There are some key points to make when you are dealing with people who, for one reason or another, seem to be difficult, so get ready - it's you that has to change your own behaviors. So, here are a few clues to move you 95% of the way!
Build Relationships
Just talk to people. Listen to people. Spend time with them and show that you truly care.
Focus on Outcomes
Bottom line - you have a business to run - you have goals and visions for your business. Whilst you are working towards these you are able to take really objective positions. Working in tandem with a 'difficult person' is challenging, but focus on where you are going, not the personal issues you face.
See Value
Recognising the potential of 'difficult people' is half the battle. They are a value and flicking the switch that truly turns them on is a worthwhile challenge.
Meet Regularly
For an ongoing issue, make sure that you show and keep your commitments to them. This builds trust and that, in turn, makes resolution a whole lot easier.
Be Honest and Open
It is no good trying to resolve issues when Dealing with Difficult People, if you are going to either renege on your agreements or fall down on your business targets. Now is the time to be frank and honest and get a stake in the ground.
These people have been lied to enough. Be really clear on your expectations and stick to them. Change their view on authority forever!
Deliver
If you can go some way to help them resolve the cause of their anger, and it fits with everything you and your business stands for, then do it - and do it fast. Whatever you promise, deliver on. Liaise with them in good time.
Overdeliver on pace and issues, where you can. You will be amazed at what a difference this makes. Wanna become a hero? This works!
Respect Them
These people are real human beings. They hurt just like you do. They are, it's true, showing some tricky behaviours - so help them with them. Make a difference to that person - you could be changing their life in a way you would never have thought possible. Have some fun even. Share a laugh maybe?
Find a Win-Win
Solutions when Dealing with Difficult People are not cop-outs on either side. A compromise means that someone is losing here. Find a common position and seek to meet half way without losing site of what is the most important to each of you.
There is usually a win-win out there. If not, it's time to find a solution that removes them from your business.
Stick to the Point
Be clear where you are going with your challenges. It is vital to have everything in place with the most difficult of 'difficult people'. It is also of great value to have a majority on your side, albeit subtly to avoid an apparent 'ganging up'. Play this game from a position of strength
Focus on Behaviours
There are often ways of highlighting a 'difficult persons' qualities. Usually when Dealing with Difficult People you'll find they do have them! In many ways these people stick around because they like bits of the role, but not others, so you can play on their capabilities and leverage them.
Treat them not as a difficult employee, more as a misunderstood and valuable person and work on their behaviours. Remember though, that you have to work on your own first!
Martin Haworth is a business and management coach and trainer, working with a range of clients from corporates to individuals worldwide. www.MartinHaworth.com
Ten Ways To Be Better At Dealing With Difficult People - To learn more about this author, visit Martin Haworth's Website.
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