Getting Along with the Boss
Written by:
Terri Levine
Article Overview: Getting along with your Boss can sometimes mean the difference between having a successful career or the job from hell. Here Terri offers advice on how to get along with the grumpiest boss.
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Getting Along with the Boss
Your Boss holds your future prospects in his hands. Expect very few favors from a Boss who does not like you. Some Bosses are hard to please and get along with. Some have excellent qualifications but no idea when it comes to dealing with people. Of course, not all bosses are like that.
Bad relationships with the Boss can not only mean missed advancement opportunities; it is one of the major reasons for high staff turnover. If you resign because of the Boss, you may also expect a dent in your professional reputation. Imagine having to provide such an 'ex' Boss as the contact referral person at your next interview?
The relationship you have with your boss can be a major factor in determining your rise up the ladder. Your Boss isn't only your supervisor, he is also the person best equipped (or should be) to help you do the job you are paid to do. He is privy to the company's goals and knows what the company is looking for in future executives. He can inform you of company direction that may affect your future aspirations. He can put in a good word in the right ears for you. He is also your ally when you need back up, support or cooperation from other departments.
Your Boss also needs you, performing at your best, in order to accomplish his objectives. He needs your feedback in order to provide realistic and useful reports to upper management. You can make him look good or bad.
But how does this help you establish a meaningful working relationship with your Boss?
The key is communication. Learn and understand his goals and priorities. What is required of him and how can you help him achieve that? Observe and understand your Boss' work style. If he has not been clear with his expectations, ask! Likewise, ask for feedback and accept criticism gracefully. And if he understands you do not view your job as just something to fill the hours between 9 and 5, he may be more inclined to help you.
Know your Boss' priorities and try to anticipate his needs before he asks. Don't think narrowly in terms of your own immediate position... try to understand where what you do ties in with the bigger picture.
What other things can you discover about your Boss? Is she conservative or informal? Does she prefer to be greeted as Ms, Miss or Mrs, or does she prefer first names? Is hers an "open door" policy or does she prefer you set appointments with her? Respect your boss’ time. Never barge into her office expecting or demanding a hearing immediately. Does she prefer to be kept informed with progress reports, or does she prefer you show initiative and get on with the job? Discover and eliminate behaviors that would annoy her, and never bad-mouth her to others. It always gets back via office grapevines.
Your boss is only human. Like you, he has his off days, and being human, he can also make mistakes. Some managers are naturals, and others struggle because communication and people skills are not their strong points. He may not have all the answers, and maybe, his own boss is hard to get along with or has unrealistic expectations!
Don’t be a "yes man" and don't offer false flattery in the hope of getting somewhere... it won't work! And don't aim for "closeness" in the working relationship because this can also backfire. If he depends upon you too much, he won't recommend you for promotions because he needs you too much where you are. Another possibility is, if he is not a good manager, he may be given his marching orders... if you are seen to be a part of his management mishaps, you may be marching out the door with him!
Do what you can to stay in his/her good books. Don't take "sickies" unless you ARE sick! Be an effective, cooperative, responsible and courteous employee and team player.
It is possible that you are already these things, and you are working for somebody whose management style disagrees with your needs or expectations. Maybe friction can not be avoided. So you need to decide just how important your career path in that particular company is, because if you can't adjust and work with it, you may be better off looking for a new job in a new department or company.
In short, getting along with your Boss entails getting to know his likes and dislikes and learning to work with his personality and management style.
And the upside about mastering communication and people skills with your own boss is that one day, those skills will pay off in your own management role with your own team.
Author info:
Terri Levine MCC, PCC, MS, CCC-SLP is CEO of Comprehensive Coaching U, a Master Certified Coach, Public Speaker, and Author of "Stop Managing, Start Coaching", "Work Yourself Happy", "Coaching for an Extraordinary Life", and "Create Your Ideal Body. To learn more about Coaching and related programs, or to sign up for Terri's newsletter, please visit http://www.terrilevine.com or call: 877-401-6165
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Related Forum Posts
Re: Books You Wish Had Been Written
- How did I miss this topic for so long!! haa haa I love it.
