Imaging Whats Inside the Box
Imaging Whats Inside the Box
We are caught up in our own feelings and emotions attached to outcomes; we don’t see above all of our own junk and detach enough to see how we benefit from situations even when it doesn’t seem like we do.
Here is a perfect example of that. I was asked to give a talk to 86 women at a social lunch. I was told to keep it light and funny with some exercises. I questioned my contact asking her if she had a backup speaker because my talks are not really “light”. She said, “Oh, you’ll be fine, they’ll love you- but don’t do any partner exercises”.
I was preparing for my pitch with a few main points, a funny story about my mom, breathing exercises, forgiveness exercise and a couple of other things. I was expecting the group to laugh a lot, love the talk and ask for more information. I was hoping for referrals of other groups to contact to speak. I was very excited and looking forward to the lunch. These were my expectations of what was inside my box.
With confidence, I approached the podium and began with a story about my mom. The audience did laugh at the appropriate time, so I was off to a good start. As I was discussing removing fears and what may feel like uncomfortable stuff, I began to hear people talking. I realized people began engaging in their own personal conversations. Oh, my god, I thought to myself, how rude, I couldn’t believe they’re talking while I’m presenting to them. My confidence is beginning to shake a bit. The energy shifted in the room. Oh no, I need to change the energy I thought. I remained on course and spoke my truth, and showed up as me. I didn’t sugar coat the speech. I received a round of applause and when I asked if anyone had questions, only one person raised their hand and asked me for my website address. Two people came up to me after and said they were going to sign up for my workshop. As my event contact handing payment, I sensed she was uncomfortable.
As I was walking away to begin my uncomfortable exit, another woman approached me from the back of the room; she looked right at me and said you are a brave woman. I thought, ok, brave-hum, that wasn’t exactly what I was expected, I wonder why I’m brave…she went on to say, “She had to leave the room during most of my beginning of the talk because she lost her daughter a year and a half ago and she’s been feeling all of her tender emotions again lately.” I said to her, my mom left five and a half years ago. She said she’s going through a rough time. She said that’s she’s great mingling and walking around, but she can’t sit and be still. I asked her if she thought she was avoiding her uncomfortable feelings, running away from her pain and discomfort. She looked right at me and said yes. I told her don’t run from them, face them and feel them so they can leave and they won’t chase you wherever you go. I told her she could call me any time to talk. She thanked me. I never could have helped this woman if I changed my speech; sugar coated it to avoid anyone from feeling.
But, I wanted validation! I wanted the audience to love me and applaud with happiness!
I wanted them to have big warm smiles on their faces.
I was disappointed during my ride home.
What was really inside the box?
After meditating, I detached from the situation and visualized myself as the observer. I asked myself as an observer, “How did these people benefit?”
I realized many people run away from pain, from sensitive issues, from fear, from conflict and don’t want to look at their stuff. My talk asked them to go inside and feel. Most people are avoiding feelings, avoiding anything that is troubling them.
Feeling is a good thing!
But, I know I was meant to help that one woman who came up to me who recently lost her daughter. Luckily, I trusted myself to tell the story about my mom and follow through with the rest of my presentation regardless of the chatter in the room. The people who were chattering were running too. They didn’t want to feel. The chatter wasn’t personally against me. They didn’t want to allow in what they have been avoiding. People live looking for distracters. When we don’t want to deal with things we shut down, turn off, run, keep busy, play loud music, drink, take drugs, party, travel and keep moving. Sugar coating the presentation would not benefited anyone.
We can’t force people to learn, grow, take responsibility, and face stuff. Everyone has their own life path to live; we must love each person just the way they are and not expect others to be different. Their divine path is in perfect order. A person may or may not ever come around and deal with particular life issues.
We all have expectations, and when our expectations are not what we had imagined, we can become disappointed. It’s time to take a step back, remove yourself from the situation like a third party and ask yourself, “What is the real truth in the situation”? Try to stay open to what could be inside your box on a deeper level.
Imaging Whats Inside the Box - To learn more about this author, visit Laurie Martin's Website.
