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Making Conversation

Written by: Alvah Parker

Article Overview: Years ago when I was just starting my career in sales at AT&T, another new account executive in my group found it absolutely amazing that I had gone to lunch with a customer. She said to me, “What did you talk about? Wasn’t there a lot of dead air space?” A similar question about finding topics to talk about with clients came up recently at a program that I attended on Rainmaking for Women Lawyers presented by the Women’s Bar Association.

Making Conversation

Years ago when I was just starting my career in sales at AT&T, another new account executive in my group found it absolutely amazing that I had gone to lunch with a customer. She said to me, “What did you talk about? Wasn’t there a lot of dead air space?” A similar question about finding topics to talk about with clients came up recently at a program that I attended on Rainmaking for Women Lawyers presented by the Women’s Bar Association.

Whether you are starting your own business/law practice or job-hunting there are people that it will be important for you to get to know more than just superficially. In fact it will be important to start to establish a long-term relationship with the person. One easy way to do this is to invite them to breakfast or lunch. It does require that you find ways to converse with the person. For some this is really scary.

One way to deal with that fear is to identify it and then prepare to overcome it. My colleague had admitted to her fear- long periods of silence. How could she overcome it?

There are some people who can always find subjects to talk about. If you are one of those people then you are lucky. Conversation with you is easy and flows. Some customers are good talkers too. They make the task easy. If you have a customer like that again you are lucky and they are probably the ones you want to start with.

But I am talking about the harder times. Perhaps you are not someone who comes up with conversation topics easily. You might even be a bit shy or nervous when it comes to being with people you don’t know well. I know when I am in this kind of tense situations my mind goes blank! So what do you do? For me the answer was to prepare ahead of time.

At that same seminar on Rainmaking one of the panelists said she had mastered the “art” of cold calling by scripting her calls. It was her attitude though that impressed me. She said if she could learn the complexities of the law she could certainly figure out how to convince a prospect to listen to her on the phone.

So enlist your own ‘can do’ attitude. Maybe a friend or colleague who knows the person you will be dining with can help you find out that person’s interests. If not be prepared with some general topics that interest you. The newspaper is a great source of good ideas for discussion. Just stay away from the controversial unless you can handle a heated discussion.

Woman often complain about discussing sports in business but it is clear that talking about sports can be connecting and interesting when both parties enjoy the topic. I’ve known women who studied the sports pages before dining with an important customer because they knew the customer was an avid baseball or football fan.

Another way to fill the "empty spaces" is to have a depth of understanding on a topic. “I’m a history buff,” my client told me. “ so whenever I have a chance, I tell the person I’m dining with some little known tidbits that are funny or interesting. It always inspires the other person to think of a story he/she has heard and then we are off and running.”

Identify Where You Have A Depth Of Understanding is the second step in the six steps to applying what you already know to your business or career development. Most people develop a depth of understanding in the areas they are or were interested in as well as areas where they have natural gifts and strengths. They can use that knowledge in a variety of ways in their business or career. If you have thought it through carefully you can use your hidden assets as you try to build rapport and credibility with a new customer or employer.

Take Action

1. Prepare for a lunch discussion with a customer, client, potential employer or someone who is important to your career. Think of 3 topics that you could initiate discussion on.
2. Identify the areas where you have a depth of understanding. How have they helped you in your career? How could you use them in establishing your relationship with a customer, client or manager.
3. Identify some areas where you would like to deepen your understanding. Make an action plan to do that with steps and times to get it done

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Article Tags: account executive, attitude, dead air space, rainmaking, silence, women lawyers



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