Its Not Over There

"Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck" - The Dalai Lama "Once I get over there, to the place where the grass is greener, then I will be happy and everything will be better! Then, all of my worries will be gone."



Do you ever find yourself thinking a little like this?



I do. And, within the context of the conversations I've had with my clients over the years, our thoughts turn to this place at one time or another. We find ourselves talking about how much better life would be if we could just get to someplace else. As if someplace else, over there, will bring us the internal happiness we desire. I find that even the most successful, put together, people wish they could have their act together even more.



Be Gentler with Yourself

So, what shapes our perception and level of happiness and satisfaction?



Our human mind is a comparing mind. Our feelings of contentment are strongly influenced by our tendency to compare. We look around and compare ourselves to others, and ask, "Am I as far along as I should be?" "How am I measuring up?" "What am I supposed to be doing to fit in to wherever I think I am supposed to be fitting into?" Or worse, "It looks like I'm ahead of the game, so why am I not as happy as that person?"



Even professional athletes complain bitterly about annual salaries of $1 million or $2 million or more, citing the higher salary of a teammate as justification for their unhappiness. Comparing ourselves to others has become an obsession in our society. And, our need to measure up to something can be downright depressing if we view ourselves as having less.



We really do have comparing minds. We can make ourselves feel better temporarily when we tell ourselves "It could be worse. I'm glad I'm not in as bad of shape as that person." And, we can just as easily make ourselves feel badly when we say "I wish I were a ________, or I wish I had _______."



You Are on Your Way to Something More

Every person on the planet has had the same experience of being here and having a desire to be there. You're always, always going to be on your way to something more—always. And when you relax and accept that, and stop beating up on yourself for not being someplace that you're not (and instead start embracing where you ARE, while keeping your eye on where you're going) life can become really, really fun. In other words, compare less and live more. Right now.



What do you need to do to green things up right here, right now? Is there something in your life that needs tending that you have laid in neglect for a while? Is it time to pick up that passion or hobby again? The one you dropped somewhere along the way in your pursuit of something greater?



Is there a relationship that needs some of your love and attention? The one that you left by the roadside in your pursuit of meeting more exciting, compelling and important people? Is there something you can do to rekindle romance, fun, excitement, and connection in your life right here and now?



What can you do for yourself today? How can you take good care of yourself, no matter where you are?



The grass can be just as green here as anywhere else. Look Down... the grass is green right beneath your feet!



You are right where your are supposed to be There is no where else to be You are on the other side of the rainbow. The pot of gold is here

Its Not Over There - To learn more about this author, visit Christen Murphy Resmo's Website.

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