How do you feel about asking for advice and for some form of help from others? Do you always resist asking, or do you resist until it is a last resort? Why do people delay making a justified and valid request for advice and help until they become desperate and in a state of panic?
Some great answers to those questions can be found in “Mayday/Asking for Help In Times of Need,” by M. Nora Klaver, a Chicago-based master coach. In her book she writes:
We may ask too late because we don’t recognize early enough that we actually have a need to be filled.
We may not see the whole picture, so the help we ask for satisfied only part of our need.
We may ask the wrong person or people to help us with our request.
Our requests may be so unclear that others may not understand that we need help at all.
Help may come, but because we weren’t clear enough in our requests, it’s the wrong help.
We may demand assistance rather than politely ask for it.
We may resort to blackmail, bribery, or even coercion to get our needs met.
We may inadvertently solicit pity instead of help.
Our bodies may betray our fears and subtly send the message that we are too far-gone to be helped.
We may ask for help too often without concern for our friends, family, and coworkers. Compassion fatigue becomes a real possibility for them.
We may simply frighten ourselves into never asking.
I continue to be amazed at the amount of misinformation and the number of myths that exist about asking for advice and help. During my entire career, I have heard business owners, senior executives and not-for-profit board members and executive directors utter “mythical” statements about seeking advice and help. And I have observed that these same people truly believe that these myths are reality. My purpose in writing this article is to share what I believe are the 5 biggest myths and also provide some insights into what I believe are the 5 biggest “realities” of seeking advice and help from others.
The #1 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help from others you will appear to be or perceived as being weak.”
The #1 Reality: Every one of us needs to seek the advice and help of others, especially in chaotic times. And by seeking advice and help, we demonstrate a strength rather than a weakness.
The #2 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you are showing signs of incompetence.”
The #2 Reality: A wise person will always seek advice and help to ensure success; to enhance personal development and to learn from others.
The #3 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you may offend someone or make them feel uncomfortable.”
The #3 Reality: It is human nature to offer to help someone in need and people genuinely enjoy helping others who ask them for advice and to help.
The #4 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you might be rejected.”
The #4 Reality: In life, even a negative response provides an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your relationships. All of us experience “no” in our lives, but I have found “no” becoming “yes” with the right approach when asking for advice and help.
The #5 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you will be expected to return the favor to those who help you.”
The #5 Reality: The truly valuable advice and help will come without any strings attached. Your only obligation, which is simply good manners, is to deliver a sincere thank you to those who give you advice or help you in some way.
Are you a believer in one or more of these myths? Or do you accept the realities? Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach encourages you to reject the myths and accept the realities in seeking advice and help from others. Please contact Glenn Ebersole through his website at www.businesscoach4u.com or via email at jgecoach@aol.com) to find out how to clear up the myths and get to the reality of the benefits of seeking and asking for advice and help to grow your business.
Clearing Up The Myths About Seeking Advice and Help, According To Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach - To learn more about this author, visit Glenn Ebersole's Website.
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