Living in the moment
Living in the moment
If we are still angry, bitter, and sad about childhood, still blaming our parents, spouse, or boyfriend, and holding onto past memories---we are giving our power away to them. We are allowing them to control our feelings. It’s time to take our power back. When we blame others for our feelings, sorrows, life predicaments, then we are giving our power away and we become a victim. And, our energy is being held back living in the past.
I had a client who has been divorced for several years from her husband, but was still carrying the anger and blame towards him. She blames him for his infidelity; she blames him for ruining her life. She blames him for being a bad father, for being selfish, for not paying alimony on time. The list goes on and on. She cried when speaking about him.
I asked her, isn’t it time you place down all this anger?” She said, oh yes, my friends and family are so tired of hearing me discussing this. Until she placed down this anger, she was trapped inside the emotions from her past. The emotions were spinning inside a tornado of energy. This adds undo stress on the body. Freedom to live in the present comes from forgiving, letting go of the past, of the hurt and blame so you are FREE TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT. She asked me, “How do I do that?” I asked her, how is it serving you now in your life to be so angry for something that happened four years ago? I told her it must serve her in someway or she wouldn’t be doing it. I asked her if she liked the sympathy she was getting. She told me she isn’t getting any more sympathy and is really ready to drop it. I asked her what gifts or lessons did she learn from this experience. She said she was proud she raised her three kids by herself. I told her that is an amazing feat! She went on to say they are really good kids and she never thought she would be able to do that. She said she was a much stronger person now, more self reliant, and never thought she would have the courage to do what she did. I asked her to write a story and focus on all of the ways she grew as a person. I told her we would work together and she will be able to forgive and become empowered to stand in her own shoes and not be effected by her ex-husband’s charades. After a few months, she was doing so much better. She was able to go back to her full time job, where her clients loved her and she spoke much less about her x-husband and she was depression free!
When we are truly living in the moment we are not worried or anxious about anything. Why would we be? We are not even thinking about how to get to the future. We set our goals and intentions, trust, let them go and move in the direction of our desired outcome. We are not attached to the outcome. If things don’t occur to our exact specifications, we stay open to a bigger plan. While we are living our life, we are focused on the task at hand--breathing, believing, loving and appreciating. Giving our attention fully to everything in every moment.
Make everything an act of love, make every moment an act of love, and discover the gift in every moment of your life! Full engagement is an opportunity to be completely focused and immersed in the present, managing your energy. Professional athletes understand this kind of focus, in the book, The Power of Full Engagement, it states, “Performance, health and happiness are grounded in the skillful management of energy.” Embrace your life now. Every person you come into contact with deserves your full attention, every task, everything including rest. Resting is an opportunity for you to renew your energy. Allow yourself time to rest your mind and body. This will help with your focus, clarity and balance your energy.
We put conditions and huge expectations on ourselves, and then beat ourselves up for not “getting there” soon enough. This is self-defeating behavior. Where is “There”? What are we chasing? Why don’t we stop and accept ourselves right now in this moment and enjoy our journey? The journey doesn’t end, we are always trying to get somewhere, to be enough, and when we reach where we intended to be, we aren’t even at peace, and we are running to be somewhere else. Our journey is more important than our destination.
Have you ever enjoyed being there? Enjoy each moment, celebrate it, and stay focused on the task at hand. Why do we think we will be better or happier when we have this degree or that certification, or get married, more to a new city, get a raise, have a new house or car, more friends? This is attaching feelings to things and people. Love and accept yourself now. We only have this moment. So take a deep breath, there is nothing to chase, nowhere to go.
Enjoy the journey, have fun in the process of life.
Living in the moment - To learn more about this author, visit Laurie Martin's Website.
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Living in the moment is just that, being present with all of our senses in that present time. We are not thinking about what we need to get done for the future. And, we are not thinking about the past. We are not concerned with anything but that actual moment we’re in. We can’t be joyful if we are constantly living our pains of the past or worrying about chasing the future because we are too focused on what could happen.
If we are still angry, bitter, and sad about childhood, still blaming our parents, spouse, or boyfriend, and holding onto past memories---we are giving our power away to them. We are allowing them to control our feelings. It’s time to take our power back. When we blame others for our feelings, sorrows, life predicaments, then we are giving our power away and we become a victim. And, our energy is being held back living in the past.
I had a client who has been divorced for several years from her husband, but was still carrying the anger and blame towards him. She blames him for his infidelity; she blames him for ruining her life. She blames him for being a bad father, for being selfish, for not paying alimony on time. The list goes on and on. She cried when speaking about him.
I asked her, isn’t it time you place down all this anger?” She said, oh yes, my friends and family are so tired of hearing me discussing this. Until she placed down this anger, she was trapped inside the emotions from her past. The emotions were spinning inside a tornado of energy. This adds undo stress on the body. Freedom to live in the present comes from forgiving, letting go of the past, of the hurt and blame so you are FREE TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT. She asked me, “How do I do that?” I asked her, how is it serving you now in your life to be so angry for something that happened four years ago? I told her it must serve her in someway or she wouldn’t be doing it. I asked her if she liked the sympathy she was getting. She told me she isn’t getting any more sympathy and is really ready to drop it. I asked her what gifts or lessons did she learn from this experience. She said she was proud she raised her three kids by herself. I told her that is an amazing feat! She went on to say they are really good kids and she never thought she would be able to do that. She said she was a much stronger person now, more self reliant, and never thought she would have the courage to do what she did. I asked her to write a story and focus on all of the ways she grew as a person. I told her we would work together and she will be able to forgive and become empowered to stand in her own shoes and not be effected by her ex-husband’s charades. After a few months, she was doing so much better. She was able to go back to her full time job, where her clients loved her and she spoke much less about her x-husband and she was depression free!
When we are truly living in the moment we are not worried or anxious about anything. Why would we be? We are not even thinking about how to get to the future. We set our goals and intentions, trust, let them go and move in the direction of our desired outcome. We are not attached to the outcome. If things don’t occur to our exact specifications, we stay open to a bigger plan. While we are living our life, we are focused on the task at hand--breathing, believing, loving and appreciating. Giving our attention fully to everything in every moment.
Make everything an act of love, make every moment an act of love, and discover the gift in every moment of your life! Full engagement is an opportunity to be completely focused and immersed in the present, managing your energy. Professional athletes understand this kind of focus, in the book, The Power of Full Engagement, it states, “Performance, health and happiness are grounded in the skillful management of energy.” Embrace your life now. Every person you come into contact with deserves your full attention, every task, everything including rest. Resting is an opportunity for you to renew your energy. Allow yourself time to rest your mind and body. This will help with your focus, clarity and balance your energy.
We put conditions and huge expectations on ourselves, and then beat ourselves up for not “getting there” soon enough. This is self-defeating behavior. Where is “There”? What are we chasing? Why don’t we stop and accept ourselves right now in this moment and enjoy our journey? The journey doesn’t end, we are always trying to get somewhere, to be enough, and when we reach where we intended to be, we aren’t even at peace, and we are running to be somewhere else. Our journey is more important than our destination.
Have you ever enjoyed being there? Enjoy each moment, celebrate it, and stay focused on the task at hand. Why do we think we will be better or happier when we have this degree or that certification, or get married, more to a new city, get a raise, have a new house or car, more friends? This is attaching feelings to things and people. Love and accept yourself now. We only have this moment. So take a deep breath, there is nothing to chase, nowhere to go.
Enjoy the journey, have fun in the process of life.
Living in the moment - To learn more about this author, visit Laurie Martin's Website.
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