Do You Pretend To Listen To People?
Do You Pretend To Listen To People?
This question was not posed from a course but through our post-course email support service.
If you don't know what that is, we offer all of our delegates unlimited access to their trainer
through email and telephone after their course.
So whilst they are implementing what they have learned if they have got any questions or need specific advice for a particular situation all they need to do is pick up the phone or drop us
an email and we will give them personal guidance - neat hey?
Ok, on with the show - here is the email I received:
"Hi Sean,
Thanks for a wonderful course. I never knew that learning could be such fun and your enthusiasm
and energy has really left an impression on the group.
I really enjoyed those active listening exercises that we completed on the course as this is an
area I feel really difficult to master. I know it's only been 5 days since the course but I feel
I am getting better at it as I am implementing the technique that you covered.
Have you got a short, sharp model that I can easily remember that I can take into EVERY situation when I need to actively listen?
Thanks again Sean
What you do is just great
David"
Well, apart from sending David some money for the glowing comments he made, here is the reply that I sent to him!
"Hi David,
Your twenty pound note is in the post for your kind comments!
You did a great job on the second exercise when you went into it with the mindset of "Active" listening rather then "Passive" listening.
Ok, let me give you a whistle stop technique that you can use to become a better listener.
It's called R.A.S.E
R = Respond to the content
A = Acknowledge the feelings of what is being said
S = Show your understanding
E = Encourage further information
Let me give you an example:
RESPOND TO THE CONTENT
This is another term for reflecting back what they have said in your own terms. By doing this it demonstrates your own understanding and if you know you have to do this it really makes you listen believe me!
This is also called "paraphrasing" David. There is a section on paraphrasing in your course manual page 67.
So, if the person says:
"You can cut the atmosphere with a knife at work"
You could reply with:
"So, there are some serious going's on then with people"
This response shows the speaker that you have understood what they have said.
Then.....
ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEELINGS
So you change your focus to acknowledge what the person must be feeling:
"It sounds as though you are feeling uncomfortable about what is currently going on within your office"
Then...
SHOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND
Make your understanding real and legitimate even if you do not agree with them yourself. Remember, you are taking the speakers point of view into account and appreciate that.
"If I was in your situation I would feel uncomfortable too. I can see that you do not like this type of atmosphere in the air at work"
Then...
ENCOURAGE FURTHER INFORMATION
The final step in RASE is to encourage further discussion by asking an open ended question.
"So, tell me - what exactly is going on there?"
In Summary:
I hope that you find that model useful David.
That does not mean that you use it everytime as people will tend to see straight through it if
you do.
Add it to your toolbox of skills and use it whenever you need it.
Do You Pretend To Listen To People - To learn more about this author, visit Sean McPheat's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
I got asked a really good question a couple of days ago by a delegate that finds it difficult to listen to others.
This question was not posed from a course but through our post-course email support service.
If you don't know what that is, we offer all of our delegates unlimited access to their trainer
through email and telephone after their course.
So whilst they are implementing what they have learned if they have got any questions or need specific advice for a particular situation all they need to do is pick up the phone or drop us
an email and we will give them personal guidance - neat hey?
Ok, on with the show - here is the email I received:
"Hi Sean,
Thanks for a wonderful course. I never knew that learning could be such fun and your enthusiasm
and energy has really left an impression on the group.
I really enjoyed those active listening exercises that we completed on the course as this is an
area I feel really difficult to master. I know it's only been 5 days since the course but I feel
I am getting better at it as I am implementing the technique that you covered.
Have you got a short, sharp model that I can easily remember that I can take into EVERY situation when I need to actively listen?
Thanks again Sean
What you do is just great
David"
Well, apart from sending David some money for the glowing comments he made, here is the reply that I sent to him!
"Hi David,
Your twenty pound note is in the post for your kind comments!
You did a great job on the second exercise when you went into it with the mindset of "Active" listening rather then "Passive" listening.
Ok, let me give you a whistle stop technique that you can use to become a better listener.
It's called R.A.S.E
R = Respond to the content
A = Acknowledge the feelings of what is being said
S = Show your understanding
E = Encourage further information
Let me give you an example:
RESPOND TO THE CONTENT
This is another term for reflecting back what they have said in your own terms. By doing this it demonstrates your own understanding and if you know you have to do this it really makes you listen believe me!
This is also called "paraphrasing" David. There is a section on paraphrasing in your course manual page 67.
So, if the person says:
"You can cut the atmosphere with a knife at work"
You could reply with:
"So, there are some serious going's on then with people"
This response shows the speaker that you have understood what they have said.
Then.....
ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEELINGS
So you change your focus to acknowledge what the person must be feeling:
"It sounds as though you are feeling uncomfortable about what is currently going on within your office"
Then...
SHOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND
Make your understanding real and legitimate even if you do not agree with them yourself. Remember, you are taking the speakers point of view into account and appreciate that.
"If I was in your situation I would feel uncomfortable too. I can see that you do not like this type of atmosphere in the air at work"
Then...
ENCOURAGE FURTHER INFORMATION
The final step in RASE is to encourage further discussion by asking an open ended question.
"So, tell me - what exactly is going on there?"
In Summary:
I hope that you find that model useful David.
That does not mean that you use it everytime as people will tend to see straight through it if
you do.
Add it to your toolbox of skills and use it whenever you need it.
Do You Pretend To Listen To People - To learn more about this author, visit Sean McPheat's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
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Anne BarrAnne Barr has over 26 years experience in sales and marketing, six years as a franchisee. She has assisted over 367 business owners and purchasers to achieve their goals in career change, transition and exit strategy. She holds the designation of Certified Franchise Executive from the International Franchise Association, Certified Business Intermediary from the International Business Brokers Association and Board Certified Broker from the Texas Association of Business Brokers. Anne is active in professional organizations, networking groups and volunteers for non-profit entities. As owner/operator of four successful businesses, Anne has proven people skills and enjoys helping clients find the right "fit" in business ownership. Visit www.FranchiseOpportunitySpecialist.com for more information about me and my company. - Visit Anne Barr's Website |
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Jeff FosterWebBizIdeas.com is a Minneapolis website design company founded to help people start an internet business by providing them with website, business, and internet resources that help foster the growth of successful online businesses and develop innovative Internet business ideas. We specialize in internet consulting & internet marketing. - Visit Jeff Foster's Website |
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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