Clearing Up The Myths About Seeking Advice and Help, According To Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
Clearing Up The Myths About Seeking Advice and Help, According To Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
Some great answers to those questions can be found in “Mayday/Asking for Help In Times of Need,” by M. Nora Klaver, a Chicago-based master coach. In her book she writes:
We may ask too late because we don’t recognize early enough that we actually have a need to be filled.
We may not see the whole picture, so the help we ask for satisfied only part of our need.
We may ask the wrong person or people to help us with our request.
Our requests may be so unclear that others may not understand that we need help at all.
Help may come, but because we weren’t clear enough in our requests, it’s the wrong help.
We may demand assistance rather than politely ask for it.
We may resort to blackmail, bribery, or even coercion to get our needs met.
We may inadvertently solicit pity instead of help.
Our bodies may betray our fears and subtly send the message that we are too far-gone to be helped.
We may ask for help too often without concern for our friends, family, and coworkers. Compassion fatigue becomes a real possibility for them.
We may simply frighten ourselves into never asking.
I continue to be amazed at the amount of misinformation and the number of myths that exist about asking for advice and help. During my entire career, I have heard business owners, senior executives and not-for-profit board members and executive directors utter “mythical” statements about seeking advice and help. And I have observed that these same people truly believe that these myths are reality. My purpose in writing this article is to share what I believe are the 5 biggest myths and also provide some insights into what I believe are the 5 biggest “realities” of seeking advice and help from others.
The #1 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help from others you will appear to be or perceived as being weak.”
The #1 Reality: Every one of us needs to seek the advice and help of others, especially in chaotic times. And by seeking advice and help, we demonstrate a strength rather than a weakness.
The #2 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you are showing signs of incompetence.”
The #2 Reality: A wise person will always seek advice and help to ensure success; to enhance personal development and to learn from others.
The #3 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you may offend someone or make them feel uncomfortable.”
The #3 Reality: It is human nature to offer to help someone in need and people genuinely enjoy helping others who ask them for advice and to help.
The #4 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you might be rejected.”
The #4 Reality: In life, even a negative response provides an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your relationships. All of us experience “no” in our lives, but I have found “no” becoming “yes” with the right approach when asking for advice and help.
The #5 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you will be expected to return the favor to those who help you.”
The #5 Reality: The truly valuable advice and help will come without any strings attached. Your only obligation, which is simply good manners, is to deliver a sincere thank you to those who give you advice or help you in some way.
Are you a believer in one or more of these myths? Or do you accept the realities? Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach encourages you to reject the myths and accept the realities in seeking advice and help from others. Please contact Glenn Ebersole through his website at www.businesscoach4u.com or via email at jgecoach@aol.com) to find out how to clear up the myths and get to the reality of the benefits of seeking and asking for advice and help to grow your business.
Clearing Up The Myths About Seeking Advice and Help According To Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach - To learn more about this author, visit Glenn Ebersole's Website.
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How do you feel about asking for advice and for some form of help from others? Do you always resist asking, or do you resist until it is a last resort? Why do people delay making a justified and valid request for advice and help until they become desperate and in a state of panic?
Some great answers to those questions can be found in “Mayday/Asking for Help In Times of Need,” by M. Nora Klaver, a Chicago-based master coach. In her book she writes:
We may ask too late because we don’t recognize early enough that we actually have a need to be filled.
We may not see the whole picture, so the help we ask for satisfied only part of our need.
We may ask the wrong person or people to help us with our request.
Our requests may be so unclear that others may not understand that we need help at all.
Help may come, but because we weren’t clear enough in our requests, it’s the wrong help.
We may demand assistance rather than politely ask for it.
We may resort to blackmail, bribery, or even coercion to get our needs met.
We may inadvertently solicit pity instead of help.
Our bodies may betray our fears and subtly send the message that we are too far-gone to be helped.
We may ask for help too often without concern for our friends, family, and coworkers. Compassion fatigue becomes a real possibility for them.
We may simply frighten ourselves into never asking.
I continue to be amazed at the amount of misinformation and the number of myths that exist about asking for advice and help. During my entire career, I have heard business owners, senior executives and not-for-profit board members and executive directors utter “mythical” statements about seeking advice and help. And I have observed that these same people truly believe that these myths are reality. My purpose in writing this article is to share what I believe are the 5 biggest myths and also provide some insights into what I believe are the 5 biggest “realities” of seeking advice and help from others.
The #1 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help from others you will appear to be or perceived as being weak.”
The #1 Reality: Every one of us needs to seek the advice and help of others, especially in chaotic times. And by seeking advice and help, we demonstrate a strength rather than a weakness.
The #2 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you are showing signs of incompetence.”
The #2 Reality: A wise person will always seek advice and help to ensure success; to enhance personal development and to learn from others.
The #3 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you may offend someone or make them feel uncomfortable.”
The #3 Reality: It is human nature to offer to help someone in need and people genuinely enjoy helping others who ask them for advice and to help.
The #4 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you might be rejected.”
The #4 Reality: In life, even a negative response provides an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your relationships. All of us experience “no” in our lives, but I have found “no” becoming “yes” with the right approach when asking for advice and help.
The #5 Myth: “If you ask for advice and help you will be expected to return the favor to those who help you.”
The #5 Reality: The truly valuable advice and help will come without any strings attached. Your only obligation, which is simply good manners, is to deliver a sincere thank you to those who give you advice or help you in some way.
Are you a believer in one or more of these myths? Or do you accept the realities? Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach encourages you to reject the myths and accept the realities in seeking advice and help from others. Please contact Glenn Ebersole through his website at www.businesscoach4u.com or via email at jgecoach@aol.com) to find out how to clear up the myths and get to the reality of the benefits of seeking and asking for advice and help to grow your business.
Clearing Up The Myths About Seeking Advice and Help According To Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach - To learn more about this author, visit Glenn Ebersole's Website.
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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David AchesonDavid Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns. David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website |
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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David BarrDavid Barr is the President of Venture Opportunities, Inc. David has been a professional business broker/intermediary since 1980 focusing on General Business Brokerage and Mergers and Acquisitions representing client transaction value from $400,000 to $20,000,000. Mr. Barr has handled the sale of over four hundred and fifty companies. David earned a university degree from the State University of New York majoring in economics and business. David holds the Mergers and Acquisition Master Intermediary and the Certified Business Intermediary designations from the International Business Brokers Association. He is also a Senior Business Analyst and a Texas licensed Real Estate Agent. For more information about David and Venture Opportunities, visit www.bizdealmaker.com. - Visit David Barr's Website |
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Anne BarrAnne Barr has over 26 years experience in sales and marketing, six years as a franchisee. She has assisted over 367 business owners and purchasers to achieve their goals in career change, transition and exit strategy. She holds the designation of Certified Franchise Executive from the International Franchise Association, Certified Business Intermediary from the International Business Brokers Association and Board Certified Broker from the Texas Association of Business Brokers. Anne is active in professional organizations, networking groups and volunteers for non-profit entities. As owner/operator of four successful businesses, Anne has proven people skills and enjoys helping clients find the right "fit" in business ownership. Visit www.FranchiseOpportunitySpecialist.com for more information about me and my company. - Visit Anne Barr's Website |
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Casey GollanCasey Gollan, Business Coaching & Mentoring Programs. Add $1 Million to $10 Million in the next 1 to 3 years. Since 1996 Casey has to added hundreds of millions of dollars to businesses. Watch a free video see client results Business Coaching website. - Visit Casey Gollan's Website |
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