“Why are you so quiet?” “Don’t you have anything you want to say?” “Do you have anything you want to contribute to the conversation?” Questions that can often put an introvert on the defensive. And when it comes from a socializing extrovert it can sound like we just committed the faux pas of a lifetime.
===Unless I know a subject well, I take time to reflect before I speak.===
I am married to an extreme introvert for just over 35 years. He has admitted to me that some times, when discussing something for the first time, he just speaks what’s on his mind. He doesn't reflect about how what he wants to say will affect who he is speaking with, or even what he wants to say. In particular, these are times that he might be confronting a situation with one of his employees. I asked him; doesn’t he even pause momentarily to collect his thoughts in some way? The answer over the years is always, “I wish I did!” He is an experienced professional in his field so of course he does know his “subject well,” and can speak unhesitatingly and correctly in this context.
In general, introverts, tend towards contributing to conversations with well thought out and even innovative ideas. When we appear aloof or withdrawn, our head is actually in a sandbox of sorts. We take in the information, the surroundings, the activities and process it. The sand sculpture we build is quite near the architectural blueprint as you can find. On the playground, after all, we gain our energy from the sandbox of thinking and planning.
The extroverts are in their own sandbox. They may end up building and rebuilding and building again the same castle. If the extrovert had a blueprint, you might see the artist’s rendition is not quite what the sandbox castle builder created – and the sandbox player might even profess that.
As I think about this trait, it works in building self-confidence and self-esteem is to be clearly understood. People hear us as articulate when we do open our mouth. Taking time to reflect is helpful is many situations, particularly sales and business situations when you quite often are not given a second chance.
Notice how good it feels the next time you take time to contemplate what you want to say. This is an energy-giving trait for us. And it can astound people with the depth, creativity and even humor of our addition to a conversation.
Want to know if you are more introverted than not? Assess your degree of introversion at http://tinyurl.com/fhrev
Truths for Introverts Who Sell: What We Don’t Need To Learn The Extroverted Hard Way – Part Six - To learn more about this author, visit Patricia Weber's Website.
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Leanne Hoagland-Smith
Are your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales success or one of the many who have failed to change? So what are you doing to change those results? Let’s be honest, with companies moving globally and at lightening speeds, the traditional business solutions are outdated and dead. My approach moves your business out of its comfort zone and secures your competitive advantage now. If you are seeking to increase sales, build customer loyalty, create a culture of great attitudes or just achieve some sleep filled nights, then we should talk because my clients have experienced exactly those types of results. Learn more about customer loyalty at http://www.processspecialist.com/customer-loyalty.htm Give me a call at 219.759.5601 for a free strategy session. P.S. If you are seeking a motivational speaker, sales trainer or small business expert that will leave your audience smiling and remembering, please feel free to contact me at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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America's #1 Sales Coach for Introverts, Shy and Reluctant - Being in sales for 30 years, and having success after success as an introvert may not be the norm. I'm here to encourage other introverts to succeed in sales!
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