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The Importance of Listening in Communication

Written by: Alvah Parker

Article Overview: At first glance communication with another person seems relatively easy. This month I had two different experiences that showed me how tricky it is to understand what a person does or doesn't say. Taking the time to listen to others is important whether you are lawyer, a manager or an employee.

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The Importance of Listening in Communication

At first glance communication with another person seems relatively
easy. This month I had two different experiences that showed me how tricky
it is to understand what a person does or doesn't say. Taking the time
to listen to others is important whether you are lawyer, a manager or
an employee.
A friend recently shared with me her frustration with her sister in
law. She told me that the woman seemed to rebuff her all the time. The
sister in law consistently turned down invitations to go places and when
they were at family events her sister in law remained quiet. "Cold fish"
and "private person" were ways my friend described her.
Although I did not share this with my friend I did wonder if someone
might use the same words about me. While my friend is warm, outgoing and
talkative, I tend to be more quiet and introspective. I must admit that
there are times I want and need to be alone too. In fact I enjoy my
friend because she is so different from me. Her talkative style energizes
me and draws me out.
The second experience was at a funeral for the husband of my mother's
friend. The man who passed away was a quiet man who lived a long life
(90+ years). The few times that I had been with this couple his wife did
all the talking. I knew the man was a pianist but nothing more.
At the funeral two people gave eulogies. The first was a nephew who
said that the man had married into a family of talkers. At family events
everyone was shouting and laughing. His uncle, the nephew said, had a
quiet presence that the family would miss.
The other speaker was a cousin who was also a musician-a violinist. The
deceased was a jazz pianist and had played with some of the greats in
the jazz world. The cousin told of the wonderful times he and his
cousin had had improvising together. In fact he said lately he had begun
calling his cousin "brother". The speaker said his cousin's way of
communicating was with music.
Often people don't "get" another person simply because their
communication styles are so different. The musician and his cousin did understand
one another because they were alike. We are most comfortable with
people who are similar in style to ourselves. At least we know how to
communicate with those people.
In my practice I use the DISC behavioral assessment to help people
learn about themselves and others. The report provides communication tips
for people of different styles. Once clients know how others like to be
communicated with, they can adapt their own style to that of their
client, employer, employee, team member, or friend.
When you attend a party, a networking event or family function it is
important to remember that not everyone is alike. Someone who is quiet
and reserved (an introvert) might appreciate having someone new to talk
to. It takes time and some effort to draw someone out. Just be curious
about their interests and you may discover a jazz musician, a poet or
who knows what! Everyone has a value in the world. Take the time to
listen for it in others.

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Home > Business-Coach > Alvah Parker > The Importance of Listening in Communication
Article Tags: cold fish, experiences, frustration, introvert, lawyer, private person, taking the time

About the Author: Alvah Parker
RSS for Alvah's articles - Visit Alvah's website

Alvah Parker is a Practice Advisor (The Attorneys’ Coach) and a Career Changers’ Coach as well as publisher of "Parker’s Points", an email tip list and "Road to Success", an ezine. Subscribe now to these free monthly publications at her website http://www.asparker.com/samples.html and receive a free values assessment. Work becomes more meaningful and enjoyable when you work from your values. Alvah Parker began her career as a high school chemistry teacher. She later transitioned to a sales career at AT&T. As a Sales Professional at AT&T for 15 years she was elected to the prestigious Counsel of Leaders for the top 3% of the sales force. After leaving AT&T she transitioned into a coaching career.  Alvah is a senior coach for Boxwood Technology where she coaches association members on career issues and also  a SCORE Business Counselor where she advises and counsels small business owners. Parker’s Value Program© enables her clients to find their own way to work that is more fulfilling and profitable. Her clients are attorneys, entrepreneurs, managers and people in transition who want to find work that is in line with their own values. Alvah is found on the web at http://www.asparker.com. She may also be reached at 781-598-0388.

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More from Alvah Parker
Ten Characteristics Of Meaningful Work
10 Tips For More Effective Networking
10 Tips To Make Your Networking More Rewarding
Self Awareness The Key to Finding Meaningful Work
Ten Networking Tips For The Job Seeker


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