Does your story have a future?
Does your story have a future?
I sat with him for a while just absorbing his feeling, and then I asked him to tell me about his current life. The story he told was very much a duplication of his childhood. He was thirty five years old, had dropped out of college in his freshman year, and had done little more than drift from place to place for the last sixteen years. His longest relationship with a woman had been for two years, and he spent most of his time alone, feeling like a total outsider. He said his only solace was going to the movies and sitting in the dark as he watched the drama of other people's lives unfold on the screen. Sitting there with him, it felt as if we were sliding down into a very deep hole with no bottom in sight.
After a bit of small talk, I asked him to tell me how he imagined his future would be. He told me he felt that he would most likely continue in the same manner, and lead a lonely life with little emotional or professional fulfillment. He said his biggest fear was growing old, losing his health, and being shunted off into a public care facility, where he would die on his own. This powerful image really touched me. I told him in a gentle manner that it felt sad to me that the future he had just laid out seemed to only be a repetition of his past.
I asked him to imagine that he was sitting in a movie theater, watching HIS life unfold on screen. A small boy grows up in a lonely family environment and feels out of place with the rest of the world. His early adulthood winds up being the same. "And then what?" I asked. "What would need to happen to make this movie memorable?" He stared at me for quite a while and then said, "The man's life would need to change dramatically. He would overcome the limitations of his childhood, fall in love with a woman who understood his heart, and together they would live a fulfilling life."
"Yes." I said. "Then your story would have a compelling future. Then your drama would move people's hearts."
I asked him if he would like to work with me to build a story that had a future that transcended his past. He said he had not thought this was possible, but that if I felt we could accomplish this together he would very much like to try. I suggested he spend time working on the rest of his script and that in his next session, we would begin to explore how we could turn the new ending of his story into a reality. He smiled, thanked me, and said that for the first time in his life he had a tiny feeling that perhaps his life could be better than it had been. He was beginning to feel like he had the possibility of a new, emotionally satisfying future.
Does your story have a future - To learn more about this author, visit Charlie Badenhop's Website.
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Recently I had a client who was suffering from depression. His family had moved six different times during his childhood, and he explained how he always felt like an outsider. Each time that he began to make new friends, it was always time to move again. His father could never keep a job for longer than two years, and partly because of this, his mom and dad were always too caught up in their own struggle to take the time to care for and comfort him. He said that loneliness was a big issue for him, and then he just sat there motionless.
I sat with him for a while just absorbing his feeling, and then I asked him to tell me about his current life. The story he told was very much a duplication of his childhood. He was thirty five years old, had dropped out of college in his freshman year, and had done little more than drift from place to place for the last sixteen years. His longest relationship with a woman had been for two years, and he spent most of his time alone, feeling like a total outsider. He said his only solace was going to the movies and sitting in the dark as he watched the drama of other people's lives unfold on the screen. Sitting there with him, it felt as if we were sliding down into a very deep hole with no bottom in sight.
After a bit of small talk, I asked him to tell me how he imagined his future would be. He told me he felt that he would most likely continue in the same manner, and lead a lonely life with little emotional or professional fulfillment. He said his biggest fear was growing old, losing his health, and being shunted off into a public care facility, where he would die on his own. This powerful image really touched me. I told him in a gentle manner that it felt sad to me that the future he had just laid out seemed to only be a repetition of his past.
I asked him to imagine that he was sitting in a movie theater, watching HIS life unfold on screen. A small boy grows up in a lonely family environment and feels out of place with the rest of the world. His early adulthood winds up being the same. "And then what?" I asked. "What would need to happen to make this movie memorable?" He stared at me for quite a while and then said, "The man's life would need to change dramatically. He would overcome the limitations of his childhood, fall in love with a woman who understood his heart, and together they would live a fulfilling life."
"Yes." I said. "Then your story would have a compelling future. Then your drama would move people's hearts."
I asked him if he would like to work with me to build a story that had a future that transcended his past. He said he had not thought this was possible, but that if I felt we could accomplish this together he would very much like to try. I suggested he spend time working on the rest of his script and that in his next session, we would begin to explore how we could turn the new ending of his story into a reality. He smiled, thanked me, and said that for the first time in his life he had a tiny feeling that perhaps his life could be better than it had been. He was beginning to feel like he had the possibility of a new, emotionally satisfying future.
Does your story have a future - To learn more about this author, visit Charlie Badenhop's Website.
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