Introvert Myth - Are Introverts Aloof Or Something Better?

If you're an introvert you may be accused of being aloof, snobby, stuck-up, rude or seeming disinterested. Years ago this would happen to me and I believed it. All I could do, without the understanding I have now, is apologize. Today, I would be able to take the accusation and explain it.

There's a dictionary definition of aloof that includes an example of using the word which says it all: "Because of his shyness, [or you can put introversion here] he had the reputation of being aloof." Most introverts think things through - more often and for a longer period of time. This aloof label is an evaluation that people make because of the outward appearance of something happening that really is different. Marti Laney, in The Introvert Advantage, says it best:

"Introverts are thoughtful, imaginative, tend to work independently and think outside the box. Introverts are keen observers and sensitive listeners. Introverts prefer to be involved intimately with one person and are often drawn to life's spiritual side. Introverts are not antisocial, shy, or aloof."

What appears on the outside is a misperception.

People see what it is only on the outside and misinterpret the contemplation and quietness for - aloof. The truth is, as introverts, often when we appear disinterested, inside us is that quiet or contemplative and what one of my colleagues once called, a noodling around. Before introverts speak up and contribute to a conversation the aloof or disinterested appearance is nothing further from the truth.

How can an introvert be contemplative and also appear more friendly?

The easiest way that someone reminded me of is to smile. If you smile and maintain easy eye contact it will communicate a positive interest. Maybe you're an extrovert who might think - "Wonder why Pat is so indifferent with this discussion?" Well, check in with that Pat rather than mind-read. Then you'll know, "I'm just thinking this through," is the real situation.

Introverts often get a bad rap, and told we need to change. Actually we are quite a perfect balance to the extroverts. Now you have the truth behind the aloof misconception.