Tricky stuff, dealing with difficult people. So we avoid doing it, in the short-term, it's way easier than confrontation. Want some examples of evasiveness?
- Leave it till the end of the day.
- Make sympathetic noises with what other people are experiencing at the hands of the person - but do little.
- Only see what they are very good at and 'park' the rest.
- Promote them out of your team.
- Think it's you, not them!
...etc., etc., etc.
From their point of view, and we know there can be some real stinkers out there, they often don't realise that their behaviour is unacceptable. This is a do-able issue - be brave at first and it will always be with you.
Some have cracked the code and the best at Dealing with Difficult People...
Communicate Well They listen well and let the other party do a lot of the talking. They ask open questions and allowing a lot of space. This is a space for the difficult person.
Act Normally When working with a 'difficult person', those who handle it will treat them very normally. They don't avoid them, nor do they behave differently than they would with anyone else.
Seek to Understand The best exponents of this skill appreciate the 'difficult person's' point of view. They recognise that issues are real to them and honour that.
Behaviour is not Personal They make sure that they treat the issue as unacceptable behaviour, not a 'bad' person. The 'difficult person' does not have a personal issue usually with those who deal with them, they are difficult with everyone!
Understand Fear 'Difficult people' behave the way they do usually out of some sort of fear. Through building a better relationship with them the best at Dealing with Difficult People are able to get closer to the source and hence move towards resolution.
Small Things Sometimes they are able to find simple and easy clues to what is irritating the 'difficult person'. And then they fairly and reasonably fix the problems - they are even able sometimes to create a champion out of a 'difficult person'!.
Build Trust Those best at Dealing with Difficult People develop a sense of trust with their 'difficult person'. Often the behaviour of others will have tainted their experiences and cause serious mistrust. This can be changed.
Find a Solution When you are very capable of Dealing with Difficult People it is sometimes the simple acts which have the most effect. Just asking them what it is they want can often be an easy solution. It's just that no-one ever asked before!
Help Them And often all these difficult people want is to be loved, to feel wanted, to be a part of the team again. It's a natural emotion which works in the favour of those exponents who do a great job here. They know that emotional buy-in is a great way forward.
Recognise Qualities Every employee is a valuable asset, whatever they are like. Sometimes the most irritating and vociferous are the best to have on the team - they are energised.
And the very, very best in Dealing with Difficult People are able to turn their people around and enlist them as a strong advocate of their organisation. Instead of fighting inside they take on the competition!
The first step, trust me, is the worst!
Martin Haworth is a business and management coach and trainer, working with a range of clients from corporates to individuals worldwide. www.MartinHaworth.com
Ten Key Facts About Dealing With Difficult People You Must Know - To learn more about this author, visit Martin Haworth's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
|
|
|
![[Get Copyright Permissions]](http://license.icopyright.net/images/icopy-w.gif){kind=small}
