Introduction Most people who buy or set up their own business do so because they want to be their own boss and create a better financial future for themselves. Even though some businesses succeed i.e. they are financially viable, this comes at a cost. What started out as a desire to be free to do as one pleases ends up as an all-consuming job that impacts our lives in a major way.
Where the initial intention was to be in control, the business quickly takes control of us and our lives. The most common complaints I have heard from business owners include, but are not limited to, the following:
1. they can’t ‘switch off’ – business issues are always on their mind 2. the number of hours they work in their business 3. having no lifestyle to speak of 4. juggling too many roles in order to manage their business 5. difficulty staying motivated These understandably cause stress and when you are stressed, you cannot effectively run your business – or anything else for that matter. Unfortunately, some of us wait until the costs of continued stress cause all sorts of damage to our health, relationships and lifestyle before we decide to do something about it. Even more tragic is not doing anything at all thereby creating needless suffering that can be altogether avoided.
So what can business owners do to take back control of their lives and their businesses? From my own observations and experience, most successful people follow a system that incorporates two important and paradoxical features:
1. Structure, and 2. Flexibility Ironically, a structure or system is only as useful as it is flexible. No matter what the structure, whether it is a business plan, marketing strategy or your filing system, its strength lies in its ability to be adapted to your circumstances. Trying to stick to the rules no matter what – which, by the way, you made up yourself – is the fastest road to frustration and discontent.
Having flexibility is also about thinking outside the box and keeping an open mind. Michael Gerber, author of ‘The E-Myth’ says in his book that you can’t solve a problem from the same thinking that got you into it. Being able to step back from your business and the structures you have incorporated into your business is imperative if you are going to overcome barriers to improvement.
The ten steps are all about structure and flexibility. They are designed to help you assess where you are now and use that as your launching pad to future success. Just as importantly, the ten steps give you the foundation to get yourself a lifestyle with less stress and more play.
Briefly, the 10 steps are:
1. Know yourself 2. Start at the end 3. What’s missing 4. Get support 5. Set smart goals 6. Write it down 7. Be flexible 8. Take action 9. Have some serious fun 10. Evaluation Some things to keep in mind 1. It doesn’t matter where you start, the important thing is that you do start somewhere. Action is its own motivator, so taking the first step is always the most crucial and the most difficult. Choose something that is do-able and that motivates you.
2. The ten steps are a process that you can adapt to your individual style. They are a guide to help highlight what you are doing and what steps are missing. There is no right or wrong way to proceed. Start to become the creator of your circumstances, not the victim of them.
3. At every step, it is vital that your actions are completely aligned with your thoughts, beliefs, and values. When alignment is missing it can cause frustration, dissatisfaction, lack of motivation, failure to reach goals, frequent change of plan and general lack of enthusiasm. Let’s face it, most of us want to feel happy, satisfied and fulfilled in our professional lives. No amount of money can buy that. If you are interested in moving towards a more rewarding professional life, then aligning yourself with your actions is imperative.
4. Each of the 10 steps is equally important. What you are doing is creating new habits based on a solid foundation. Applying the 10 steps consistently requires vigour, commitment and integrity. If you gloss over parts that seem unimportant or that you are not used to doing, you are only cheating yourself of the life you say you want.
5. If you are to successfully apply the 10 steps to your business – and by the way, they will work equally well in any area of your life – you need to be willing to adopt new ways of thinking and doing. They say that you can’t solve a problem from the same thinking that got you into it. The challenge is to start thinking differently in order to do things differently. The choice is yours.
The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself.
It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.
Orison Swett Marden Let’s now explore the 10 steps in more detail.
Step 1. Know Yourself ‘To reach greater heights, you must reach greater depths’
Knowing yourself is about understanding who you are at your core level. It means knowing your strengths and weaknesses, knowing what makes you tick, what inspires you and being aware of your behaviour at any particular moment.
Having this type of knowledge gives you an edge – the edge to be completely in control and making powerful choices and decisions based on what is right for you. If you constantly make choices based on what others tell you or what you think is an impressive decision without considering what it is YOU want, you can get yourself into all sorts of uncomfortable situations.
