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What You Really Want Feeling States

Written by: Elizabeth Mullen

Article Overview: Recently, I sat down with a piece of paper and pen, determined to write my goals in a coherent fashion once and for all. I had been experiencing confusion about my direction and I needed to make a road map, I told myself, and stick to it. I pulled up memories of what I had wanted to achieve at various times in my life, even if I doubted their relevance today.

What You Really Want Feeling States

Recently, I sat down with a piece of paper and pen, determined to write my goals in a coherent fashion once and for all. I had been experiencing confusion about my direction and I needed to make a road map, I told myself, and stick to it. I pulled up memories of what I had wanted to achieve at various times in my life, even if I doubted their relevance today.

But something funny happened. Even though each goal was a worthy--sometimes cherished-- endeavor, each time I wrote one down a strong sense of doubt came over me. Doubt not that I could achieve it, but whether I really wanted to achieve it. I felt overtaken by confusion: hadn't I always wanted this goal, or that goal? Why the doubt? What did it mean?

I am not alone in this puzzling phenomena, as my work has brought to me many capable people who have struggled with the same thing. Just how can one reach a goal s/he has mixed feelings about achieving? What is one supposed to focus on if unsure about where s/he should be going?

Perhaps the answer lies not in tossing the goals out or waiting for new ones, but in looking deeper into the true appeal of your goals. The "why" of your goals. If you don't think you have any goals now, just revisit past goals and look deeper there.

For instance: Just why did you want to run that marathon anyway? Was it simply to cross the tape after 26 miles, or was it for a feeling you believed it would give you? What is that feeling? Be specific. Describe its physical characteristics (i.e. how that feeling state makes you breathe, stand, what you see, hear, what your body feels like, etc.)

How about that earnings goal, or home improvement project? What feelings and sensations are attached to the attainment of each of those goals? Do this 'thought exercize' a few times with each of your goals--- even if you aren't sure if the goals are important to you anymore.

If you are like myself and countless others, by doing this you can find a renewed sense of vigor surrounding what was once swirling doubt. Often the goals themselves will seem less daunting once you give yourself the gift of previewing the "achievement" feelings associated with them. Often a side benefit is the emergence of other ways you can obtain that same feeling state: A.K.A. new goals. Either way, you win the battle with uncertainty and gain in an empowered sense of direction. Practice this frequently and you can win your wildest dreams.

But don't take my word for it, try it yourself and see

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Re: Businesswomen role models on TV: The Cashmere Mafia (?) - [quote="BuzzAroundBooks":3p1jl94i]Hi Barbara, Then can I ask if you know of any tv shows that currently depict men or women in an accurate and relatable manner? Shows that poke fun at stereotypes and cast the best looking people possible (including, if not "especially" all reality shows) usually get the highest ratings. Let's face it, tv is a form of escapism and I'm not sure people actually want to see a "true" mirror image.[/quote:3p1jl94i] None in the States, Buzz, but if you ever see British TV, they're actors are generally more "true to life." Women police officers usually don't wear much makeup (Helen Mirren in Prime Suspect), other female co-stars are rather pudgy (in contrast to the States where the women are always skinny but the guys are allowed to be pudgy), etc.
Re: Fancy a walk Fred? - I took a look at the site... interesting to see that Crocs in the States are called Slogs in England!
Re: your personality type? - Hi Zac, If you're on the fence about 2 and 3, I'd think more about them. Big picture people tend to be oblivious to the detail of what is happening NOW -- the colors on a restaurant wall, the layout of someone's apartment, the color of people's shirts at a party, etc. They instead notice the "theme" -- an upscale restaurant (who knows what color), casual shirts at a party (not sure what style), etc. A "trendy" apartment, but who knows where the bathroom was. Gut feeling people tend to act w/o all the facts, and are comfortable following that instinct. "Thinker" people will choose something even if they HATE it, just because it "makes sense." Where as that makes no sense to a gut person. Thinkers are more "black and white" where as gut instinct feelers are more "gray area" people. But going with your selections... 1. Within 2. Big Picture 3. Gut Feeling 4. Spontaneous The Reflective Seeker of Truth. You are a passionate searcher of big-picture meaning and strive to help others with your empathetic listening skills. Socially, you are usually quiet, but can be a social butterfly when you feel like it, though it can be draining to do so for too long. You have a very silly and goofy side, enjoy people and need time to quietly reflect #1 Strength: Predicting Future Likelihoods #2 Strength: Expressing Social Feeling Predicting Future Likelihoods Predicting what is likely to happen, based on past events, themes, or what has historically been true. Deciding what will happen, based on past events. These predictions are usually spoken with con?dence and certainty. A thread or common idea is drawn from the past, and these ideas are used to decide what will happen in the future. Authorities and past situations are extremely important for deciding what will happen in the future. Expressing Social Feeling Setting an emotional tone, vibrant, energetic, or serious, etc. Concerned with the emotional environment as it?s happening -- the vibe of people at a party, the tone of a situation, other people?s responses. Setting the tone -- dramatic and serious, or lighthearted and a celebration. Emotional displays are important for knowing how others are feeling, whether bad or good. Someone talking in a monotone about feelings seems insincere. Feels should be shown, so they can be read by others. If that is your type, your #1 match would be... The Strong-Willed Go-Getter. You are a bold sculptor of the here-and-now in order to achieve immediate results following a logical system for making decisions. You add a fun, upbeat vibe to social events and are often the most gregarious person in the room. #1 Strength: Commander of Physical Space #2 Strength: Systematic/Rule Logic
Free courses - Sounds great. Of course its in England and I'm in the States.... But this is the kind of course all entrepreneurs culd benefit from...


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