“I’m so tired of reinventing myself,” my client told me. She had worked in a law firm, in a government agency, then in a corporate setting as a writer, and now she wanted to open her own law practice. With every change she had to try to uncover new skills that she had and it seemed exhausting to her. She told me each time she spent hours looking for new ways she might fit into a particular job. She felt like a pretzel being twisted into someone else’s job description.
As she began to prepare to open her law practice, she began to hear those voices in her head telling her she didn’t know enough, she needed more training, and that she wasn’t going to make it. All that negative self talk made her call me before our usual session because she was feeling so agitated.
“What is it that you think is missing?” I asked her. She wasn’t sure. “What do you have to offer to clients then?” I asked and she began to tell me what she could do. Suddenly she said, “I really do have enough. I have a lot of transferable skills from my other jobs.” Her voice changed and I could hear the relief and excitement. “What did you do in your previous jobs if you got stuck because you were lacking expertise in something?” I asked and when she answered I added, “Can you do that here?”
Somehow in trying to “reinvent” herself she thought she needed to learn more and try to be someone else. In fact what she needed to do is to see how the skills she already has can be used in her law practice in new ways. In addition she needed to know that she did have the resources she needed to get any expertise she was lacking.
“You are enough” a coach once told me. Seems like a good message for my client and for everyone at the end of the year. We are often hardest on ourselves. Soon you may be thinking about resolutions or goals for 2004. The last week of 2003 however provides a good opportunity to reflect on what you have accomplished in 2003 and who you have become.
I encourage everyone to do this. We get so caught up in what we want for the future that we don’t have time to be grateful for the present. If you are unemployed, writing down your accomplishments may seem very difficult but it is very important. Undoubtedly you have learned some important lessons about yourself and accomplished some things even if they have not resulted in a job. Take some time during this last week to feel really good about who you are and what you have achieved. Allow that good feeling to put you in that positive frame of mind that will energize you for 2004.
Take action:
1. Make a list of your 50 most memorable achievements for the year 2003.
2. What have you learned about yourself in 2003? What impact will that have in 2004?
3. Create and implement your own special way of showing your gratitude for your accomplishments and personal growth in 2003. I’d love to hear about your special way if you are willing to share it with me.
To learn more about this author, visit Alvah Parker's Website.
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