Knowing yourself at such an intimate level is the key to your personal success. I have not read one book on success or one biography of successful people that does not demonstrate this point.
Without exception, the richest and most successful people in the world have a relationship with themselves that is both compassionate and powerful. They are acutely aware of how they are feeling, what they are thinking, what they fear and resist. The difference is that they choose to be in control and create their own circumstances rather than allowing the circumstances to control them. They create their own reality.
Self-analysis requires discipline and rigour. A shift in thinking can only happen if you are willing to push through resistance and be open to new ways of seeing and doing things. It’s not about beating yourself up or dwelling on your shortcomings; it’s about building on what you already have.
Putting the test results to work for you The real benefit is when you start to use the new information you’ve gleaned about yourself and apply it to your business and personal life. It’s now time to start asking lots of questions. Here’s a few to get you started:
• What are my priorities in life?
• What do I value most?
• How is my work/business a reflection of me and my values?
• Where is there a mismatch?
• Is there conflict between my work/business and my values/personality?
• What changes do I need to make to bring these closer together?
• What am I willing to do to create a life of alignment?
• What is the cost, and likely outcome, if I change nothing?
• What am I tolerating right now? Why?
• What do I have to do to rid my life of all tolerations?
Realize that this is a process. It takes time and time has a way of changing things, so don’t be too concerned about getting it right – there is no such thing. It’s about bringing about clarity and focus that injects some inspiration and enthusiasm to your life and your business vision.
Some suggested tools
1. The test I use with all my clients is the Enneagram. It is the single most powerful tool I have discovered that has helped my clients understand themselves and others in their lives. When it comes to working with people and forming relationships that work, it is vital to have a deep appreciation of human nature and differing personalities. Business is about people after all.
The internet is a wonderful tool where you can find literally hundreds of tests and questionnaires to help you on this journey. A great site is similarminds.com which has tests for every taste and requirement you may have. A word of warning though: it can be very tempting to become a ‘questionnaire junky’. Be selective; choose tests that you feel are of value to you and fit in with where you are right now. The idea is that you use the results to further your progress in your chosen path to success.
2. Start to get curious about yourself. Write down what you think your strengths and weaknesses are, then ask 10 other people. Write down what you like about yourself and what you think your potential is. If you are really up for a challenge, ask 10 other people who know you what they like about you and what they see as your potential. I guarantee that doing these exercises will change the way you see yourself, others and your life.
3. Find out what your values are and prioritise them. Your personal values don’t have to be the same as your business values. Your business values form the basis of what you want to project to your customers which in turn will drive your marketing message.
4. Write down the compelling reason why you are in business. If it’s not compelling, how are you planning to motivate yourself to do what it takes to have a successful business?
Step 2. Start at the end ‘If you can dream it, you can do it.’
This means to start with your vision: Create a picture of what your business will look like and what you will be doing in your business. This is a crucial step. It takes time – literally, time to dream.
The more detail you can give to your vision, the better. This means catering for all the senses. Paint a picture in your mind – or if you are good at drawing, paint it yourself. Go through magazines, cut out pictures and create a collage. Colour is important. Make it as real as possible for yourself.
Don’t be influenced by logic and what you think is possible or not. Avoid thinking about how you are going to get there, just create a vision. As yourself the following questions:
• What will I be doing?
• How much am I earning?
• What will I be wearing?
• Who am I working with?
• Who are my clients? And how many do I have?
• Where is my business located?
• What is my typical day like, starting from the time I get out of bed to the time I go to sleep at night?
• What car am I driving?
You get the idea.
Before you start to work on anything, it is important to know what outcome you want. Similarly in your business, if you don’t have a clear picture of where you are headed, that’s exactly where you are going – to fuzzy land! Your vision is your destination. When you have that, the next step is getting the map – which is the how you plan to get there.
Once you have created your vision and you have described it in detail, have it somewhere where you can see it everyday. Be as creative as you like. Make a poster, have it as your screen saver or write a paragraph that describes your goal. If you go to all that work and just file it away, don’t expect to stay excited about your vision for long.
