Coaching Yourself: How To Deal With Fear
Coaching Yourself: How To Deal With Fear
When dealing with fear, it is helpful to realize that not all fears are created equal. Timothy Gallwey and Robert Kriegel devote an entire chapter to two kinds of fear in their book "Inner Skiing," which they call Fear 1 and Fear 2. Fear 1 magnifies danger and vulnerability while minimizing your sense of competence. In other words, Fear 1 is Fantasy Expectations Appearing Real.
Fear 2 mobilizes your whole being for effective action. It includes a series of marvelous physiological changes that prepare the body for peak performance. Fear 2 focuses attention, provides adrenaline for extraordinary effort, and sharpens perception. Fear 2 promotes effective action; Fear 1 paralyzes us and prevents action.
DEALING WITH FEAR: EXERCISE
Make a list of all of your fears, writing as fast as you can to block the internal censor. Include EVERY fear, however small or irrational. Then read them aloud, suspending judgment. Allow yourself to feel the fear without grabbing onto the hot air balloon. Notice that being afraid does not have to mean losing ground.
If it feels comfortable, share your list with a friend. Before sharing your list, explain that you simply want a witness, that you are playing with how it is to acknowledge your fears without being pulled off center by them. Be clear that you are not asking for help and that you do not need advice. You do not need to be fixed. Ask your friend to simply listen, and to acknowledge you for being conscious of your fears.
Now, you have the opportunity to sort your fears by type. Work through your list, labeling each fear as:
-- Fear 1
-- Fear 2
-- Not sure, or includes aspects of both types of fear.
Writing down your fears is a powerful step in dealing with fears and anxiety and eventually managing them. Until you write them down, they are like so many vehicles in gridlock. Once you have them on paper, you can park some and move others, clearing a space for forward movement. In this way, writing down your fears creates a space for awareness and choice. (Tip: Refrain from judging yourself or your fears. Just list and label them.)
MAKING THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN TWO TYPES OF FEAR
Once you have a list, notice where Fear 1 and Fear 2 show up. The following distinctions will help:
-- Fear 1 promotes panic and confusion. Fear 2 promotes clarity and purpose.
-- Fear 1 is often about saving face. Fear 2 is about stepping out of your comfort zone.
-- Fear 1 triggers avoidance of the facts. Fear 2 heightens awareness and perception.
-- Fear 1 wants you just to stop. Fear 2 wants you to move forward powerfully and safely.
-- Fear 1 magnifies danger and vulnerability. Fear 2 calls on our capacity to respond to danger.
-- Fear 1 originates in our ego mind. Fear 2 is a whole-system response.
Both types of fear are present in many situations. What is important is to use your powers of assessment and discrimination to turn down the volume on Fear 1 while calling on Fear 2 for the energy and focus to move forward. With practice, you can actually transform Fear 1 into Fear 2 by focusing and accurately assessing the real risk and your real competence.
For example, Fear 1 makes a terrified skier (and I speak from experience!), see a shear drop where the slope is actually quite moderate. When the skier stops and measures the actual slope by holding her pole parallel to it, she increases her awareness of actual conditions, reducing the influence of Fear 1. By continuing to examine the slope, seeing in her mind's eye how she would ski the slope if she chose to, she further reduces panic. When at last she takes off down the hill, trusting in her competence and in her assessment of the challenge, she completes her shift from Fear 1 (panic) into Fear 2 (concentrated exhilaration).
Learning to deal with fears in this manner takes practice. The pay off is potentially unlimited as you remove barriers to learning, performance and joy.
* * *
Follow Molly Gordon's online guide "How to overcome fears and anxiety" and step into a world of virtually unlimited possibility and satisfaction. This guide outlines four principles of dealing with fear that have freed dozens of Molly's clients and hundreds of readers of her newsletter from crippling fear: redefining fear, tapping into your body wisdom, discerning two types of fear, and maintaining homeostasis while overcoming self-sabotage. Applying these principles will empower you to understand fears and anxiety and to choose how you respond to them, creating a space for greater meaning and prosperity in your life. You will learn what to do to support stepping out of your comfort zone and find a list of useful books on fear and inspiring fear quotes. Work through this guide, and enjoy the transformation that occurs when fear and anxiety stop running the show.
Coaching Yourself How To Deal With Fear - To learn more about this author, visit Molly Gordon's Website.
