The First Step to a Great Negotiation
The First Step to a Great Negotiation
In truth, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, we are more likely to be successful at our negotiation if we drop the “us vs. them” idea altogether. Negotiation has gotten a bad rap and the misperception that one person must lose so that the other can win is the first and worst of the misunderstandings.
The first step to a great negotiation is a radical, mind-altering twist: think of the person you are negotiating with as a partner, not an opponent. Realize that you both come to the table with authentic needs and wishes for a successful outcome. Open your mind to the idea that there is a solution, probably many of them, which would allow both parties to walk away happy.
Radical, yes – difficult, no: Take for instance, the classic example of the salary negotiation. We often think: They are out to get me. They will want to start me at the lowest possible salary (the win-lose approach). In reality, what do most hiring managers want? Answer: a capable person who can help take the pressure off of them. Opening the negotiation from the vantage point that you are a capable person and can fit the needs of your soon-to-be manager will change your mindset as you enter into discussions. Now you can both win.
What if your negotiating partner is stuck in the mindset that it is a win-lose deal? Very often, you can quickly help them change their perspective. Take a leadership role; make a bold statement. Often, one or more of the following will be an option:
• Smile – Offer a warm handshake, sit on the same side of the table.
• Create a welcoming environment – Bring muffins and coffee for an early morning meeting, talk over lunch, find a space (big comfy chairs rather than a conference room) that exudes warmth.
• Tell them – Say sincerely: I know we can find a way to have this work out well for both of us. I’d really like to work together on this.
• Listen to all their concerns – Employ your best listening skills. Any resistance will most likely melt away when you really listen and respond with care.
• Build trust – Take your time. Repeat your wishes for a win-win outcome. Let them understand you really want what’s best for both parties.
Of course it should be mentioned that there are people in the world who are only looking to win so that you might lose. But these people are rare. And, this does not need to change your initial approach. By granting room for a win-win solution, you haven’t given anything away.
Negotiation doesn’t need to be stressful. Negotiation can be a way of discussing continuous possibilities for winning solutions. When you tap into your creativity, not your bag of tricks, you can create a win-win solution that, in the end, will build bridges, not tear them down.
Resources:
Ury, William. Getting Past No: Negotiating Your Way From Confrontation to Cooperation. Bantam, 1993.
© 2005 Kristin Thalheimer, MBA & Coach
The First Step to a Great Negotiation - To learn more about this author, visit Kristin Thalheimer's Website.
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Just the thought of a negotiation makes many of us sit up straighter. We pull back our shoulders and think: I have to be smarter than them. I have to watch out for their tricks! The word is heavily loaded with an “us vs. them” mentality.
In truth, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, we are more likely to be successful at our negotiation if we drop the “us vs. them” idea altogether. Negotiation has gotten a bad rap and the misperception that one person must lose so that the other can win is the first and worst of the misunderstandings.
The first step to a great negotiation is a radical, mind-altering twist: think of the person you are negotiating with as a partner, not an opponent. Realize that you both come to the table with authentic needs and wishes for a successful outcome. Open your mind to the idea that there is a solution, probably many of them, which would allow both parties to walk away happy.
Radical, yes – difficult, no: Take for instance, the classic example of the salary negotiation. We often think: They are out to get me. They will want to start me at the lowest possible salary (the win-lose approach). In reality, what do most hiring managers want? Answer: a capable person who can help take the pressure off of them. Opening the negotiation from the vantage point that you are a capable person and can fit the needs of your soon-to-be manager will change your mindset as you enter into discussions. Now you can both win.
What if your negotiating partner is stuck in the mindset that it is a win-lose deal? Very often, you can quickly help them change their perspective. Take a leadership role; make a bold statement. Often, one or more of the following will be an option:
• Smile – Offer a warm handshake, sit on the same side of the table.
• Create a welcoming environment – Bring muffins and coffee for an early morning meeting, talk over lunch, find a space (big comfy chairs rather than a conference room) that exudes warmth.
• Tell them – Say sincerely: I know we can find a way to have this work out well for both of us. I’d really like to work together on this.
• Listen to all their concerns – Employ your best listening skills. Any resistance will most likely melt away when you really listen and respond with care.
• Build trust – Take your time. Repeat your wishes for a win-win outcome. Let them understand you really want what’s best for both parties.
Of course it should be mentioned that there are people in the world who are only looking to win so that you might lose. But these people are rare. And, this does not need to change your initial approach. By granting room for a win-win solution, you haven’t given anything away.
Negotiation doesn’t need to be stressful. Negotiation can be a way of discussing continuous possibilities for winning solutions. When you tap into your creativity, not your bag of tricks, you can create a win-win solution that, in the end, will build bridges, not tear them down.
Resources:
Ury, William. Getting Past No: Negotiating Your Way From Confrontation to Cooperation. Bantam, 1993.
© 2005 Kristin Thalheimer, MBA & Coach
The First Step to a Great Negotiation - To learn more about this author, visit Kristin Thalheimer's Website.
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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David AchesonDavid Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns. David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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