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20 Ways to Say No

Written by: Kirsten Ross

Article Overview: Saying no is tough sometimes. But it’s a necessary skill if you want to live a life with any kind of balance. Demands on our time, money and other resources can take all that we have if we allow them. And failing to use this important word leads to resentments in our relationships, over-scheduling, overwhelm, over extending, frustration and inattention to our own needs or goals. When we aren’t good at it, coming up with a “no” on the fly can be very difficult. I encourage my clients to create some ready phrases so that they are prepared. The trick is to:

20 Ways to Say No

Saying no is tough sometimes. But it’s a necessary skill if you want to live a life with any kind of balance. Demands on our time, money and other resources can take all that we have if we allow them. And failing to use this important word leads to resentments in our relationships, over-scheduling, overwhelm, over extending, frustration and inattention to our own needs or goals.

When we aren’t good at it, coming up with a “no” on the fly can be very difficult. I encourage my clients to create some ready phrases so that they are prepared. The trick is to:

• Be authentic: Trust me, if you WANT to say no, you have a good reason. It’s just a matter of getting it phrased in a way that feels comfortable.
  
  
• Make it brief. Too much detail and you end up sounding defensive or whiney rather than assertive.
  
  

The phrases below are a starting point for establishing your own ‘no phrases’. Modify them to fit your own priorities and style.

1. I just can’t right now
   
   
2. I volunteer a certain number of hours per month and I’ve already made my commitments elsewhere.
   
   
3. My focus is on my family right now.
   
   
4. Sorry, but I won’t be able to help out this time.
   
   
5. My focus for the next several months is on a big career push. I won’t be able to help this time.
   
   
6. I would love to but my husband and I have made other commitments.
   
   
7. It sounds great. Not right now. Can you call me back in 6 months?
   
   
8. That is not my area of gifting. I’m really trying to put my energy where I can be my best self.
   
   
9. I’m sorry, but I need to decline.
   
   
10. No.
    
    
11. I’m sorry, it’s not a good fit for me.
    
    
12. Sorry. I’m already overextended.
    
    
13. I wouldn’t be able to give my best to that right now.
    
    
14. No thank you. I’m not interested.
    
    
15. I’ve been really overwhelmed lately so am practicing saying no.
    
    
16. That just doesn’t work for me.
    
    
17. No thank you.
    
    
18. Sounds like a great project. Let me put you in touch with someone I think would love to be involved.
    
    
19. My budget doesn’t allow for that right now.
    
    
20. I just have no time for that in my schedule right now.

Good luck and happy balancing!!

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