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As a coach, I know that fear is responsible for much, if not most, frustration and failure. When my clients learn to work with and overcome their fears and anxiety, they step into a world of virtually unlimited possibility and satisfaction. I believe this article will help you understand more about fear and choose how you respond to it, creating a space for greater meaning and prosperity in your life.
When dealing with fear, it is helpful to realize that not all fears are created equal. Timothy Gallwey and Robert Kriegel devote an entire chapter to two kinds of fear in their book "Inner Skiing," which they call Fear 1 and Fear 2. Fear 1 magnifies danger and vulnerability while minimizing your sense of competence. In other words, Fear 1 is Fantasy Expectations Appearing Real.
Fear 2 mobilizes your whole being for effective action. It includes a series of marvelous physiological changes that prepare the body for peak performance. Fear 2 focuses attention, provides adrenaline for extraordinary effort, and sharpens perception. Fear 2 promotes effective action; Fear 1 paralyzes us and prevents action.
DEALING WITH FEAR: EXERCISE
Make a list of all of your fears, writing as fast as you can to block the internal censor. Include EVERY fear, however small or irrational. Then read them aloud, suspending judgment. Allow yourself to feel the fear without grabbing onto the hot air balloon. Notice that being afraid does not have to mean losing ground.
If it feels comfortable, share your list with a friend. Before sharing your list, explain that you simply want a witness, that you are playing with how it is to acknowledge your fears without being pulled off center by them. Be clear that you are not asking for help and that you do not need advice. You do not need to be fixed. Ask your friend to simply listen, and to acknowledge you for being conscious of your fears.
Now, you have the opportunity to sort your fears by type. Work through your list, labeling each fear as:
-- Fear 1
-- Fear 2
-- Not sure, or includes aspects of both types of fear.
Writing down your fears is a powerful step in dealing with fears and anxiety and eventually managing them. Until you write them down, they are like so many vehicles in gridlock. Once you have them on paper, you can park some and move others, clearing a space for forward movement. In this way, writing down your fears creates a space for awareness and choice. (Tip: Refrain from judging yourself or your fears. Just list and label them.)
MAKING THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN TWO TYPES OF FEAR
Once you have a list, notice where Fear 1 and Fear 2 show up. The following distinctions will help:
-- Fear 1 promotes panic and confusion. Fear 2 promotes clarity and purpose.
-- Fear 1 is often about saving face. Fear 2 is about stepping out of your comfort zone.
-- Fear 1 triggers avoidance of the facts. Fear 2 heightens awareness and perception.
-- Fear 1 wants you just to stop. Fear 2 wants you to move forward powerfully and safely.
-- Fear 1 magnifies danger and vulnerability. Fear 2 calls on our capacity to respond to danger.
-- Fear 1 originates in our ego mind. Fear 2 is a whole-system response.
Both types of fear are present in many situations. What is important is to use your powers of assessment and discrimination to turn down the volume on Fear 1 while calling on Fear 2 for the energy and focus to move forward. With practice, you can actually transform Fear 1 into Fear 2 by focusing and accurately assessing the real risk and your real competence.
For example, Fear 1 makes a terrified skier (and I speak from experience!), see a shear drop where the slope is actually quite moderate. When the skier stops and measures the actual slope by holding her pole parallel to it, she increases her awareness of actual conditions, reducing the influence of Fear 1. By continuing to examine the slope, seeing in her mind's eye how she would ski the slope if she chose to, she further reduces panic. When at last she takes off down the hill, trusting in her competence and in her assessment of the challenge, she completes her shift from Fear 1 (panic) into Fear 2 (concentrated exhilaration).
Learning to deal with fears in this manner takes practice. The pay off is potentially unlimited as you remove barriers to learning, performance and joy.
* * *
Follow Molly Gordon's online guide "How to overcome fears and anxiety" and step into a world of virtually unlimited possibility and satisfaction. This guide outlines four principles of dealing with fear that have freed dozens of Molly's clients and hundreds of readers of her newsletter from crippling fear: redefining fear, tapping into your body wisdom, discerning two types of fear, and maintaining homeostasis while overcoming self-sabotage. Applying these principles will empower you to understand fears and anxiety and to choose how you respond to them, creating a space for greater meaning and prosperity in your life. You will learn what to do to support stepping out of your comfort zone and find a list of useful books on fear and inspiring fear quotes. Work through this guide, and enjoy the transformation that occurs when fear and anxiety stop running the show.
Coaching Yourself How To Deal With Fear - To learn more about this author, visit Molly Gordon's Website.
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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David AchesonDavid Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns. David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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