Ten Tips For Becoming More Self Assertive

Guest post by: Alvah Parker
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How To Be Happy at Work? Acknowledge Yourself - By Alvah Parker

This month I had the pleasure of hearing Johanna Skouras speak at a Chamber of Commerce meeting. Self-Assertion is something I have struggled with myself. Johanna says that to learn to be self assertive we need to learn how to serve our own needs without hurting others. As an only child I had no need to be assertive in my family. My needs were always acknowledged and usually served. The difficulty came for me when I was with other people. I smiled when I picked up Johanna's book at the library and the librarian, a friend, said, "Oh Alvah, you don't need that book!" I'm still working on many of these tips. What about you?

From Standing Up for Yourself -The Art of Self-Assertion by Johanna Skouras
I have quoted directly from the book. If you are interested in reading and owning the book yourself it can be ordered through Amazon. Use the link above.

1. “You can choose how to react to a stressful situation rather than get swept away. You take control by deciding what you will or will not put up with.”

2. “Non-action is an action. You’ve made the decision not to act.”

3. “In trying to resolve a conflict remember that conflict/resolution is almost always about compromise and not about winning or losing.”

4. “Let go of perfectionism. Loosening up is not the same as losing control.”

5. “In your self-talk assessments, change your perspective from “What do they think of me?” to “What do I think of them?””

6. “Always examine what you have going for you rather than what’s going against you.”

7. “As long as you know you could tell someone the raw truth but you choose not to, then you are still being assertive.”

8. “You are responsible for your actions, not your feelings.”

9. “When you can’t change the system and you can’t change the other, you change.”

10. “Practice self-forgiveness and be generous with small personal rewards for your hard work.”

In the book there are two more.

Dont Say Yes When You Mean No

Assert your Skills in Sales

How to be more assertive at work

Great Leadership Requires Inspiration, IX

Facets of Assertiveness

Marketing Strategies: Do You Find It Easy or Difficult to "Toot Your Own Horn?"

Develope your Assertiveness Training

Aggression or Assertion

"A 2-Letter Word That's So Hard To Say"

5 Tips for Surviving Your First Day on the Job

Assert Your Capabilities

Feeling Overloaded At Work?...Learn How To Say

How To Be An Assertive Marketer Advice From Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach

If You Want Things The Way They Were…

Empowerment – Taking Control Of Your Life

Work At Home Moms - How To Not Get Exploited

How to Negotiate without Compromising Everything

Part Two - Prospecting for More Sales

Assertiveness

Use Assertiveness Skills Training To Respond Better When Confronted With Aggressive People

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How To Be Happy at Work? Acknowledge Yourself - By Alvah Parker

About the Author: Alvah Parker

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Alvah Parker is a Practice Advisor (The Attorneys’ Coach) and a Career Changers’ Coach as well as publisher of "Parker’s Points", an email tip list and "Road to Success", an ezine. Subscribe now to these free monthly publications at her website http://www.asparker.com/samples.html and receive a free values assessment. Work becomes more meaningful and enjoyable when you work from your values. Alvah Parker began her career as a high school chemistry teacher. She later transitioned to a sales career at AT&T. As a Sales Professional at AT&T for 15 years she was elected to the prestigious Counsel of Leaders for the top 3% of the sales force. After leaving AT&T she transitioned into a coaching career. Alvah is a senior coach for Boxwood Technology where she coaches association members on career issues and also a SCORE Business Counselor where she advises and counsels small business owners. Parker’s Value Program© enables her clients to find their own way to work that is more fulfilling and profitable. Her clients are attorneys, entrepreneurs, managers and people in transition who want to find work that is in line with their own values. Alvah is found on the web at http://www.asparker.com. She may also be reached at 781-598-0388.
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More from Alvah Parker
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