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A Simple Friendship

Guest post by: Charlie Badenhop

Article Overview: An account of how relationships are formed in Japan. Good to consider such subtlety when you want to make a better relationship with someone.

A Simple Friendship

A retired neighbor of mine in Tokyo had a small dog she used to walk four or five times a day. About a year after I moved into the neighborhood the dog passed away and the lady was deeply saddened. I saw little of her after her dog's passing, and I decided to try and cheer her up some. I left a gift of her favorite cookies by her door and had someone write a note in Japanese saying, "I am looking forward to seeing you happy again!" The next day I saw her taking an early morning walk, and I called out to her with a hearty "Good morning!" as I bicycled off to go shopping. She nodded her head and smiled.
Upon returning home my neighbor was unlocking the door to her house, about to go in.
She motioned for me to come over and asked in Japanese, "Did you leave me the cookies with a note yesterday?"
"Cookies with a note?" I asked. "Was the note in English?"
"No," she said, "The note was in Japanese."
"Oh," I said. "You know, I can't write in Japanese. The cookies must have come from someone else."
"Of course," she said. "I should have thought of that."
I told her I was glad to see her out and about again and that if she had some free time one of these days I would be glad to share some of the cookies with a cup of tea.
She invited me in on the spot, and we had a lovely conversation for about an hour as she showed me lots of pictures of her recently deceased dog.
I asked her if she was thinking of getting another dog. "No," she said, "The heartbreak of losing another pet would just be too much."
Two days later when I came back home in the evening, there was a beautifully wrapped box next to my door.
Inside the box was a container of my favorite tea.
The note attached to the gift was written in English. It said, "Thanks so much for all your kindness!"
With the note being written in English, and my neighbor neither speaking nor writing English...
There was no way I could ask if the tea came from her� Without letting her know the cookies had come from me. How clever my neighbor was! She knew I wouldn't ask, and she knew that I would know that she knew the cookies came from me!
I tried my best to not laugh out loud the next time we met.
Such is the beauty of a simple friendship.
Both of us knowing what the other felt,
And both of us sharing our hearts.
At a time when words can be too much,
A subtle gesture of solidarity can have such a gentle yet piercing power,
To touch the heart of a friend.

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Article Tags: Building relationships, Charlie Badenhop, Executive Coaching, Life Coaching, Seishindo



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