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Making Yourself Valuable - A silly look at What you should NOT Do.

Guest post by: Terri Levine

Article Overview: There is room for humor in lesson learning. We all talk about self development and improvement, but often people have "other people" in mind. Do any of these comments resonate with you?

Making Yourself Valuable - A silly look at What you should NOT Do.

You've heard of 'be the change you want to see occur in the world around you', I'm sure. Unfortunately, we can't make other people be more considerate, helpful, honest, etc., but if everyone were to work on themselves and develop these attributes, our world would truly be a better place. The challenge lies in each person recognizing these traits within themselves and doing something about them. The problem is everyone thinks it is the other person who has these problems, not themselves.

Let's see... does any of this remind you of anyone?

1. Being judgmental. I'm always on the look-out for the bad in people. You've got to know your enemy! And face it, the world is full of rotten people doing rotten things and I want to spot them before they spot me! You can't trust anyone. I didn't get to my position without being a good judge of character. I'm an authority on people. And I know when I'm right. If you don't agree with me, that's simply because you're wrong! Next question!

2. Respect. From where I stand, this is MY life and so, only MY rights count in MY life and people need to respect that and respect me. I don't have to respect them, because they're all rotten. Don't you listen? I have more money than you and live in a posh house... I can't help it, I just AM better than you. Why? Are you trying to say you're my equal? You're beneath me... I give charity to people like you! As for considering your dignity... if you had any dignity you'd not be here sniveling and asking these inane questions. Puh-leeze!

3. Being a Good Listener. Who's not listening now? Didn't I just say that I don't have to listen to you? Who are you, anyway? Do you live in my street? If not, I don't care what unimportant, little thing you have to say. You're not at my level so how can you have anything to say that's worth listening to? Go away!

4. Be interested - not interesting. Who said I'm not interested? I'm interested in the stockmarket, my new Porche, my next overseas holiday, and waiting for the kids to do something interesting too, so I can brag to all our friends and put them in their place. We are the interesting ones. You should hear what we did last holidays, and I know all about holidays! and this suit I'm wearing cost me a fortune, and what about my facelift, now there's something interesting, and let me tell you about the new contract I won all by myself...

5. Respond from Your Heart. Listen, we didn't get our trendy suits and our high rise offices by listening with our hearts, lady! We didn't get this far by being stupid! We know how to read between the lines. We know what you're going to say before you say it! Which is why we don't need to listen and waste our time. There's no place in business for 'hearts'. Home is where the heart is and should stay... did I tell you about my new holiday home, oh, and my new car... now that car has heart!

6. Be truthful. Are you for real? You want me to tell my wife about my girlfriend? Or worse, tell my girlfriend about my wife? And if the stockholders knew what I did... no, I'm sorry, there's a time and a place for the truth and you won't find a time or a place in the real world. You can't go around telling the truth! Nobody tells the truth! Where do you live? Never-Never Land? You certainly don't live in my street! You want the truth? You're wasting my time with this drivel.

7. Be helpful. I am helpful. I took my new secretary away with me on my last business trip to Paris - she's never been overseas before. I was helpful and she was grateful. I paid for my wife's plastic surgery - now she looks ten years younger. I didn't sack my assistant when he took the day off for his mother's funeral. How much more helpful do I have to be?

8. Maintain Your Integrity and Your Dignity. You won't find a more dignified person than me. I'm rich. I'm successful. I'm handsome. People don't just look up to me because I'm tall and good looking. They know they'll get the sack if they don't! I have the looks, the clothes and the proud bearing of a very dignified person. Look, do you see my shoulders slouching? Unemployed people slouch. And you're questioning MY integrity and MY dignity? I'm full of integrity - I can look you in the eye and tell you anything! In a very dignified manner, of course!

9. Go the Extra Mile. I jog every morning - we have big houses in our street, and I jog one extra house length each week. What do you mean, that's not what you mean? I do go the extra mile... so my secretary will feel important, I let her carry my papers and briefcase everywhere. I'm a considerate employer. I hired the city's top chef for a special dinner I held for some important stockholders I wanted to really impress, AND entertainers. Now if that's not going the extra mile, I don't know what is!

10. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say. You better believe it! I mean it if I tell you I'm having you removed from the building and if you're not gone within 60 seconds I'm calling security! And don't run! It's undignified! Even for you!

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Article Tags: humor, self development, self improvement



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