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Leaving The Office Behind

Guest post by: Terri Levine

Article Overview: Can't switch off at the end of the day and leave the office behind? Here are some tips to help you leave your work behind at the end of each work day and begin to enjoy a healthier lifestyle.

Leaving The Office Behind

You work back late, get home, dinner is dry, the family is in bed or watching TV and don't want to be disturbed, you feel tired and guilty, and you determine that tomorrow you will do better. So the next day you bring your work home with you instead... and still don't have time for them... or a personal life. You realize this is not going to work so you decide to be firm with yourself and just come home earlier - by yourself - no work. Yes, you're there physically, but mentally, you're still back at the office.

Many executives are familiar with this scenario, but some professions suffer from being unable to leave the office behind more than others. Sometimes, the very nature of their work often requires after hours interruptions. Take Doctors and surgeons, for example. And for other professionals, the higher up the ladder they climb, the bigger the workload and the harder it is to just switch off.

So, even when they aren't at work, they're thinking about work or talking about work and fighting the temptation to check their messages, even when they're not being paged and called for work related matters out of hours. It gets to the stage that work is all they know. They feel guilty for even contemplating sitting and enjoying some "me" time even just for an hour.

It's vital professionals learn ways to spend more time with their family, their friends, and their hobbies for the benefit of their own health and wellbeing. However, it's one thing to teach them about work/life balance and quite another to expect them to put it easily into action. They face two stumbling blocks which represents the spanner in the spokes of their taking action that will create a healthy work/life balance.

First, professionals tend to link their identity to their job title. They are this very important person with serious obligations and responsibilities. They see themselves as their job title - they forget that isn't who they are... only what they do. They often believe it is incumbent on them to work ridiculous hours because it comes with the job, or to prove themselves to the board of directors, the CEO or the shareholders. They believe they are irreplaceable and only they can do the work they are spending the best part of their lives doing, or they don't trust others to do it. Only they can do it. Really? Who are they kidding? How much great work can you achieve recuperating in hospital after a heart attack?

The second stumbling block is a strong inbuilt work ethic that not only comes with the job but has been ingrained in them through their years of training and working their way up their career ladders. They're trained to expect that when they reach the top it is all work and no play and it becomes hard for them to turn off even when they know better.

Some tips for helping the busy professional in your life learn new and healthier work/life habits include (apart from hiring a Life Coach):

1. Take Baby Steps

Cut down the amount of time that you check your emails or voice messages. The country stops work at a specific time of the day for a reason - it's why your building is plunged into darkness and patrolled by security guards. You're expected to switch off too. Unless you are an emergency doctor or surgeon, you are NOT on call. You can switch off.

I know, it is really hard to come home and try and act "normal" and resist the temptation to head straight for your cell phone or laptop and this is one area that it's important to practice baby steps. Just like many smokers succeed by cutting down gradually instead of going cold turkey, cut down the amount of time you spend each night on checking your calls and emails. Then try cutting it out entirely for one night a week, and build it up to 2... then 3... and so on. If you do find yourself browsing the internet for fun, that's fine - but you must stop immediately if you start finding yourself looking at work related sites. If you want internet research done for work purposes, delegate the task when you get into the office.

Once you realize that your business isn't going to go belly up and you aren't going to fall over dead when you don't work at night, you'll be able to relax and enjoy work-free evenings more frequently, releasing the need to always be in control or "on call".

2. Delegate

Start delegating simple tasks to others. Again, take baby steps. Don't hand over the large projects right away - you'll just end up micromanaging everything and stressing about if they are doing it correctly or as well as you would. Start with small things that you know others can handle and pass the task over. One day you will be able to hand over larger tasks and your health and your family will thank you for it.

3. Use Creative Visualization

Before you go home at the end of the day, just sit in your chair for a few minutes, relax your shoulders, and close your eyes. Doing some kind of a mental visual ritual that really establishes in your mind that the office is closed and your work day is over can help many professionals do just that. An example of a visualization can be imagining saying goodnight to everyone in the office while the office is in darkness and being locked up for the night. Then see yourself leave - the door is locked behind you - the entire building is in darkness - you can't go back even if you wanted to. Then you see yourself driving home safely and arriving outside your house. You look inside the window and everything you hold valuable and dear in life is there on display - your whole life - your wife, children, friends, family, hobbies - everything. You open the door and are engulfed in feelings of love, peace, relaxation. You feel safe and relaxed. This is your safe haven. Home! Visualizations like this one can really help you put some closure on your day and leave the office behind mentally as well as physically.

4. Change Your Mindset - Change Your Mood

Establishing and sticking to your new work/home "rules" and routine is really as simple as changing your mindset. It's true. It's all in the head. You have to see it in your head before it will happen in your life. You must be familiar with "Dream, Believe, Achieve" - it is that exact principle and it works for any goal, whether you are a top athlete or a business director.

You have to be two different people. The gung-ho, super efficient professional at the office, and the more relaxed, fun loving family person at home. Using creative visualizations will help achieve this but there is another trick you can employ that will help make it even easier. If you do something physical, a special action that you take to mean "Okay, time to switch, now I'm Dad (or mum)" and allow you to leave the professional you behind. It doesn't have to be something elaborate, even something that only takes a few minutes will work as long as it signals, for you, that your day is now changing from office to home.

Here are some simple examples to illustrate activities you can do that will assist in changing your mood and mindset:

• As soon as you get home, change into your sweats (or whatever you prefer to wear is comfy and you consider "home clothes").

• Take the dog for a walk or go for a jog or a walk with your wife or children.

• Play with your kids - shoot baskets, fly kites, help with their homework, etc.

• Curl up in your comfy chair and read the day's paper or some chapters from your favorite book.

• If you drive home, listen to your favorite radio station or a special CD that represents "home" time as opposed to office time.

• Enjoy some 'chill' time in the spa, or take a relaxing bath or just have a shower.

• Watch a favorite program on TV.

• Play a computer game - alone or with the kids.

• Do some gardening or water the lawn with a hand held hose.

• In the garden or a quiet room do some yoga or tai chi or just meditate to some soothing music.

There are so many activities you can do that signal "home" time and these are just quick examples. You can also play tennis after work with friends, although this is not an activity you'd probably do 5 times a week after work. Be creative. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as it is something you love and can trigger that all important signal that you are now home and 100% switched off from work.

And for those whose excuse for staying back late at the office or bringing work home relates to the need to get a start on an important job and you're afraid you'll forget something important overnight or first-thing interruptions will disrupt you in the morning, I have a tip for that, too.

If you don't have an assistant to help you, keep track in your diary of work you consider so urgent that you were prepared to consider staying back late to make a start on it so you know where to start in the morning and can commence without delay. Set what you need up before you go home. This way you know you can relax at night because everything you need to start will be there ready in the morning.

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Article Tags: leaving the office behind, office hours, work life balance



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