The best way to make your vision real for you is to read it out loud to yourself first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Keeping your vision real and alive will make it easier to keep going when things get tough. Remembering why you are doing what you are doing gives meaning and purpose to your actions and helps to keep you motivated and inspired.
Step 3. What’s missing?
‘It’s not what you know, it’s how you use that knowledge.’
In this step, you are taking inventory of yourself and your situation and finding what you need to make the trip toward your vision. You are assessing and seeing the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Ideally, think of this as planning a holiday or building a model aeroplane.
The best way to tackle this is to ask yourself a series of questions. Ask yourself: ‘What do I need that I don’t have right now, that will enable me to get from point A to point B?’ This will give you an overview and then you can ask more specific questions such as:
• Do I need more knowledge?
• Do I need to learn a new skill?
• Do I need to hire another person?
• Do I need to change the colours or rearrange the layout of my place of business?
• Do I need new marketing materials?
• Do I need to conduct some customer research?
• Do I need to train my staff?
To make this more manageable, separate and chunk down the components, much as you would when planning your holiday. Create some lists with different headings and place common items under each. For example, you can have a list of skills you need to learn, people you need to hire, research that needs to be done, or items you need to hire or buy.
The things you need to help you fulfill your vision are things you can learn, buy, hire or find somewhere. It may not even be necessary for you to do everything yourself. Ideally, leverage your time where possible by delegating. This is not an exercise in creating overwhelm but looking at what you need to set your plan in motion.
When you have done this and you can clearly see what is missing, it’s time to prioritise. Too often we look at all the things we need to achieve to reach our destination and feel like throwing in the towel before we even get started. Be realistic: – choose 1 – 3 items from your list and get started on the easiest ones first. It’s easier to do more difficult tasks when you picked up some momentum.
Step 4. Get support ‘No-one can whistle a symphony. It takes an orchestra to play it.’
Let me be clear from the outset: Getting support is a necessary part of attaining your goals; it is not a luxury.
The most successful people on the planet will tell you that they owe their success to a team of people who supported them along the way. Support means different things to different people. Some need more than others. Neither is better or worse – the important thing is that you KNOW what kind of support you need.
Even if you just need to bounce ideas off others, the people you choose to surround yourself with are vital to your success. Support is about surrounding yourself with like-minded people who are ON YOUR SIDE.
How many times have you had a brilliant idea only to be shot down by well-meaning friends and family? How far did you get in implementing this idea with that kind of feedback? Not far, I bet. I am not suggesting you exclude these people from your life; I am recommending that when it comes to creating a vision and setting goals that you consciously choose the people you will be sharing this information with.
This will mean the difference between attaining your goals and just having a wish list. I cannot stress this step enough. Take the time to create your own success team. It can be a team of two or twenty. As a person with a business vision to fulfill, you need to determine quickly who is on your side, and who is just wasting your time.
How you set it up and who is on your support team is up to you. Set up regular times to meet with your group or, at the very least, weekly phone contact. The most important task your support people will do is keep you accountable. This is one of the primary reasons people work with a coach. Choose people who you feel are up to the task and who will be honest with you.
Be very clear about the purpose and intention of your support team and communicate this to each person. Nothing disappoints faster than uncommunicated expectations. Keep it simple and realistic. This exercise is not intended to be a burden for either you or the people you ask to support you.
Your support team is there to see you through good times and bad. If you make it a habit of calling on support only when you are in trouble, but are nowhere to be seen when things are going well, people will tire of you. It is just as important to celebrate with your team as it is to seek advice or to brainstorm ideas.
Where possible, set up reciprocal arrangements, so everyone feels they are getting some value from this whole experience. If there is something you can do for people who offer to support you, do so. The idea is that you create a win-win scenario for all persons involved in the process.
Step 5. Set smart goals ‘Better to get a stiff neck by aiming too high than a hunch back from aiming too low.’
When you are clear about where you want to go, what you want to achieve and what you need to get there, it’s time to set some specific goals. When setting goals, follow the S.M.A.R.T. formula. That is, a goal needs to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-oriented.