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There is so much more going on in life than we even realize --usually a much bigger picture to meaning behind specific situations and why they occur. The bigger picture is how we affect one another. How we actually heal from certain situations even though it may not feel like it at the time. How we trust ourselves and follow guidance. How the universe uses us to help humanity. Sometimes we don’t even realize the impact of situations on many levels.
We are caught up in our own feelings and emotions attached to outcomes; we don’t see above all of our own junk and detach enough to see how we benefit from situations even when it doesn’t seem like we do.
Here is a perfect example of that. I was asked to give a talk to 86 women at a social lunch. I was told to keep it light and funny with some exercises. I questioned my contact asking her if she had a backup speaker because my talks are not really “light”. She said, “Oh, you’ll be fine, they’ll love you- but don’t do any partner exercises”.
I was preparing for my pitch with a few main points, a funny story about my mom, breathing exercises, forgiveness exercise and a couple of other things. I was expecting the group to laugh a lot, love the talk and ask for more information. I was hoping for referrals of other groups to contact to speak. I was very excited and looking forward to the lunch. These were my expectations of what was inside my box.
With confidence, I approached the podium and began with a story about my mom. The audience did laugh at the appropriate time, so I was off to a good start. As I was discussing removing fears and what may feel like uncomfortable stuff, I began to hear people talking. I realized people began engaging in their own personal conversations. Oh, my god, I thought to myself, how rude, I couldn’t believe they’re talking while I’m presenting to them. My confidence is beginning to shake a bit. The energy shifted in the room. Oh no, I need to change the energy I thought. I remained on course and spoke my truth, and showed up as me. I didn’t sugar coat the speech. I received a round of applause and when I asked if anyone had questions, only one person raised their hand and asked me for my website address. Two people came up to me after and said they were going to sign up for my workshop. As my event contact handing payment, I sensed she was uncomfortable.
As I was walking away to begin my uncomfortable exit, another woman approached me from the back of the room; she looked right at me and said you are a brave woman. I thought, ok, brave-hum, that wasn’t exactly what I was expected, I wonder why I’m brave…she went on to say, “She had to leave the room during most of my beginning of the talk because she lost her daughter a year and a half ago and she’s been feeling all of her tender emotions again lately.” I said to her, my mom left five and a half years ago. She said she’s going through a rough time. She said that’s she’s great mingling and walking around, but she can’t sit and be still. I asked her if she thought she was avoiding her uncomfortable feelings, running away from her pain and discomfort. She looked right at me and said yes. I told her don’t run from them, face them and feel them so they can leave and they won’t chase you wherever you go. I told her she could call me any time to talk. She thanked me. I never could have helped this woman if I changed my speech; sugar coated it to avoid anyone from feeling.
But, I wanted validation! I wanted the audience to love me and applaud with happiness!
I wanted them to have big warm smiles on their faces.
I was disappointed during my ride home.
What was really inside the box?
After meditating, I detached from the situation and visualized myself as the observer. I asked myself as an observer, “How did these people benefit?”
I realized many people run away from pain, from sensitive issues, from fear, from conflict and don’t want to look at their stuff. My talk asked them to go inside and feel. Most people are avoiding feelings, avoiding anything that is troubling them.
Feeling is a good thing!
But, I know I was meant to help that one woman who came up to me who recently lost her daughter. Luckily, I trusted myself to tell the story about my mom and follow through with the rest of my presentation regardless of the chatter in the room. The people who were chattering were running too. They didn’t want to feel. The chatter wasn’t personally against me. They didn’t want to allow in what they have been avoiding. People live looking for distracters. When we don’t want to deal with things we shut down, turn off, run, keep busy, play loud music, drink, take drugs, party, travel and keep moving. Sugar coating the presentation would not benefited anyone.
We can’t force people to learn, grow, take responsibility, and face stuff. Everyone has their own life path to live; we must love each person just the way they are and not expect others to be different. Their divine path is in perfect order. A person may or may not ever come around and deal with particular life issues.
We all have expectations, and when our expectations are not what we had imagined, we can become disappointed. It’s time to take a step back, remove yourself from the situation like a third party and ask yourself, “What is the real truth in the situation”? Try to stay open to what could be inside your box on a deeper level.
Imaging Whats Inside the Box - To learn more about this author, visit Laurie Martin's Website.
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