BECOME SUCCESSFUL: CHANGE THE WAY YOU TALK TO YOURSELF!
BECOME SUCCESSFUL: CHANGE THE WAY YOU TALK TO YOURSELF!
Lets look first at the different voices that form part of your inner dialogue. I have several different voices – I believe most people do too. Firstly, there is my voice – the voice that is Me. This is my intuition, body wisdom and spirit. But surprisingly my voice is often drowned out by the other voices. I have the Commentator – a voice that provides a running commentary on what I'm doing in the moment. I have the Critic, the Worrier and the Nag. The Ideas voice pops up sometimes, as does the Music Channel which often picks up the last catchy song on the radio and replays it over-and-over, even if I don't like the song! There are probably more voices, but these are the main voices of my inner dialogue and they have a big influence on how successful I am – or not. Pause for a moment and see if you can identify your voices. 'Who' is 'talking' to you the most just now?
SWITCHING OFF THE VOICES
Your inner dialogue is often responsible for your emotions. How often have you had inner conversations along the lines of: “What have I done? Why-oh-why did I do this?”, or “I'm useless! I'll never get this right!” or “You are so lazy! If you only had got up when the alarm went off, well, then you wouldn't be late and in trouble—again” (Note: sometimes the voices talk as “I” and sometimes as “you”. When the voice uses “you” sometimes it takes on the identity of someone who plays this role in your outer world). When your inner dialogue is criticizing, nagging or worrying, it's difficult to feel good about yourself or hold your head high. When these voices are prominent, it's easy to begin feeling down, out of sorts and even cross or angry with yourself.
A useful tool is to learn how to switch of the voices for awhile to give yourself some inner peace. This is much easier than you might imagine. First of all, welcome your inner dialogue voices – they are looking out for you, and they help keep you safe. Now have a conversation with them – it's not as daft as it sounds – tell them that you love them, yes, even the nag, and that you know they are just doing their job, but for awhile you want to have inner peace. You can reassure them that they can 'pop-up' if they become aware of any danger that they feel you need alerting of, but for while you want some quiet and peace inside. Now imagine in front of you is a large volume control dial. See yourself reaching for this dial, and turn it down, slowly to zero. Inner peace – at last! Try it. It is amazing how powerful this little exercise is, and once you have mastered it, you can have inner peace whenever you want to.
LISTENING TO YOUR 'ME' VOICE
The voice of 'me' is the voice of your body wisdom and intuition. When the other voices are silenced for awhile, you will be able to access this voice and know what is really important to you. How do you know whether the voice you are hearing is your 'me' voice? I think people 'know' this in different ways. For me, when I hear the voice of 'me' there is no doubt or questions around it. It is who I am. It feels so right, even if logically it doesn't make sense, it is my soul's desire. I have learnt that when I pay attention to the voice of 'me' that my decisions are sound and it guides me well. When I ignore it, or when 'me' is overshadowed by my critical or fearful voices – then these are the times when I go off track and into areas that are not serving me well.
BEING GENTLE WITH YOURSELF
Identifying your inner dialogue voices and learning to silence them for periods is great, but know that you are human and from time-to-time we all get into negative self talk. So learn to recognize it and gently coax yourself into a better place with your inner dialogue. Let me give you an example of this:
Imagine that you had a 10 page report that needed to be finished by the end of the day. But long past going-home-time, only 8 pages have been completed. At this point, the vast majority of people beat themselves up. Their critic, worrier and nag will be loud and strident making you feel unworthy, not up to the task, and your self esteem and self worth will be down in the depths. If you allow this continue, how hard will it be to complete the last 2 pages on the following day? And how long will it take you? Probably ages – because your energy levels and enthusiasm will be low.
Now, imagine the same scenario – with a report that is 2 pages short of being finished. And have this inner dialogue: “I needed to have finished that report – and I haven't. Who do I need to let know? How can I get this finished tomorrow in double quick time? I know I have let myself down, but I am going to get this right. I am going to find a better way of doing this” With this self talk, the following day you will finish the report quickly. By acknowledging yourself and other people involved in this, you have stayed in your integrity too.
We all make mistakes. We all also promise things and then sometimes don't deliver. The important lesson is not the mistakes, but how we deal with them. Learning to be gentle with yourself with positive self talk allows you to put things right quickly and move on. Allowing your negative voices to beat yourself up, just prolongs the negative feelings and emotions. So… start talking to yourself in a loving way!
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To receive more coaching tips and/or to receive them monthly by email, please see www.reddandelion.co.uk/tips.php
BECOME SUCCESSFUL CHANGE THE WAY YOU TALK TO YOURSELF - To learn more about this author, visit Jennie Bayliss's Website.
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Most people talk to themselves – not always out loud! – but definitely inside their own head. These conversations with yourself, is known as inner dialogue. Today I would like to 'talk' to you about this type of talking-to-yourself to see how changing what you 'say' can change how you feel and how successful you are.
Lets look first at the different voices that form part of your inner dialogue. I have several different voices – I believe most people do too. Firstly, there is my voice – the voice that is Me. This is my intuition, body wisdom and spirit. But surprisingly my voice is often drowned out by the other voices. I have the Commentator – a voice that provides a running commentary on what I'm doing in the moment. I have the Critic, the Worrier and the Nag. The Ideas voice pops up sometimes, as does the Music Channel which often picks up the last catchy song on the radio and replays it over-and-over, even if I don't like the song! There are probably more voices, but these are the main voices of my inner dialogue and they have a big influence on how successful I am – or not. Pause for a moment and see if you can identify your voices. 'Who' is 'talking' to you the most just now?