1. A goal needs to be specific and answers the who, what, where, and when questions. It is a simple and definitive statement of what you want to achieve. Being specific does not mean having a complicated statement. Actually, the simpler the better. Being able to communicate your goal in a way that others ‘get it’ is what you are after.
Saying that you want to increase sales is not a specific goal. You need to answer specifically how much increase you want to achieve and how you plan to achieve it. By doing this you get a clear picture of the actions steps that need to be taken.
2. A goal needs to be measurable so you know when you have reached it. If your goal is to increase sales by $10k in the next three months, that is measurable. Planning to decrease your working hours by 5 hours a week is also a measurable outcome.
3. A goal needs to be attainable meaning that you can reach it. When setting goals you need to balance stretching yourself with being realistic. Goals that stretch you in some way are good – they keep you motivated. But if you set unrealistic expectations of yourself or others, it can easily backfire.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses plays a vital role in setting attainable goals. These will dictate how you structure your action plan. Again, there is no right or wrong way to go about this, as long as it works for you.
4. A goal needs to be relevant, which is your ‘compelling reason why’ you are doing it. Your goals needs to be relevant to, not only your business, but to you and your life. The easiest goals to achieve are those that are aligned with your values.
5. Finally, a goal needs to be time-limited or, in other words, have a ‘by when’ attached to it. Setting a date for when you will have completed your goal is a very powerful step. It helps to focus your energy to the task at hand and creates a sense of urgency.
The purpose of this process is to break down goals to easy, manageable tasks. There is nothing worse than having a great goal that seems so overwhelming that you don’t know where to start. This system works equally well with short-term and long-term goals. To give yourself the best chance of success, you need to have a best plan of action.
Step 6. Write it down ‘The pen is mightier than the sword.’
Do not underestimate the power of writing something down. There are numerous studies that have been done around the world that demonstrate the sometimes unexplainable power of writing down your dreams and goals. A Harvard University study found that only about 5% of students had any sort of written plan for their life. What was remarkable was that of those 5%, around 95% achieved those goals!
There is a saying, that if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. I say that if you fail to plan and write it down, you plan to fail. Writing down your vision and dreams for the future actually activates your subconscious mind. By writing it down and reading it daily, you start to activate parts of your subconscious mind that help you turn your dreams into reality.
The subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is not. It only goes on what messages you give it. This is not some airy-fairy theory. It has been around for centuries and the most respected scientists, authors and successful people in business talk about programming the subconscious. ( Read Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think and Grow Rich’, Anthony Robbins ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ or Stephen Covey’s ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’)
Have a journal or diary to record your goals, visions and ideas. This action alone will give you clarity and focus. You will begin to notice patterns in behaviours and actions that get you the results you want as well as which ones don’t. Just writing down ideas as they come to you is a catalyst for other new ideas that you can incorporate into your action plan.
Picking up a pen and writing something is one of the most powerful actions you will take. From first draft to final masterpiece, writing down your thoughts, ideas, plans, problems and possible solutions is the key to clarity and focus around your goals. Don’t just keep it in your head where things get crowded and confusing. You need a clear head to take effective action.
Step 7. Be flexible ‘The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.’
Structure is necessary and vital to everything we do. The problem is when we become too rigid and fail to be flexible in our lives that things can get unpleasant and difficult. They say that you have to be able to roll with the punches, although I hope you don’t encounter too many of those!
The key to success is the ability to be flexible and keeping your options open at all times. Yes, you need to create a plan so you can start somewhere, but when you start taking action you still need to stay alert to opportunities around you. Many times we miss potential opportunities because they didn’t fit in with our plans.
You are not being flexible when you doggedly follow your plan even when it plainly is not working for you. There is no point in hitting your head against a brick wall! The whole idea of creating a plan is so that you can move towards a meaningful goal.
Don’t be surprised if your goal changes along the way. Don’t be surprised if, on your journey, you end up somewhere you did not expect either. Life has a funny way of working out like that.
Balancing being flexible with being disciplined may not be as easy as it sounds. It requires a certain amount of awareness, reflection and thought. If you just keep your head down and keep ploughing ahead without stopping to take stock of what is happening, you may be making things a lot harder than they need to be.
