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How Fulfilled Are You Really?

Guest post by: Terri Levine

Article Overview: On the surface, many people think they have a fulfilled and balanced life, but when we dig deeper we start to unravel what's really going on.

How Fulfilled Are You Really?

Are you fulfilled in your life? How about in your work? Many clients we work with tell us they have a wonderful lifestyle, but as we start to dig deeper, we see that they are missing a great life. What is the difference?

Simple. A lifestyle is the external things which you gather, but a life is something fulfilling and sustaining. Let's look at some of the ways to be more fulfilled.

1. Stop focusing on earning more and buying more. Stop funding a lifestyle, and start creating a better life for you and those around you.

2. Stop looking for more gratification, and start being very grateful for all you do have.

3. Stop measuring your success in money terms, and start measuring emotional costs. If you work day and night to keep up with your lifestyle, you are giving up your life. Start enjoying your life and making it simple.

4. Ask yourself if you are working for a living or doing the work you love for life? (I do what I love and love what I do ... shouldn't you?)

5. Focus on your energy, feeling joy, love, and having the time to enjoy the special people in your life - this is how to be fulfilled.

6. If your work drains you or doesn't fulfill your intellectual, social, and emotional needs, make a change.

Can't seem to make a change and blaming everyone else? Stop whining ... don't be a wimp ... take back the power of your life ... go for fulfillment ... and get back in control!

ALREADY LOST CONTROL?

Most people are so unbalanced today that they aren't even aware of it. Are you one of them? The answers you provide to the following questions will measure the degree of balance you have between the demands of work, family responsibilities, and personal time. Become aware of what and where your "gaps" are (gap - coach "talk" for the difference between what you want and what you currently have).

Answer each question with a number, with 5 being "always" and 1 being "never."

AT HOME:

Does your family complain that you don't spend enough time with them?

Do you often feel anxious about the demands of your family?

Do responsibilities at home make you resentful?

Do you expect your family to adapt to your career needs?

SUBTOTAL:

AT WORK:

Do you feel frustrated because your income is not enough?

Do you feel guilty about the time you spend on your career?

Do you resent having to bring work home?

Do you worry that your work interferes with family needs?

SUBTOTAL:

PERSONAL:

Do you feel there's never enough time for yourself?

Do you feel guilty about taking a vacation?

Do you wish you got more exercise?

Do you feel you never get to do what you like to do?

SUBTOTAL:

TOTAL:

A total score of less than 20 indicates you've learned to balance family, career and personal needs successfully.

21-30 indicates a good balance with some need for improvement.

31-40 indicates a fair balance.

41-50 shows that you're barely managing the juggling act of home, career and personal needs.

BALANCING ACT

Want to get into balance fast? Begin by keeping a journal for 3-5 days of your current time allocation. Notice where you are spending most of your time. Is your time being spent on your life values/priorities?

When you compare where you want to spend your time and where you are spending your time, don't get discouraged. By learning and knowing this information you can then begin to make changes. This awareness has created for you what coaches call a "gap" - the difference between what you want and what you currently have.

Having identified what you want and knowing your current situation, you can now begin to change your everyday actions to move you closer to what you desire.

If you want some help on your journey, a professional coach can assist you to build a balance between work and play and to create more joy in your life. Don't live your life out of balance. Don't let your life slip by with you saying "if only...". Make a decision today to move you closer to what you want.

IS TIME A PROBLEM?

Do you feel frustrated with the lack of time you have? Feel anxious that you just can't get everything done, no matter how hard you work or how much time you spend?

Today's society brings with it many things to juggle: career, family, home, shopping, activities, appointments, events and on and on. This leads us to feel we have no time and creates stress which can cause a variety of illnesses.

If you are serious about turning this around, or want to avoid this situation, here are some pointers for you:

1. Slow down - take many breaks during the day and keep telling yourself to breathe and relax.

2. Track one full day of your week by 15-minute increments - evaluate where all your time goes and ask yourself this question, "Is this how I choose to be experiencing my life?" - be honest with yourself.

3. Create delight breaks in your day - time to take a walk, call a friend, stretch, look outside, read a magazine, take a bath, etc.

You'd be surprised how much time you actually do ‘waste' during a busy day. Keeping a journal will identify times in which you really CAN take a walk, sit and enjoy a cappuccino, call a friend, etc.

ENJOYING THE MOMENT

It is all too easy to become so swept up in your work that not only do you not stop to smell the roses, you've ceased to even notice them. One secret to living life to the fullest is simply to enjoy today... enjoy the moment.

Until technology perfects time travel, it is impossible to relive the past or live in the future. You CAN only experience "now", so it is important not to waste it.

Ensure that the things you do and experience in your Present, are things that really matter to you. Don't waste these precious present moments doing things that other people think you should do. Their perspective is only appropriate to themselves. Set the goals that are best for you.

Don't be hard on yourself. You are human. Humans, by their very nature, are imperfect creatures. Don't condemn yourself over your weaknesses. These things can be worked on if they are a real problem, and that's why you are given a lifetime - for you to experience one day at a time.

Don't compare yourself to others. Instead, appreciate the very things which make you different; which make you special. We will always find those who are worse off, or better off, and every single one lives in circumstances totally different from ourselves. It's like comparing a blade of grass with an iron bar.

Spontaneity is good - when it is appropriate, but bear in mind that your time, your actions, and your words can never be taken back. Make each one count.

Finally, look upon each day as a precious gift. You are not here to race through the days as quickly as possible, skimming over the details. You are here to experience each step of your life's journey, to learn from it, to savor it, to enjoy it. Yesterday is too late; tomorrow isn't here yet... you only have today.

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Article Tags: fulfillment, life and work balance, life coaching



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