Idea of the Week A Clients Thanksgiving
Idea of the Week A Clients Thanksgiving
The bad mouthing continued and my client was now facing a big dilemma. See, she wasn’t the kind of person who valued losing her temper. She had grown so much and no longer pulled her temper as the trump card of control. She had grown up, and now recognized that she was responsible (i.e. able to respond) to every situation in her life, pleasant or not. So what could she do now with this loud, bad-mouthing in-law?
THE MIDDLE GROUND------------- values clarified = choice
My client moved from dilemma to choice when she realized that not only did she have many values, but that these values were in an order of priority too. Perhaps clarifying them would make the best course of action more apparent...
She had listened to a lot more than her fill of negativity because she wanted to encourage her in-law to see the good in her family. She also didn’t want to lose her temper because she values her own serenity, but listening to the criticism interrupted it too.
When she realized that she wants to help people to see differently, but first must take care of herself, she clarified her values. Mental peace first, influencing others second. So how could she take care of number one in this situation?
THE SOLUTION-------------------Boundaries
My client decided that she would redefine her boundaries. That is, from this moment forward, she would no longer stand for negative talk about her family from this person. She would state her request simply and unemotionally. She would enforce it if needed by illuminating infractions ("were you aware that you just criticized my parents"). She would remove the "temper threat" and simply turn on her heel and leave if the bad mouthing continued. This solution gave her peace and recreated the relationship between her and her in-law.
Suffice it to say, I believe now that the former bad-mouther has a new found respect for a family that could produce such a wise and compassionate person as my client.
***
No dilemma is solvable, but clarity always brings real choice. What must you redefine?
Idea of the Week A Clients Thanksgiving - To learn more about this author, visit Elizabeth Mullen's Website.
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This past week, a client of mine presented a family situation that needed tending to. If this problem wasn't handled, then Thanksgiving was bound to set a few feathers flying. My client’s challenge was with an in-law who spoke negatively about the rest of her family. She didn’t want to hear her family bad-mouthed and had repeatedly threatened to lose her temper if it didn’t stop. This had very little effect on the critical in-law who may have thought she was still in-bounds if no tantrum was forthcoming.
The bad mouthing continued and my client was now facing a big dilemma. See, she wasn’t the kind of person who valued losing her temper. She had grown so much and no longer pulled her temper as the trump card of control. She had grown up, and now recognized that she was responsible (i.e. able to respond) to every situation in her life, pleasant or not. So what could she do now with this loud, bad-mouthing in-law?
THE MIDDLE GROUND------------- values clarified = choice
My client moved from dilemma to choice when she realized that not only did she have many values, but that these values were in an order of priority too. Perhaps clarifying them would make the best course of action more apparent...
She had listened to a lot more than her fill of negativity because she wanted to encourage her in-law to see the good in her family. She also didn’t want to lose her temper because she values her own serenity, but listening to the criticism interrupted it too.
When she realized that she wants to help people to see differently, but first must take care of herself, she clarified her values. Mental peace first, influencing others second. So how could she take care of number one in this situation?
THE SOLUTION-------------------Boundaries
My client decided that she would redefine her boundaries. That is, from this moment forward, she would no longer stand for negative talk about her family from this person. She would state her request simply and unemotionally. She would enforce it if needed by illuminating infractions ("were you aware that you just criticized my parents"). She would remove the "temper threat" and simply turn on her heel and leave if the bad mouthing continued. This solution gave her peace and recreated the relationship between her and her in-law.
Suffice it to say, I believe now that the former bad-mouther has a new found respect for a family that could produce such a wise and compassionate person as my client.
***
No dilemma is solvable, but clarity always brings real choice. What must you redefine?
Idea of the Week A Clients Thanksgiving - To learn more about this author, visit Elizabeth Mullen's Website.
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Kim CastleWith nearly two decades in the advertising and design business, with clients like Domino's Pizza, General Motors, Direct TV, Pedigree, Wolfgang Puck, Higher Octave Music, Hollywood Celebrity Products, Disney, and Paramount, as well as thousands of entrepreneurs around the world define, structure, communicate, and position their business for greater profits, BrandU(R) co-creators Kim Castle and W. Vito Montone discovered that entrepreneurs could experience the same power that big brands command for a fraction of the cost with the world's only process-based results-drive Integral approach to business creation. BrandU(R) is helping entrepreneurs grow with the power of extreme clarity from idea...to brand...to market(TM) and helping one million entrepreneurs become successful and whole so that they can make a difference in the world. Are you one of them? If you want to experience clarity all the way to the bank(TM), get started now at http://www.brandu.com. - Visit Kim Castle's Website |
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Anne BarrAnne Barr has over 26 years experience in sales and marketing, six years as a franchisee. She has assisted over 367 business owners and purchasers to achieve their goals in career change, transition and exit strategy. She holds the designation of Certified Franchise Executive from the International Franchise Association, Certified Business Intermediary from the International Business Brokers Association and Board Certified Broker from the Texas Association of Business Brokers. Anne is active in professional organizations, networking groups and volunteers for non-profit entities. As owner/operator of four successful businesses, Anne has proven people skills and enjoys helping clients find the right "fit" in business ownership. Visit www.FranchiseOpportunitySpecialist.com for more information about me and my company. - Visit Anne Barr's Website |
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John PowerJohn Power, founder of Biltmore Franchise Consulting, has extensive experience developing and marketing franchises and business opportunities. He has been in and around franchising for over twenty years. From 1980 through 1990 he conceptualized, organized, and developed the American Video Association. He grew AVA to 2,000 national members, before selling the company it 1990. It was later merged into another home video marketing company. From 2000 to 2005 he worked as a contract marketing and human resources consultant to several local and national companies. In 2005 Mr. Power began working as a franchise development consultant on a full-time basis. Since that time he has helped more than three dozen companies initiate and develop their franchising program. He notes that there are many companies interested in developing a franchise program, and who need his specialized assistance. Mr. Power is a “hands-on” franchise consultant. He said, “I am the ‘nuts and bolts’ person who tends to the details for my clients.” Mr. Power holds a B.S. degree with a major in Marketing. See: www.biltmorefranchise.com You may contact Mr. Power at: jpower@biltmorefranchise.co - Visit John Power's Website |
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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