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Have You Ever Felt Lost?

Guest post by: Ron Finklestein

Article Overview: Are you stuck, lonely, and lost. Does any other business owner feel the same way or is it just you?

Have You Ever Felt Lost?

Have you ever felt lost, stuck, confused and closed off?

As a small business coach, I work with many small business owners who are stuck, depressed, closed off and fearful.

When I found myself in that space a few weeks ago, I had no idea what to do. I couldn't even sleep. Four AM was my regular wake up time and I felt blessed to sleep that long.

I knew I had to call my coaches (advisors).

You see I practice what I preach. I felt weak asking them to help.

I did not want to see them. I did not want to talk to them. I did not want to share with them how it felt to fell like a failure.

But I swallowed my pride and I meet with my advisors. I put my ego in park and went to the meeting. By the way they are what I consider to be my board of advisors.

Was it scary? Yes.

Was it hard? Yes.

Was it difficult? Yes

I could go on but you get the picture.

After a difficult few hours I received this advice from one of my advisors. "You are a coach, coach yourself. Step back, remove the ego, define the problem, and fix it!" Those were hard word to hear.

I went home and felt sorry for myself (for about an hour) and started to do as advised.

I realized my problems were the same problems I help others with daily: focus, discipline, and execution. As I started to define the problem I realized I got away from the basics everyone, without exception, needs to follow.

I knew I needed to create a process I could follow to keep me focused. I spent the next few days creating, testing, implementing, and testing again. I solved this problem by creating what I call the "Promise Setting Process."

I am so excited by the results, focus, discipline and execution that I am going to roll this out as a product in the near future.

But talking about the product is not the reason for this blog post.

The true reason for this post is the email I received from one of my advisors after our meeting. It touched me deeply, changed my perspective and gave me hope. I want to share it with you because everyone needs someone like this in their corner: someone to ask the hard questions, someone to care about them, someone who believes in their dreams, and someone to hold them to a higher standard. Here is his email.

"Thanks for sharing this morning, old friend. How much of your current questioning of your career direction is related to the feeling of helplessness from your recent encounter with Big Brother Bank? When we feel "out of control" or in the dark without a flashlight, we all attempt to question our worth or direction. Those challenges in life, are more often than not, met with an insecurity as large or larger than the monster in front of us. If we didn't feel that way, we would not be "human". Our reaction needs to be part attentive to the issue and part "I am better than this". Where are you? All of us at the table have stories of coming out of a personal image crisis, and you don't need to hear those now. How you gird your loins and deal with it all with logic and fortitude will determine who you are in the coming weeks and months. May I suggest both logic (a plan) and an ego. You are a great man, with great ideas. Use them on yourself. "The only easy day was yesterday", now what are you going to do today? Ring the bell, or put on the 90 pound pack and run the 29 miles in the top 10? I'm betting you can be right there at the finish line."

For those of you who don't know, when someone quits (or washes out) in the process of becoming a Navy Seal, he must ring the bell letting everyone know of his choice. Otherwise he is expected to pick up his pack and start running to the finished line.

His email prompted me to fix my own problem and I realized I am not alone. Half the world feels the same way. If I fixed it for me, then half the world needs to hear about this so they can put themselves back into control. More on this later.

Today, find someone you can call and share your fears, frustrations, pains and choices with. Don't judge yourself, their responses or the situation you are in. When you do that you start the process of feeling free. Everyone of us needs to feel heard. We need to know someone cares.

Then make a decision, no, a promise, to make something happen. No excuses. Track your progress, measure your results. If you are not getting the results you want, repeat the process. But find someone who can help. DO NOT RING THE BELL.

Thank you to my advisors who listened, shared, and would not let me fail; who held me to a higher standard than I could hold myself. The true meaning of friendship was reinforced and redefined for me as a result of this meeting.

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Article Tags: business growth, ego, lonely, mastermind, relationships, stuck



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