Ok - procrastinate constructively - I'd probably buy that but then put off reading it...haa haa
Hmm...I think someone should write a book about being a sometimes reluctant entrepreneur, or perhaps the reality of business ownership and PMS as a woman in business.
kidding aside...I have an extensive library but I would love to see a book that really lays out the emotional side of business ownership. What to prepare for etc.
I get the tools and information from reading a lot of biographies but somedays, I would love to go to my library and pull out a reference for 'one the days you dont feel like being the Boss etc..."or 'how to keep your game face on for your staff when stuff doesnt go right.
I had a meeting today with a prospect and he was really candid, he said "i want my business to be doing better but I'm not sure if I have it in me today...."
Instead of a sales meeting - we went for a heart to heart entrepreneurship coffee. Best 'meeting' I have had in forever!!
Are You a Businessgirl or a Businesswoman?
- One thing that has irked me off and on for 30 years is the tendency of people - both men [i:2wryyhvf]and [/i:2wryyhvf]women, to refer to women, whatever their age, as 'girls' rather than women.
College basketball announcers, coachers and players do it, as do the fans. These are 'girls' who are between the ages of 18 - 21, that's women in my book.
Tennis players and announcers do it. John McEnroe called 'em girls and just when I was getting annoyed at him for being a bit of a male chauvanist, they interviewed player Lindsay Davenport - 30 years old, and she referred to 'em as girls as well.
The Bond "girls" were girls up until the 90s, I admit, doing nothing more than providing someone for Bond to bed and rescue, but in the last few installments the "girl" has been more of a power player...nevertheless she's still a 'girl'.
And of course there was the TV series The Golden Girls - which I liked by the way, but which featured mature women calling themselves girls
And now here it is in the 2000s, and we get this:
The Girl's Guide To Starting Your Own Business, by Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio. Their photos are on the cover - presumably the photo is of them and not models - and they are definitely women, not girls.
And what "girly" chapter titles do they give us? "The Scary Stuff" (financial matters) and a chapter on ACTING Like an Adult. (Caps mine).
So popular was this book, apparently, that they've now come out with a sequel:
The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being A Bitch): Valuable Lessons, Smart Suggestions, and true stories for succeeding as the CHICK-IN-CHARGE. (My caps)
and once again I was tempted to take the book and throw it across the room. Let's indulge in [i:2wryyhvf]all [/i:2wryyhvf]the cliches, shall we?
So I'd like to hear from other businesswomen out there. Do you find yourself referred to as a girl? Do you mind it? Do you like the culture that still propagates that mindset?
Meet Mary Sue Milliken - chef and restaurant owner
- Mary Sue Milliken will be at our "Launching an Edible Life" event February 4 in Los Angeles ... come join us!
Contact aswift@ladieswholaunch.com for registration details.
If there's just one thing you need to open a restaurant, it would have to be a stove, right? Think again. When Mary Sue Milliken and her best friend/fellow chef/business partner Susan Feniger opened City Cafe in Los Angeles in 1981, they had no stove or oven, only a hot plate and a hibachi out back in the alley.
Humble digs, especially for two professionally trained chefs-Milliken had attended Washburne Culinary Institute, while Feniger studied at the Culinary Institute of America. Their resumes included stints at three-star restaurants in France, Spago in Los Angeles, and Le Perroquet in Chicago, where they met in 1978-the first women working in that restaurant's all-male kitchen.
Rich in experience and vision, but not in funds, they were happy to have a restaurant to call their own and quickly began perfecting a unique, multicultural fare, which incorporated recipes from Greek, Indian, and Thai cultures, as well as their own mothers' recipes. Once they expanded to City Restaurant in 1985, they became culinary icons, recognized for their fresh mix of refined culinary technique and exotic Third World flavors, all dished up with down-home charm and playful enthusiasm.
Now overseeing 375 employees between the Border Grill restaurants in Santa Monica and Las Vegas and Ciudad in downtown Los Angeles, the partners have also found time to write five cookbooks, including the recent Mexican Cooking Essentials for Dummies; host the popular Food Network shows "Too Hot Tamales" and "Tamales World Tour"; and launch the Border Girls brand at Whole Foods Market.
What we learned from Mary Sue:
Not every venture will be successful, but every experience will be worthwhile. "You've got to bounce back and just keep going. They're all great lessons to learn."
