Do you know what's standing between you and success? Do you know what the greatest threat to your ultimate happiness is? Are you sitting down for this? It could be you!!
We encounter self-sabotaging behavior when we are afraid of failure and sometimes afraid of success! Oh yes... you CAN be afraid of success! Humans resist changes in their lives – it's "safe" to stay in our comfort zone – even if it is boring!
Ten of the most common beliefs self-saboteurs hold are:
I am not...(clever, pretty, handsome, etc.)... enough.
It is my responsibility to make the sad people around me, happy again... to make them feel better.
I must think of others first – otherwise I'm being selfish (and what would mother say about that!)
It is egoistical to love yourself.
If I allow myself to "shine", people will think I am vain and arrogant.
I am "here" because of circumstances outside my control – it's not my fault. I'm a victim of circumstance / parents / life, etc.
Why should I bother – there's no point to anything...
I can't make a mistake! Mistakes are bad! Nobody will like me - I'll lose my job – the world will stop spinning!
The future will just be like the past... these things always happen to me, so why bother!
Let's face it; I simply am not worthy of your attention. I'm not worthy of being loved, complimented, opportunities, wealth, etc. Other people are... but not me, so if you'll excuse me, I'll just go crawl back under my rock where I belong!
Hellooo! Yes, you! Under the rock... come on out of there and listen up! Your enemy is about to be exposed...
Procrastination
Perfectionism
Indecision
Burn-out
Criticism
You may be able to identify more, but these will do for a start, don't you think?
Slaying the enemy...
Choose a goal with meaning for you, break it down into baby steps – divide it into smaller pieces – you don't have to achieve the entire goal in one day! It doesn't work that way.
Not being perfect is part of being human. Look around you and see all the imperfect people experiencing love and happiness and wealth! What does that tell you?!
Being decisive is about taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions. It has a lot to do with your level of self-confidence. What? You have no confidence? There are books and tapes and coaches out there who can change this!
Learn to say 'no'. Try small things first and build up from there. If someone, your boss perhaps, asks you to do a million things at once and you feel uncomfortable saying no, ask him to choose the priority. At first, people may be surprised by your "no" if they are not used to it. If they have an issue with your "no", realize that is "their" problem – not yours! You are NOT responsible for other people – only yourself!
Being overly critical stifles your happiness. Use positive affirmations every day, about yourself and those things around you of which you are critical. Silencing your inner critic will take practice – but practices makes perfect (oops! There's that word again!)
Don't be a rock dweller... you are a beautiful, imperfect, deserving, individual being, not a beetle... but hey, even beetles have a right to be successful and happy – and so do you!
Author info:
Terri Levine MCC, PCC, MS, CCC-SLP is CEO of Comprehensive Coaching U, a Master Certified Coach, Public Speaker, and Author of "Stop Managing, Start Coaching", "Work Yourself Happy", "Coaching for an Extraordinary Life", and "Create Your Ideal Body. To learn more about Coaching and related programs, or to sign up for Terri's newsletter, please visit http://www.terrilevine.com or call: 877-401-6165. You can also contact Terri via website here: http://www.TerriLevine.com/contact-me.htm
Help Im My Own Worst Enemy - To learn more about this author, visit Terri Levine's Website.
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