How do we maintain a good balance at home and at work?
Managing a household is not dissimilar to the way we manage our business. In both situations we need to be recognized as a leader, setting a good example, and providing lots of opportunities for our staff – and our children – to develop and grow. For instance, we have family meetings where we can resolve any conflicts that may arise. In the same way, staff meetings are a chance to air any differences and agree on a way forward. It’s OK not to be involved every step of the way. Let your staff - and your children - have their own space.
It’s never too late to start! I have two children, and I know that many of my clients are also parents. Daily, I experience the angst of a hormone-ridden teenager. From an early age I encouraged her to take responsibility, and, as a result, there is much less chaos in her life today.
As a toddler, she was happy to pull out toys and puzzles to play with. But instead of clearing up after her, I made it into a game we played together. I showed her how to be responsible for her own actions. Afterwards there was a reward, and lots of positive encouragement. This also required persistence and constant reinforcement on my part to ensure that the messages were consistent.
Today my younger daughter embraces more responsibility. She helps me to unload the dishwasher, and will hang out the washing. It is important to create a schedule of duties, and make sure that it’s adhered to. It might be polishing the school shoes, making a bed, or laying the table.
There is a two-fold benefit. You are teaching your child responsibility, and you are freeing up some of your own time to concentrate in other areas. So when my other daughter stomps off in a sulk, I am able to remain relaxed and I have the time to handle the situation successfully. I don’t argue with her. I ignore the negative behaviour. Instead I focus on positive reinforcement, and resolve the conflict in a calm manner.
Don’t be frightened to draw up boundaries. If your child fails to act responsibly make sure there are consequences, but make sure that they are relevant – no TV for a week or no computer tend to be great incentives for a child to comply! As a parent you do not want to see your child in front of the TV, or on MSN, all weekend. Get them actively involved in family life.
At home, get your children to help out. At work, throw the initiative back on your staff. This will free you up to concentrate on the bigger picture.
By Julianne Kuhlmann
Personal & Leadership Coach
Kool Results
"Putting You First"
Personal & Business Coaching, Leadership Development, Individual Training Programs,Work/life balance, Mentoring & Induction, Organisational performance
Email: info@koolresults.com.au Web: www.koolresults.com.au
Tipping the scales. - To learn more about this author, visit Julianne Kuhlmann's Website.
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