This month I had the pleasure of hearing Johanna Skouras speak at a Chamber of Commerce meeting. Self-Assertion is something I have struggled with myself. Johanna says that to learn to be self assertive we need to learn how to serve our own needs without hurting others. As an only child I had no need to be assertive in my family. My needs were always acknowledged and usually served. The difficulty came for me when I was with other people. I smiled when I picked up Johanna's book at the library and the librarian, a friend, said, "Oh Alvah, you don't need that book!" I'm still working on many of these tips. What about you?
From Standing Up for Yourself -The Art of Self-Assertion by Johanna Skouras
I have quoted directly from the book. If you are interested in reading and owning the book yourself it can be ordered through Amazon. Use the link above.
1. “You can choose how to react to a stressful situation rather than get swept away. You take control by deciding what you will or will not put up with.”
2. “Non-action is an action. You’ve made the decision not to act.”
3. “In trying to resolve a conflict remember that conflict/resolution is almost always about compromise and not about winning or losing.”
4. “Let go of perfectionism. Loosening up is not the same as losing control.”
5. “In your self-talk assessments, change your perspective from “What do they think of me?” to “What do I think of them?””
6. “Always examine what you have going for you rather than what’s going against you.”
7. “As long as you know you could tell someone the raw truth but you choose not to, then you are still being assertive.”
8. “You are responsible for your actions, not your feelings.”
9. “When you can’t change the system and you can’t change the other, you change.”
10. “Practice self-forgiveness and be generous with small personal rewards for your hard work.”
In the book there are two more.
Ten Tips For Becoming More Self Assertive - To learn more about this author, visit Alvah Parker's Website.
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Alvah Parker
(Visit Alvah's Website)
Alvah Parker is a Practice Advisor (The
Attorneys’ Coach) and a Career Changers’
Coach as well as publisher of "Parker’s
Points", an email tip list and "Road to
Success", an ezine. Subscribe now to
these free monthly publications at her
website www.asparker.com/samples.html
Alvah Parker began her career as a high
school chemistry teacher. She later
transition to a sales career at AT&T. As
a Sales Professional at AT&T for 15 years
she was elected to the prestigious Counsel
of Leaders for the top 3% of the sales
force. After leaving AT&T she
transitioned into a coaching career and
also volunteers as a SCORE Business
Counselor where she advises and counsels
small business owners.
Parker’s Value Program© enables her
clients to find their own way to work that
is more fulfilling and profitable. Her
clients are attorneys and people in
transition who want to find work that is
in line with their own life purpose.
Alvah is found on the web at www.aspar
ker.com. She may also be reached at
781-598-0388.
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