Refine Your Work Life Balance by Setting Healthy Boundaries
Refine Your Work Life Balance by Setting Healthy Boundaries
I notice a tendency among small business owners and free agents to think of boundaries as ways to keep something or someone out, as if they could achieve work life balance in this way. This emphasizes protection of their time, energy, and resources. This kind of boundary is a line in the sand. When a customer, colleague, or vendor crosses the line, an alarm goes off, signaling the business owner to say "No."
Because most owners want their businesses to be accessible and to offer excellent service, they are naturally conservative in setting this sort of boundary. After all, they want to say, "Welcome" to prospective customers and partners, not "Keep Out." As a result, they set boundaries at the last possible point to keep invaders at bay.
I've done this, by the way, so I know of what I speak. I know how confining this sort of boundary can be. There is no room to move. There is barely room to breathe. The longer this boundary stays in place -- even if no one ever tries to cross it -- the more confined, cramped and edgy those inside the boundary will be.
After working inside this boundary for a while, it is natural to become unbalanced, impatient, cranky, even resentful. It is uncomfortable inside this boundary, and it feels as though this is the fault of those pushy customers, colleagues, and vendors out there. After all, if it weren't for THEM, you'd be out in the fresh air.
But wait -- a client is not an invader. A vendor is not a spy. A business is not a castle on a hill, placed there for strategic advantage against enemy forces. Let's take a big breath and take another look at this business of setting boundaries.
What if boundaries were not last-ditch protections against marauders? What if you set them so that they were lovely, sturdy fences defining a spacious and resource-rich territory in which you can do your best work and enjoy your life at the same time? What if boundaries created a pasture rather than enclosing a cell?
Further, what if boundaries were designed to let in light and air? What if you could see out and others could see in? Working inside of these boundaries is quite a different experience. For one thing, there is plenty of room to move. When someone approaches your boundary, you have lots of choices about how to respond.
Maintaining these healthy boundaries feels entirely different, too. With what pride of ownership and delight in the scope of our pasture we walk the fence line. How pleasing it is to oil the latches on the gates, to replace broken posts, to trim the hedges.
Check in with your boundaries this week. First, notice what constitute the fence posts and gates in your business. Are they the hours that you work? The rates you charge? The terms you offer for special services? Get familiar with the structural elements you can use to build your beautiful fence and gate.
When you have identified those elements, look at where you have set them. Do your rates give you room to do your best work? Do your working arrangements give you breathing space? Examine your boundaries, and notice if they are giving you room to live and to do your best work or cramping your style. Experiment with moving your boundaries out a bit, not to keep your customers away, but to create a bigger space from which you can serve them wholeheartedly and well, maintaining a healthy work life balance.
* * *
Read more Molly Gordon's articles on work life balance written to help you change course without abandoning the destination and restore your equilibrium. Find out how you can improve your resilience and your hopefulness by acquiring solid positive thinking skills.
Refine Your Work Life Balance by Setting Healthy Boundaries - To learn more about this author, visit Molly Gordon's Website.
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Setting healthy boundaries is essential for a healthy work life balance. That sounds true, but what does it mean? What do healthy boundaries look like, and how can you know where and how to set them?
I notice a tendency among small business owners and free agents to think of boundaries as ways to keep something or someone out, as if they could achieve work life balance in this way. This emphasizes protection of their time, energy, and resources. This kind of boundary is a line in the sand. When a customer, colleague, or vendor crosses the line, an alarm goes off, signaling the business owner to say "No."
Because most owners want their businesses to be accessible and to offer excellent service, they are naturally conservative in setting this sort of boundary. After all, they want to say, "Welcome" to prospective customers and partners, not "Keep Out." As a result, they set boundaries at the last possible point to keep invaders at bay.
I've done this, by the way, so I know of what I speak. I know how confining this sort of boundary can be. There is no room to move. There is barely room to breathe. The longer this boundary stays in place -- even if no one ever tries to cross it -- the more confined, cramped and edgy those inside the boundary will be.
After working inside this boundary for a while, it is natural to become unbalanced, impatient, cranky, even resentful. It is uncomfortable inside this boundary, and it feels as though this is the fault of those pushy customers, colleagues, and vendors out there. After all, if it weren't for THEM, you'd be out in the fresh air.
But wait -- a client is not an invader. A vendor is not a spy. A business is not a castle on a hill, placed there for strategic advantage against enemy forces. Let's take a big breath and take another look at this business of setting boundaries.
What if boundaries were not last-ditch protections against marauders? What if you set them so that they were lovely, sturdy fences defining a spacious and resource-rich territory in which you can do your best work and enjoy your life at the same time? What if boundaries created a pasture rather than enclosing a cell?
Further, what if boundaries were designed to let in light and air? What if you could see out and others could see in? Working inside of these boundaries is quite a different experience. For one thing, there is plenty of room to move. When someone approaches your boundary, you have lots of choices about how to respond.
Maintaining these healthy boundaries feels entirely different, too. With what pride of ownership and delight in the scope of our pasture we walk the fence line. How pleasing it is to oil the latches on the gates, to replace broken posts, to trim the hedges.
Check in with your boundaries this week. First, notice what constitute the fence posts and gates in your business. Are they the hours that you work? The rates you charge? The terms you offer for special services? Get familiar with the structural elements you can use to build your beautiful fence and gate.
When you have identified those elements, look at where you have set them. Do your rates give you room to do your best work? Do your working arrangements give you breathing space? Examine your boundaries, and notice if they are giving you room to live and to do your best work or cramping your style. Experiment with moving your boundaries out a bit, not to keep your customers away, but to create a bigger space from which you can serve them wholeheartedly and well, maintaining a healthy work life balance.
* * *
Read more Molly Gordon's articles on work life balance written to help you change course without abandoning the destination and restore your equilibrium. Find out how you can improve your resilience and your hopefulness by acquiring solid positive thinking skills.
Refine Your Work Life Balance by Setting Healthy Boundaries - To learn more about this author, visit Molly Gordon's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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