SWITCHING OFF THE VOICES
Your inner dialogue is often responsible for your emotions. How often have you had inner conversations along the lines of: “What have I done? Why-oh-why did I do this?”, or “I'm useless! I'll never get this right!” or “You are so lazy! If you only had got up when the alarm went off, well, then you wouldn't be late and in trouble—again” (Note: sometimes the voices talk as “I” and sometimes as “you”. When the voice uses “you” sometimes it takes on the identity of someone who plays this role in your outer world). When your inner dialogue is criticizing, nagging or worrying, it's difficult to feel good about yourself or hold your head high. When these voices are prominent, it's easy to begin feeling down, out of sorts and even cross or angry with yourself.
A useful tool is to learn how to switch of the voices for awhile to give yourself some inner peace. This is much easier than you might imagine. First of all, welcome your inner dialogue voices – they are looking out for you, and they help keep you safe. Now have a conversation with them – it's not as daft as it sounds – tell them that you love them, yes, even the nag, and that you know they are just doing their job, but for awhile you want to have inner peace. You can reassure them that they can 'pop-up' if they become aware of any danger that they feel you need alerting of, but for while you want some quiet and peace inside. Now imagine in front of you is a large volume control dial. See yourself reaching for this dial, and turn it down, slowly to zero. Inner peace – at last! Try it. It is amazing how powerful this little exercise is, and once you have mastered it, you can have inner peace whenever you want to.
LISTENING TO YOUR 'ME' VOICE
The voice of 'me' is the voice of your body wisdom and intuition. When the other voices are silenced for awhile, you will be able to access this voice and know what is really important to you. How do you know whether the voice you are hearing is your 'me' voice? I think people 'know' this in different ways. For me, when I hear the voice of 'me' there is no doubt or questions around it. It is who I am. It feels so right, even if logically it doesn't make sense, it is my soul's desire. I have learnt that when I pay attention to the voice of 'me' that my decisions are sound and it guides me well. When I ignore it, or when 'me' is overshadowed by my critical or fearful voices – then these are the times when I go off track and into areas that are not serving me well.
BEING GENTLE WITH YOURSELF
Identifying your inner dialogue voices and learning to silence them for periods is great, but know that you are human and from time-to-time we all get into negative self talk. So learn to recognize it and gently coax yourself into a better place with your inner dialogue. Let me give you an example of this:
Imagine that you had a 10 page report that needed to be finished by the end of the day. But long past going-home-time, only 8 pages have been completed. At this point, the vast majority of people beat themselves up. Their critic, worrier and nag will be loud and strident making you feel unworthy, not up to the task, and your self esteem and self worth will be down in the depths. If you allow this continue, how hard will it be to complete the last 2 pages on the following day? And how long will it take you? Probably ages – because your energy levels and enthusiasm will be low.
Now, imagine the same scenario – with a report that is 2 pages short of being finished. And have this inner dialogue: “I needed to have finished that report – and I haven't. Who do I need to let know? How can I get this finished tomorrow in double quick time? I know I have let myself down, but I am going to get this right. I am going to find a better way of doing this” With this self talk, the following day you will finish the report quickly. By acknowledging yourself and other people involved in this, you have stayed in your integrity too.
We all make mistakes. We all also promise things and then sometimes don't deliver. The important lesson is not the mistakes, but how we deal with them. Learning to be gentle with yourself with positive self talk allows you to put things right quickly and move on. Allowing your negative voices to beat yourself up, just prolongs the negative feelings and emotions. So… start talking to yourself in a loving way!
-------------------
To receive more coaching tips and/or to receive them monthly by email, please see www.reddandelion.co.uk/tips.php
BECOME SUCCESSFUL CHANGE THE WAY YOU TALK TO YOURSELF - To learn more about this author, visit Jennie Bayliss's Website.
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Anne BarrAnne Barr has over 26 years experience in sales and marketing, six years as a franchisee. She has assisted over 367 business owners and purchasers to achieve their goals in career change, transition and exit strategy. She holds the designation of Certified Franchise Executive from the International Franchise Association, Certified Business Intermediary from the International Business Brokers Association and Board Certified Broker from the Texas Association of Business Brokers. Anne is active in professional organizations, networking groups and volunteers for non-profit entities. As owner/operator of four successful businesses, Anne has proven people skills and enjoys helping clients find the right "fit" in business ownership. Visit www.FranchiseOpportunitySpecialist.com for more information about me and my company. - Visit Anne Barr's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Kim CastleWith nearly two decades in the advertising and design business, with clients like Domino's Pizza, General Motors, Direct TV, Pedigree, Wolfgang Puck, Higher Octave Music, Hollywood Celebrity Products, Disney, and Paramount, as well as thousands of entrepreneurs around the world define, structure, communicate, and position their business for greater profits, BrandU(R) co-creators Kim Castle and W. Vito Montone discovered that entrepreneurs could experience the same power that big brands command for a fraction of the cost with the world's only process-based results-drive Integral approach to business creation. BrandU(R) is helping entrepreneurs grow with the power of extreme clarity from idea...to brand...to market(TM) and helping one million entrepreneurs become successful and whole so that they can make a difference in the world. Are you one of them? If you want to experience clarity all the way to the bank(TM), get started now at http://www.brandu.com. - Visit Kim Castle's Website |
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Jeff FosterWebBizIdeas.com is a Minneapolis website design company founded to help people start an internet business by providing them with website, business, and internet resources that help foster the growth of successful online businesses and develop innovative Internet business ideas. We specialize in internet consulting & internet marketing. - Visit Jeff Foster's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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