The surest way enjoy the things that we want in life is to give it away to others. And today, we are talking about what we want in relationships. We all want to make an impression on people, to be heard and to be validated. The surest way to impress other people is to be impressed BY them. For example, if we want others to show interest in us, the surest way to have them be interested is to genuinely show an interest in them. To have others believe in us, we must first show faith, trust, and confidence in them. If we want people to like us, we must like them first...in turn, they will like us.
As Emerson said, "If you want a friend, you must first be a friend".
Let People Know They Are Valuable The number one desire of human beings is to be heard and understood.
More valuable than gold are those close relationships with friends, family and with the people who accept us, understand us and appreciate us for who we are. You also become a valued friend, parent, employee, boss, or colleague when you let the people in your life know that they matter. All you have to do is listen to people. Let them feel heard. Concentrate on hearing what is being said underneath or behind the words. When people feel listened to, they feel valued for their thoughts feelings and opinions. You have let them know that they are important.
Show Acceptance and Acknowledgement Try the simple exercise today of smiling at people when you first meet. I am specifically referring to the people you see every day. Reserve for your friends and family the kindnesses that some of us only give to strangers. This small and simple gesture sets the tone for your conversation thereafter. Smiling and acknowledging someone shows acceptance. Again, acceptance is the first thing we look for when we come into contact with people. If at first people don't feel accepted by you, they will not open up to you or feel they can fully trust you. Take the time to show small gestures of acceptance and open the doors for more meaningful relationships today.
Interesting Insights
The below statistic is something I ran across while developing this topic. It served as a good reminder for me and I thought I would pass it on to all of my wonderful newsletter readers as well.
Studies in humanistic psychology show that:
- 85% of the joy and satisfaction that we enjoy in life comes from happy relationships with other people
- 15% of all of the joy and happiness we experience in life will come from all other sources such as measured achievement and earned success.
This means that 85% of all of the happiness that you will ever experience in your entire life is directly tied to your ability to get along with others.
Three Ways to Develop Superior Human Relations - To learn more about this author, visit Christen Murphy Resmo's Website.
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Christen Murphy Resmo
(Visit Christen's Website)
Christen Murphy is a Professional
Certified Coach and President of BenchMark
Coaching, Inc. who, in over 8 years of
practice has helped hundreds of people
find the life and career path that suits
them best. Professional Coaching can help
you achieve the results you want in your
life quickly, with more support, more fun,
and less stress. For more information on
what personal coaching can do for you,
contact Christen at 303.904.0221
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