Tweet

Five Ways To Complain And Get Results Without Playing The Blame Game

Guest post by: Terri Levine

Article Overview: Sometimes when things go wrong it is somebody else's fault - but not always. Regardless of who is at fault, getting caught up in the "blame game" can be our undoing.

Five Ways To Complain And Get Results Without Playing The Blame Game

Often we get trapped into a situation where we find fault with something or someone and get trapped into blaming others. This doesn't make us a bad person, however, it sure uses up a great deal of our time and energy.

When we allow ourselves to feel anger, feel unjust or wronged, we allow ourselves to let in stress and not have a sense of connection and well-being. Knowing we get to choose exactly how we want to feel and that we are fully responsible for the emotions we choose, why choose feelings that don't allow in peace and contentment? Wouldn't you prefer to feel happy and aligned? In addition, when we come from a place of feeling anger or wanting to get even, we may say or do things that we regret and that don't match who we are.

Have you ever purchased a product or service and felt that the company or person made an error? You didn't get the service you wanted? Something wasn't quite right? Ever had this happen with a person, item, or relationship... feeling something went wrong and someone else is to blame? Possibly even feeling a lot of anger and emotional charge or reaction?

Welcome to being involved in the "blame campaign"!

Here are five tips you can use when you must complain about something without falling into the blame-game trap.

1. Firstly, don't fire off an immediate missive. Allow yourself some cooling down space. Stop. Don't make that call, fire off that email or write that letter or say or do another thing. It is time to be still and quiet and to breathe and get yourself centered. Come to what we call in coaching a charge neutral (non-reactive) place. Allow yourself to disconnect from the emotions of the experience. If you can calm yourself, you will be able to communicate your complaint in a calm manner and receive a calm and helpful response in return. (This will also generate incredible benefits for yourself too and help you avoid high blood pressure and ulcers!)

2. Next, consider what is right and what is already working in the situation. People, companies, things aren't there to ruin your life, make things hard or mess up on purpose. In life, there are mistakes, errors and things that aren't quite right yet. It pays to remind ourselves occasionally that everyone is doing their best and trying to do things right. In the human experience mistakes will happen and they aren't done intentionally. Don't take it personally!

3. Simply stop finding fault and flinging blame. Although others may be at fault you have created how you feel - no one but YOU has created how you feel. You choose your own reactions/responses to each and every situation. How do you choose to feel? I'd prefer to feel joyful and happy and to come from a place of love, understanding and forgiveness. That makes my life experience less stressful and angry.

4. Notice what you have learned from the entire experience and how this can serve you in the future. There is always a life lesson in what we experience. By learning to look at the lesson and how you can grow and benefit you'll begin to embark on a new campaign - a campaign of accepting the world and others as they are and getting that they are perfect how and where they are. Yes, perfect. Digest that. Really breathe that in. They perhaps didn't do or say or act as you thought they should or could and that is perfect, too. I know this isn't easy to hear, so just allow it to sit with you. Release your anger and look at what you learned and send that person, company, thing, lots of thanks and be grateful for something, anything you can find about them.

5. It takes an evolved person to apply these principles each day. If you aren't quite there yet, don't beat yourself up... use love and forgiveness of YOU just as you will of those who cause you to experience upset. If you can't reach this level at first, then pretend. Pretend this is how you feel and eventually it will become second nature and it will be how you feel and react in the future.

Life isn't about anger and blame... lighten up!

Related Articles
  Take the Hit
  LEADERSHIP IS CREATIVE THINKING NOT REACTIVE THINKING
  Focusing on Your Game Plan
  Playing to Win and Not to Not Lose
  Changing the Game
  Your Limit
  Spectator or Sportsman
  Blaming Others
  Living In The Gap Of Possibility And Purpose: Part 1
  What Ohio State Football Can Teach You About Your Business
  (8) Ways To Drop The Victim Mentality And Succeed!
  Don\'t Be A Stella
  PLAY TO WIN .. or Play Not To Lose?
  In search of better
  Popular iOS & Android Games
  Wasted Days And Wasted Nights…
  Are You In The Game
  Blackjack or Roulette?
  The Game, and How You Play It!
  Playing the Big R Game

Article Tags: blame, blaming, complaining, self development, self improvement



Related Forum Posts
Willing to Fail Your Way to Success - Entrepreneurs in my opinion, must be willing to fail. (This is that risk-taking factor quoted in the other post). If you aren't willing to fail then you don't take risks and if you don't take risks you do I like to call (I am qouting an awesome book called Play to Win!) 'Playing Not to Lose' instead of 'Playing to Win'. When you Play to Win you must risks. Risks are how you build a business and innovate.
The Game Inventor's Guidebook - by Brian Tinsman, 2002 I checked this out of my local library today and its pretty interesting... didn't address what I wanted to know, which was how to actually design an online gaming system (indeed this doesn't cover online games at all), but for board games etc. it's pretty good. Here's the TOC: 1. How they diid it: Trivial Pursuit Magic, the Gathering Dungeons & Dragons Pokemon Trading Card Game Interview with an inventor Interview with a publisher 2. How the industry works 1. What's in it for you 2. How new games happen 3. Anatomy of a publisher 4. Markets for games 3. Games and companies you should know 1. Mass market games you should know 2. Mass market companies you should know 3. Hobby games you should know 4. Hobby companies you should know 5. American specialty games and companies you should know 6. European specialty games and companies you should know 4. Self publishing 1. What am I getting into 2. Before you print 3. After you print 5. Selling a game step by step 1. How to invent a game 2. Game design 3. Game development 4. Targeting publishers 5. Before you submit 6. Eight submission strategies 7. Contacting publishers 8. Protecting your property 9. What to do if they don't say yes 10. What to do if they do say yes! 11. The game industry's dirty little secret 6. Resources and examples Publishers and mnufacturers Distributors Brokers Game conventions and trade shows Industry publications Sample query letter Sample record of disclosure Sample licensing agreement Sample option agreement
Re: I will be away - Hi Guys Thanks for the good wishes. I had a really relaxing time and as soon as I get caught up will upload some pictures of the Big Game we saw on some of the drives. No lion GT as these parks are privately owned and they don't want predators who will eat the herbivores that they have paid a lot of money for . Saw some elephant though and rhino which was great. MichelleJ
Re: What are some fun games for small business owners? - i second Bohnanza Game (aka "the bean game") as a great game for practicing negotiating skills...
Re: Ideas For Business - Stas and lucy, Could you guys give us a recap of your entire business idea as it stands now. Seems like it morped a bit. Let us know: 1. Start date 2. Ways you will Market 3. What you will offer 4. How much will your charge for your offer


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Four Secrets to Earning Income as an Author

Work Life Balance: Adding White Space

Setting Goals for your Home Based Business

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.