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Tipping the scales.

Written by: Kool Results

Article Overview: How do we maintain a good balance at home and at work? Managing a household is not dissimilar to the way we manage our business. In both situations we need to be recognized as a leader, setting a good example, and providing lots of opportunities for our staff – and our children – to develop and grow. For instance, we have family meetings where we can resolve any conflicts that may arise. In the same way, staff meetings are a chance to air any differences and agree on a way forward. It’s OK not to be involved every step of the way. Let your staff - and your children - have their own space.

Tipping the scales.

How do we maintain a good balance at home and at work?

Managing a household is not dissimilar to the way we manage our business. In both situations we need to be recognized as a leader, setting a good example, and providing lots of opportunities for our staff – and our children – to develop and grow. For instance, we have family meetings where we can resolve any conflicts that may arise. In the same way, staff meetings are a chance to air any differences and agree on a way forward. It’s OK not to be involved every step of the way. Let your staff - and your children - have their own space.

It’s never too late to start! I have two children, and I know that many of my clients are also parents. Daily, I experience the angst of a hormone-ridden teenager. From an early age I encouraged her to take responsibility, and, as a result, there is much less chaos in her life today.

As a toddler, she was happy to pull out toys and puzzles to play with. But instead of clearing up after her, I made it into a game we played together. I showed her how to be responsible for her own actions. Afterwards there was a reward, and lots of positive encouragement. This also required persistence and constant reinforcement on my part to ensure that the messages were consistent.

Today my younger daughter embraces more responsibility. She helps me to unload the dishwasher, and will hang out the washing. It is important to create a schedule of duties, and make sure that it’s adhered to. It might be polishing the school shoes, making a bed, or laying the table.

There is a two-fold benefit. You are teaching your child responsibility, and you are freeing up some of your own time to concentrate in other areas. So when my other daughter stomps off in a sulk, I am able to remain relaxed and I have the time to handle the situation successfully. I don’t argue with her. I ignore the negative behaviour. Instead I focus on positive reinforcement, and resolve the conflict in a calm manner.

Don’t be frightened to draw up boundaries. If your child fails to act responsibly make sure there are consequences, but make sure that they are relevant – no TV for a week or no computer tend to be great incentives for a child to comply! As a parent you do not want to see your child in front of the TV, or on MSN, all weekend. Get them actively involved in family life.

At home, get your children to help out. At work, throw the initiative back on your staff. This will free you up to concentrate on the bigger picture.

By Julianne Kuhlmann
Personal & Leadership Coach
Kool Results
"Putting You First"
Personal & Business Coaching, Leadership Development, Individual Training Programs,Work/life balance, Mentoring & Induction, Organisational performance

Email: info@koolresults.com.au Web: www.koolresults.com.au

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Article Tags: worklife balance



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My reading log - Hi OmnivoreInk, Before starting my business, I read the following books as research: -"The Art of the Start" by Guy Kawasaki -"The AdSense Code" by Joel Comm -"Don't Think Pink" and "Mind Your X's and Y's" by Lisa Johnson And since then I've continued my "research" by reading (in this order): -"Technical Tennis" by Rod Cross -"For One More Day" by Mitch Albom -"The Twits" by Roald Dahl -"Little Black Book of Connections" by Jeffrey Gitomer -"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne -"The Profitable Retailer" by Doug Fleener -"Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell -"Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude" by Jeffrey Gitomer -"The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" by C.S. Lewis -"Little Green Book of Getting Your Way" by Jeffrey Gitomer -"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" by J.K. Rowling And I'm currently reading and am in the process of finishing the following: -"There's No Such Thing as Public Speaking" by Jeanette and Roy Henderson -"The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell -"The Book of Tells" by Peter Collett -"Little Red Book of Sales Answers" by Jeffrey Gitomer -"Chocolates on the Pillow Aren't Enough: Reinventing The Customer Experience" by Jonathan M. Tisch -"The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity" by Julia Cameron -"The Inner Game of Tennis" by Timothy Gallwey
Boosting Confidence - Wow! There has been so much response, it's hard to know where to start responding... I goes to show that confidence is a hot topic! If you’ve ever heard of “Executive’s Disease”, you’ve heard that even the most successful people in business have moments where they feel stressed over something that needs to be done. It sounds so much nicer to call it stress, but stress is strongly linked to FEAR on some level or another. [u:16vd1x1j]We’re all human after all. [/u:16vd1x1j] (Perhaps this is why executives have much higher rates of heart disease. They appear to be 100% confident to everyone else, but they still feel it on some level inside.) Jude, thanks for sharing your journey to great confidence. I can relate to your dog story, by the way. I’m the person my neighbors and friends call when they have a pet problem. When I was working with the Pet Rescue Group, someone called me the Cat Whisperer! :0) I also believe that confidence is tied to self worth and competence. Boosting our self esteem and gaining confidence through experience really does help. The question is, what does a person do to boost her confidence when she comes up against those times where she’s facing big issues that are new to her? For example, if you were going to be on Oprah with millions of people watching you for the very first time, what would you tell yourself to chase away the butterflies that might set in? In a perfect world, we would all be walking around stress free and not have any doubts or fears. However, life is full of challenges, especially as entrepreneurs forging new paths. The key is in finding ways to really boost our courage to forge on when the going gets tricky and unfamiliar. Yes, I believe when we have a strong purpose behind what we do, it gives us confidence to move forward in spite of any misgivings or naysayers. When we add passion to that purpose, we seem unstoppable! It also boosts our confidence to surround ourselves with people who support us in our journey. Of course, we believe we can create a great life and business. They just give us the added benefit when they cheer us on. We are social creatures, after all. I can do well on my own, but I have a coach and am part of a mentor group because I find I accomplish even more with a strong support system. (Coaching isn’t about weakness, it’s about doing everything I can to reach my potential in the best possible way.) Support systems certainly help to keep the scales balanced when we find ourselves around people who don’t understand our vision. We need to lay down very strong boundaries for the people who are not supportive. That’s a whole other discussion. One of our weapons is keeping ourselves convinced of our plan and our purpose, even if someone else is threatened by our success (or plans for success). Sometimes, we can be tempted to make ourselves small around those we love so that it doesn’t cause discord. When we do that, we jeopardize our own integrity and undermine our confidence. This is your life to live and your business to run. It is you who must hold the reigns and you who must succeed at your own life. Let them succeed at their own life. Having said this, I think we must at least examine what they challenge us with to see if there is any truth in what they are saying. The key is in finding out the truth [u:16vd1x1j]before you let it in[/u:16vd1x1j]. Otherwise, something that is simply not true (and may be THEIR issue) could throw you off track. If it is true, you can make the necessary changes and perhaps avoid some huge pitfalls down the road. Beat mentioned the books, Approval Addiction and Battlefield of the Mind. I’ve read quite a bit of them and it’s little wonder they are best sellers because of their subject matter. I’ve heard many people comment on the titles themselves. There’s the old saying, “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.” There’s even a scripture verse on it for those of you who’ve brought that aspect into this thread: “Everything is possible for him who believes.” (Mark 9:23) No wonder true success comes from the inside out. OK, it’s time to stop. I feel like I’ve written a book here! Warm regards, Tami


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