One of my favorite superheroes growing up was Batman. My favorite shows almost always included my favorite arch-villain too, The Joker!
Jack Nicholson reprised this role of The Joker beautifully in the 1989 version of Batman the movie.
I was reminded of this character at a recent networking event where I met someone who had what I refer to as “The Joker” smile.
I gave this poor fellow the benefit of the doubt. Chances are, he had read about or been told that you’re supposed to smile when you are at networking events and meeting new people.
This is something I’m familiar with since it’s something I’ve heard hundreds of times.
I’m guessing this guy is naturally more reserved like me. One of the challenges us reserved folks have is showing how we’re feeling about something. We tend to have what people refer to as a “poker face.”
So even if we’re feeling good and are interested in what someone is saying, we might not show it outwardly.
A tip I’ve heard many times is to “make sure you smile more.” That holds true whether meeting someone 1-on-1 or if you happen to be presenting to a group.
One of the things I’m always conscious about is making sure my smile is genuine. Otherwise I’ve found that people will be uncomfortable. They’ll sense something isn’t quite right. They may even think the smile is a bit forced and disingenuous. That’s worse than not smiling at all!
Here are a few things that have worked for me to make sure my smile is genuine. You may want to give them a try:
1. Remember to breathe: as simple as this might sound, whenever people are feeling a bit anxious or stressed, they often forget to breathe. No, they don’t stop breathing and die, they just forget to take normal repetitive breaths which helps to calm the body. So try a couple of deeps breaths where you breathe in through your nose for 10 seconds and breathe out through your mouth for 10 seconds. Try this 2 or 3 times in a row and I guarantee you’ll feel more like yourself.
2. Don’t overthink: sometimes we can get in our own way by thinking about something too much. Overthinking typically leads to stress and tightening up and it’s hard to smile when you’re not relaxed.
3. Don’t overdo it: it’s good to smile, but if you’re not an “over-the-top” outgoing person, don’t pretend to be. It’s too far outside your normal operating style for you to jump into comfortably without years of practice. Even then, chances are it still won’t appear to be genuine. So just go with a more reserved smile!
4. Happy thoughts: pause for a minute to think of something that brings a smile to your face. Perhaps it’s a spouse or a child, maybe even a vacation spot. Visualization like this can be a powerful thing.
5. Don’t fake it: if you’re not in a good mood or things are a bit stressed, don’t try to pretend everything is OK because people will typically know. Try to go for a more even keel approach on these days.
Thanks for your help in my “anti-Joker” campaign. If you meet a Joker this week, feel free to pass along this note to them.
Let me know if you find anything else that works well for you.
Are You The Networking "Joker"? - To learn more about this author, visit Adam Sonnhalter's Website.
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Adam Sonnhalter
(Visit Adam's Website)
Adam Sonnhalter is a Partner of Maximum
Value Partners, a business coaching firm
based in Northeast Ohio that works with
companies across the U.S. with anywhere
from 1-25 employees. Adam has been
involved in professional services his
entire career including nearly a decade on
Wall Street as an Investment Banker
helping people buy and sell companies as
well as raise money for their companies.
Adam grew up with an entrepreneur at the
dinner table and has been advising
business owners for well over a decade.
Adam's partner in MVP is Jack Mencini.
Jack has personally owned and operated
several companies, 5 of which he bought
and subsequently sold, the others were
started from
scratch, including MVP and one that made
the Weatherhead 100 list of fastest
growing companies in Northeast Ohio. All
of this came after 17 years working for a
couple of large public companies in
Northeast Ohio that exposed him to
business throughout the world. We
currently work with companies throughout
the U.S. either in person or virtually.
More information is available about Adam
and Jack and their business coaching at
the MVP web site www.maximumvp.co
m and their blog www.AskTh
eBizCoaches.com .
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