Make it a habit to spend a few minutes each day in quiet thought, reflecting on what was achieved during the day. Trust your gut if things don’t feel right and resolve to adjust your course of action appropriately. Use your support team to air your thoughts. Sometimes just by talking you get a lot clearer on what is happening and what needs to be done.
Step 8. Take action ‘The smallest deed achieves more than the grandest intention’
The distinction here is taking action that makes a difference. Most of us are familiar with procrastination; and we can be in action and still be procrastinating. For example, it’s like rearranging your cupboard when you should be writing your proposal: Lots of action, but not appropriate or effective action.
Contrary to what one might think, effective action does not necessarily mean jumping right in. And sometimes it will. Sometimes, being effective means slowing down and considering your actions deliberately; and, at other times, you will need to get over your resistance and just jump right in.
Taking action is also about follow-through. Lots of people are good at starting things, but it takes a certain amount of discipline to see it to completion. This is not to say that you cannot change course midway – as suggested in the step about being flexible – as long as you follow your course to its conclusion. If your action doesn’t give you an end result, how will you assess its effectiveness?
Each action completed successfully is a catalyst for the next action. Think of it like building a wall. Each action you take is like building a wall, brick by brick. You can take many actions simultaneously, just like laying more than one brick at a time, but each action needs to be aligned with the whole plan. If your actions are too erratic (like laying bricks erratically), your plan (the wall) will lack a solid foundation and be in danger of collapsing.
Sometimes the best action to take is no action at all. Being effective is a balance between putting your head down and your feet up. Timing, they say, is everything. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut instinct about whether to slow down or speed up. And to do this effectively, you need to give yourself time to think and feel.
Remember, that you don’t have to do everything yourself. Delegating responsibility to others is powerful in two ways: 1. It frees up your time to do more important things, and 2. It allows others to take ownership and feel they are part of a team. Create that win-win scenario.
Step 9. Have some serious fun ‘We spend too much time reading the menu instead of enjoying the banquet.’
For most business owners, fun is just not on the agenda. Owning and running your own business is a serious undertaking, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun along the way. There are many real advantages to having fun.
People with a positive attitude find problems less challenging because they have a wider perspective on things and they are better able to find solutions. This can only be beneficial for your business, not to mention your life in general. If you focus on the problem only, and all you do is worry, the solution will evade you until you can detach yourself and ‘rise above it’, so to speak.
People who have fun tend to be more creative and have a greater inflow of ideas. It’s no accident that you feel energized and ready to go after an enjoyable holiday or weekend. The operative word here is ‘enjoyable’, that is, where you actually engaged in some activity and had fun. It doesn’t quite work the same way if your mind is still mulling over problems the whole time.
Positive people also tend to be more effective and productive. When you enjoy what you are doing the whole process seems to flow. Not only are you more productive, the people around you increase their productivity as well. Enjoying what you are doing is contagious! Everybody prefers to be around people who are positive and who have a passion for what they do. This goes for your staff and customers as well.
Studies have shown that people who laugh and have a positive outlook get sick less often, heal faster and generally live longer. The number one killer in society today is stress-related disorders. That in itself, is a good enough reason to start including some fun in your day.
Not only is having fun good for the soul it can improve your bottom line results. This is because people are looking for an experience when they shop. You will attract more people when you can give them a fun experience. I’m not talking about acting like a clown; I mean being genuinely interested and light-hearted.
You can’t fake having fun or being interested. People are too clever to fall for that these days. Find something you can be enthusiastic about at work. Create a game around reaching sales targets or organize some fun rewards for your staff and customers. Do this consistently and with a genuine attitude and watch what happens.
If you aren’t having fun, what is the alternative? Life has its ups and downs; there are enough challenges without us trying to create them. Ultimately, it’s your own choice how you want to behave and think. However, suffering is optional. Having fun is not something that is limited to appropriate times and places. Our professional life is such a big part of our life that it begs the question: If you are not having fun in your workplace or business, why are you doing it?
Step 10. Evaluation ‘There is no such thing as failure, there are only results.’
