Tweet

Does your story have a future?

Written by: Charlie Badenhop

Article Overview: If you continue telling the same sad story about your past, you're likely continue to not feel good about yourself.

Does your story have a future?

Recently I had a client who was suffering from depression. His family had moved six different times during his childhood, and he explained how he always felt like an outsider. Each time that he began to make new friends, it was always time to move again. His father could never keep a job for longer than two years, and partly because of this, his mom and dad were always too caught up in their own struggle to take the time to care for and comfort him. He said that loneliness was a big issue for him, and then he just sat there motionless.

I sat with him for a while just absorbing his feeling, and then I asked him to tell me about his current life. The story he told was very much a duplication of his childhood. He was thirty five years old, had dropped out of college in his freshman year, and had done little more than drift from place to place for the last sixteen years. His longest relationship with a woman had been for two years, and he spent most of his time alone, feeling like a total outsider. He said his only solace was going to the movies and sitting in the dark as he watched the drama of other people's lives unfold on the screen. Sitting there with him, it felt as if we were sliding down into a very deep hole with no bottom in sight.

After a bit of small talk, I asked him to tell me how he imagined his future would be. He told me he felt that he would most likely continue in the same manner, and lead a lonely life with little emotional or professional fulfillment. He said his biggest fear was growing old, losing his health, and being shunted off into a public care facility, where he would die on his own. This powerful image really touched me. I told him in a gentle manner that it felt sad to me that the future he had just laid out seemed to only be a repetition of his past.

I asked him to imagine that he was sitting in a movie theater, watching HIS life unfold on screen. A small boy grows up in a lonely family environment and feels out of place with the rest of the world. His early adulthood winds up being the same. "And then what?" I asked. "What would need to happen to make this movie memorable?" He stared at me for quite a while and then said, "The man's life would need to change dramatically. He would overcome the limitations of his childhood, fall in love with a woman who understood his heart, and together they would live a fulfilling life."

"Yes." I said. "Then your story would have a compelling future. Then your drama would move people's hearts."

I asked him if he would like to work with me to build a story that had a future that transcended his past. He said he had not thought this was possible, but that if I felt we could accomplish this together he would very much like to try. I suggested he spend time working on the rest of his script and that in his next session, we would begin to explore how we could turn the new ending of his story into a reality. He smiled, thanked me, and said that for the first time in his life he had a tiny feeling that perhaps his life could be better than it had been. He was beginning to feel like he had the possibility of a new, emotionally satisfying future.

Related Articles
  PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE TENSE
  Using The Power Of Stories In Your Marketing Letters
  Make it New, Now
  Watch Me Tell One of the Best Stories in Never Eat Alone
  QA with a Story Guru Jon Hansen A Storied Career Interview

Article Tags: Charlie Badenhop, Executive Coaching, Life Coaching, Seishindo



Related Forum Posts
Re: New Site Facelift - Hi Zac - love the story about Paul Harvey - I have heard some of the "the rest of the story" broadcasts but didn't know it was him and didn't know the story about the advertising. You might want to make that link clickable and tell readers about Paul Harvey and why you're modeling his philosophy - if they don't know much about him you can still educate them and build trust and credibility with your audience.
Re: Become a Leader? It scared the hell out of me! - Paula thank you for sharing your story, it is so nice to read of someone becoming successful and you have done it by reading and learning and following your dream in spite of your fear. Well done your story is an inspiration to all. MichelleJ
Re: Getting Press Coverage - Hi Evan, Thanks for this great thread and informative tips. Very useful... I have not yet issued any press releases but one tip I picked up recently was that it is better to tell a story than to write a hyped-up infomercial, and if your story is about something your business is doing FIRST, all the better...
Re: Vera Wang Profile - This story remind me of the saying that "when one door is closed many more is open." I love this kind of story. It is not what happens to you that matters,but how you react to it
Re: 10 things not to buy in 2010 - Hi GT, I have just check your car of the future through the link. It is super and elegant. It will also save the world from fuel pollutions. So glad it is around the corner. As I have said earlier, we need to position our business for the future. We need to be thinking how our business will be relevant in the years ahead.


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Time management for DIY PR

Convening a focus group for a niche product

Why Small Businesses Don't Survive

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.