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Negotiation Success Step Two Do Your Homework

Written by: Kristin Thalheimer

Article Overview: Negotiation is everywhere. We negotiate for new jobs and higher salaries; for cars and homes; with our partners, siblings, and kids. Some negotiations are life changing – careers that move us from one part of the country to another. Other negotiations are less dramatic, but may be more frequent – who will do the chores, or where to take the next vacation.

Negotiation Success Step Two Do Your Homework

Negotiation is everywhere. We negotiate for new jobs and higher salaries; for cars and homes; with our partners, siblings, and kids. Some negotiations are life changing – careers that move us from one part of the country to another. Other negotiations are less dramatic, but may be more frequent – who will do the chores, or where to take the next vacation.

The outcome of a negotiation is often determined before actually sitting down with your negotiation partner. (Remember, it’s a win-win outcome we’re looking for. For a reminder of The First Step to a Successful Negotiation, see www.ourlifebusiness.com/archive.) How then, can we prepare for the best possible outcome? Simple – you’ve got to do your homework.

Your homework will consist of the six questions outlined below. I suggest taking the time to write out the answers. The overarching goal of these questions is to make you so well prepared for the actual negotiation that anything that takes place during your discussion will not be a surprise. Here are the questions to answer:

1. What do you want as a result of this negotiation? Write down as much as you can about what you want from this negotiation. Don’t stop with just the first few things that come to mind. Keep writing. For example, if you are negotiating for a new job, of course you will be listing a salary. But what else is important to you? List it here: vacation time, parking, flexible schedule, room for growth, six-month review, etc. Keep writing.
2. What does your partner want as a result of this negotiation? Repeat step one above, but this time look through the eyes of your negotiating partner. This is harder to do. Use your imagination. Using the same example of a new job, the hiring manager will want someone smart, someone to take the pressure off of him or her, who doesn’t need a lot of hand holding, who gets along with others, etc.
3. Where do these lists overlap? Start to draw connections as to how to create a win-win solution. You will need to keep an open mind because new ideas will always come up later, but begin to see where there are shared interests and common ground.
4. What is your ideal outcome? What would make you ecstatic? For a salary or numbers negotiation, what’s the ideal number?
5. What is your acceptable outcome? What are you willing to agree to? What would be ok – no resentments, no regrets?
6. What is not acceptable? And what would you do if this negotiation failed? What (words or numbers) would make you stand up, smile, and politely say “no thank you”? Then, what’s your back-up plan? Question six is crucial. It has to do with the “power” in the negotiation. Rather than feeling as if you are at the mercy of your negotiating partner, you now know your walk-away point. Most likely you don’t need this job “no matter what.” You can look elsewhere. This can offer great confidence going in to your discussions.

There are other forms of homework that are also important. For example, you will want to find out how much the market will bear for this position (go to salaries.com for some great help on this one). How much does this car, boat, piece of land go for in other equitable settings?

For the life-changing negotiations, doing your homework is a deliberate action that takes time and effort but that could bring tremendous rewards. For the smaller negotiations, simply having the forethought to think about what you really want, and what your partner (or spouse or kids!) really wants will make a negotiation easier, less confrontational, maybe even fun. Now, it’s not just about who will do the chores, or where you’ll go for vacation, but it’s about what both parties find most important and figuring out ways to get there together.


© 2005 Kristin Thalheimer, MBA & Coach

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