with Women Leaders and doing Leadership Coaching with them. It's non-negotiable in my books. In my Executive Coaching training, the terms "Leaders" and "Executives" are interchangable. To me, an Executive is a Leader and so is the Business Woman or Entrepreneur who is CEO of her own business. I love working with decision makers! What I did learn is that I need to avoid opening up the Leadership term beyond what I described above. I'm also wondering if there is a misunderstanding with the general public as to what Leadership Coaching really is. Leadership Coaching is all about developing your leadership skills, both as a people manager and in more effectively running and growing the business. There is ALWAYS room for growth in some way. As well, sometimes, we just need a sounding board to clarify what our next BEST step is. In fact, if a woman thinks she has nothing to work on, then we aren't a good Client/Coach fit anyway. How can she grow if she doesn't see the value of expressing ALL of the great ability within her? How can her company grow if she doesn't see the value of strategic planning for the next best level? Thanks again to you all! I will go back to my website and really question whether I am conveying the right message. I got more than I bargained for in this Spotlight... you generously offered way more than I was asking. I think we could be on to something great for the Forum. Now it's time to let someone else have the spotlight. It would be great if everyone took a turn! In gratitude, Tami
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