The first step of evaluation is acknowledgment. No matter what the outcome, give yourself, and the other members of your team, a well-deserved pat on the back. If you have any doubt as to the relevance of this, recall how far criticism has got you in life.
Acknowledgment is not false praise or gratuitous flattery. It is a statement of sincere gratitude and recognition of effort. Ideally, this should be done throughout the ten steps, as every step requires effort and action. If you want the key to self-motivation, learn how to acknowledge yourself at every opportunity. If you want to see your business vision come to fruition, learn how to acknowledge each person that has contributed, no matter how small the part.
Recognise that you, and others around you, did the best with what you had and what you knew at the time. Step 10 is as much about celebration as it is about looking toward the future and your next course of action.
Effective evaluation has very little to do with finding fault. If anything, evaluation is like a clinical dissection of the facts: that is, what action was taken, what worked and what didn’t work. As much as possible, keep personal and emotional issues out when you are evaluating a course of action.
The purpose of an evaluation is to obtain feedback so you can learn from your experience. Effective feedback is neutral and facilitates the whole process of learning, whereas constructive criticism is hardly ever constructive. Proper evaluation is about asking pertinent questions, not making sweeping judgment statements about perceived failures.
Make no mistake, the language and phrases you use when evaluating a course of action will influence future actions. Whether the evaluation is for your eyes only or to be shared amongst your team, be mindful of the power of words. It is much harder to bounce back from something you call ‘a miserable failure’ compared to ‘an action that produced this result.’
Evaluation is your most valuable tool is assessing your progress and mapping out future plans. There is no place for personal comments, either about you or others, when evaluating. The basic questions that you should include are:
1. What worked?
2. What didn’t work?
3. What did I learn from each?
4. What can I do differently next time?
Answering these questions honestly, without trying to play things down or pretty them up, will naturally inspire the next course of action.
Conclusion Follow these steps consistently and your dreams and goals will soon become reality. Will you make mistakes? Yes. Will you encounter dead-ends? Yes. Will you meander off course? Definitely. Will you be acting aimlessly or without purpose? Definitely not!
These ten steps are a blue print to your future success. As with all things you do in life, put them to use and then evaluate their success. No matter how perfect a system is in theory, it is useless if you cannot apply it to your situation. And the only way to know whether it works is to do the work!
Resolve to give yourself a fair go in forming the habits required to succeed in business and in life. If, on your journey, you discover better ways to get what you want, go for it. Nothing succeeds better than your own formula for success.
Good luck – and don’t forget to have some serious fun on the way!
Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.
Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.
Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person.
Dr David M. Burns Jenny Mallos is a Certified Professional Coach who works with business owners and professionals who are juggling too many balls in the air. She helps her clients eliminate the obstacles to their personal and professional success – what she affectionately calls ‘kicking the ‘buts’ out of your life’- so they are able to discern and act on what truly matters in their life.
For more information, please visit Jenny’s website www.totaltransformationlifecoaching.com
or contact her to arrange a FREE no-obligation consultation.
Ph: +612 9592 0696 M: +61 (0)404 056 899 E: coachjen@totaltransformationlifecoaching.com
Suggested Reading Here is a list of books you may find useful:
‘The 7 habits of highly effective people’ by Stephen Covey ‘Think and grow rich’ by Napoleon Hill ‘Awaken the giant within’ by Anthony Robbins ‘The E-myth revisited’ by Michael Gerber ‘The one minute millionaire’ by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert G. Allen ‘Be bold’ by Susan Mitchell ‘People skills’ by Robert Bolton ‘The greatest salesman in the world’ by Og Mandino ‘How to win friends and influence people’ by Dale Carnegie ‘How to lose friends and infuriate people’ by Jonar Nader ‘The enneagram: Understanding yourself and the others in your life’ by Helen Palmer ‘Personality plus’ by Florence Littauer ‘The monk who sold his Ferrari’ by Robin S. Sharma ‘The Success Principles’ by Jack Canfield
The 10 Steps to Sanity A Guide for Business Owners and Professionals - To learn more about this author, visit Jenny Mallos's Website.
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