Words of Wisdom
"I think we both subconsciously were willing to start in a really meager setting, just because it was an opportunity not to work for a man."
Penniless But Passionate
"We had come home [from France] with the intent to open a restaurant together, and we didn't have a penny to our names. I was 23 years old. I had not been to college. I had no idea how to launch a business. None. Susan had a degree in economics and had been to chef's school. She's five years older than me. But she also didn't have any idea how to launch a business."
Cook What You Know
"First of all, you just copy things. But then, it starts to be a very personal cuisine, which is what we basically used those three-and-half years at City Cafe for-to create our own personal style of food. And it was so well-received. It started out as country French food, and it kept expanding all the time."
Eclecticism, Not Fusion
"We did some really groundbreaking stuff. This was in 1984, and still, when our City Cuisine cookbook came out in '87, people said there's nowhere to put this book on the shelves of the cookbook aisles, because you guys are all over the map. And there just wasn't that kind of integration of different culinary ideas. We never called what we did "fusion." We always felt like we stayed very true to the Greek cuisine, or the Indian, or the Thai, or the Mexican, or the Scandinavian, or whatever it was."
On-the-Job Training
We slowly started learning about business, so when we launched City Restaurant, which was really the thing that put us on the map, it was a 125-seat restaurant with a full-on kitchen. It was on La Brea. We raised the $660,000, and had to do a whole prospectus. I'll never forget, my net worth was $12,000, and Susan's wasn't much more. But we were able to learn by the seat of our pants, and we've been learning ever since."
How Much Is Enough?
"We were just making educated guesses-or uneducated guesses. In the end, $660,000 was not enough money at all. We were completely short, and we had to get an angel to come in and sign a guarantee on a bank line of credit for us. Really, it was a stressful opening, because we only had like two-and-a-half days in the kitchen with food before we had to open the doors to the public because we were so broke."
Hindsight Is 20/20
"If I knew then what I know now, I would have somehow found some financial bridge so that we could have had a little more practice before we opened. I mean, literally, the first couple weeks, there were nights that we didn't even go home, and we were really burning the candle down to zero."
It's a Man's World
"I think we were both ready to be on our own. And the prospect of working under men, and working our way up, and trying to fight through all of the barriers, looked less fulfilling than just starting out [on our own]. Even though we didn't even have a stove, we still opted to start out calling our own shots."
Know When to Grow
"The growth ... it's a really personal thing. It depends on how equipped you are for the challenge and stress of growth, and how your business is doing. I mean, we've grown where things worked out really well, and we've grown where it's created a big strain on the existing businesses, and the new businesses didn't work."
On Losing Money
"When I look back on it, I think, 'Well, I didn't go to college. That's about how much college might cost me. I'll just chalk it up to experience.' Now I have an even better understanding, and luckily, it didn't happen at a time when I really couldn't afford it. But I'll tell you, being an entrepreneur and being in business is a real roller coaster."
A Thankless Job Has Its Rewards
"When the Food Network came asking for us to come and promote our second book, and they noticed we were funny and how we finished each other's sentences, they said, 'You girls should have a TV show.' The reason we should have had a TV show was that we did all of this really thankless teaching before that, and I'm not even sure it brought bodies into the restaurant. A lot of people might have looked at it as a waste of time. But I think you never know what skill you're going to develop, [and our teaching gave us the skills we needed to do the Food Network show.]"
Be a Great Boss
"We learn a lot from our colleagues, and from other companies that we want to be like. We're always looking for innovative ways to really make our workplace so phenomenally attractive that we can't lose good people, and we can attract the best. Those are big goals for us all the time."
My Most Rewarding Business Moments...
"... are when one of our past employees mentions how working for us made a difference in their lives. It's the best feeling in the world!"
Be Good at Everything
"You have to be a great leader, as well as a great cook, as well as organized, because it's a business of so many details. I think there are a lot of restaurants that fall through the cracks because they're missing the boat on something, and customers just don't come back."
All Work and No Play
"You have to be willing to walk away when you have a pile of work on your desk and stuff that you really should get done. You've got to be willing to walk away and clear your mind and be in the moment with your children or your husband, or whoever. You have to convince yourself that it's equally, or more, important than your job."
This Featured Lady was profiled by Sarah Tomlinson, a Los Angeles-based freelance writer.
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