Many of us have learned how important it is that we formulate our desired goals and outcomes in positive terms...but why exactly is that? Why isn't it effective to state a "don't want" for the future? Why must we spend our energy creating mental pictures about our what we want? Why watch our words?
The short answer is that our brains think in pictures. There are also emotions associated with every image, regardless if it's real or created. These feelings can push us in the direction we want, or work against our desired outcomes. It is extremely useful to know the sequence in which these pictures are "seen" by the mind: understanding this secret will reveal the emotional charge surrounding your goals...and your success or failure in attaining them.
Imagine for a moment that someone has decided that he does not want to look or feel overweight in his summer skivvies. He knows that he does not want to be fat anymore. Well, here's the rub: as long as he phrases his desires in negative terms (a don't want), his brain is set up for struggle, pain and probably failure. Here's why...
In the above scenario our friend experiences the emotions of seeing himself "x" ed out--- kind of like a circular no smoking sign with a picture of himself in the middle. Ouch! His brain builds images through self-talk and spoken words in sequence: "me(image of self)...not(cross out self)....fat(description of self already crossed out). Before he even got to the detail of the fatman in the picture, his brain and body rebelled against this annihilation image, and created resistance to the concept of losing weight.
Many people have referred to this process and the results of it as self-sabotage. Really it's just survival: no one can bear "seeing" themselves "x" ed out--- the psyche must protect itself!
So how can you use this knowledge to speed toward your goals with 'whole brain/being support?'
Three steps (number one already underway...):
1. Become aware of your self-talk and the created images therein.
2. Create or find images of what you do want to have in your life. Focus here.
3. Recognize that "failures" were probably your brain's way of protecting your being. Say thank you and give yourself some real food for thought.
Put it Creatively or Put it Out of Its Misery - To learn more about this author, visit Elizabeth Mullen's Website.
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I’ve heard misery loves company but this is ridiculous.
