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Power People - Control People

Written by: Gloria Starr

Article Overview: If you are not in charge of your life, someone else will be.

Power People - Control People

Power People know who they are and what they want out of life, and they have a very realistic sense of how to get it. They always have a game plan. They chart their own course and do their own thinking. When they lead, others follow. They are effective and get results. Power people are builders and creators. Power people are straight forward and they "shoot from the hip." They place a high value on achievement and they get satisfaction from their accomplishments.

They find joy in their lives and see good in the world. History's prominent Power People are celebrated as our heroes and leaders. Many of these people are showcased in the "halls of fame" and the history books. They are Nobel Prize winners and citizens of the year. They enjoy successful careers, are doing well in school and/or are raising happy families. Generally they are pleasant people to be around and you leave feeling better for their company and their positive energy.

Control People are up only if someone else is down. Their tendency is to destroy or tear down other people and their accomplishments. You can never drop your guard around these people. You can't do business with these people and stay honest with your values. They are the bullies and they throw their weight around. They pick on the underdog. Whether their style is physical violence or subtle psychological warfare, their aim is to control other's actions and reactions. Control People are insecure, miserable souls. Certain types of relationships tend to breed control behavior. Dependence brings out impudence. Abuse provokes revenge.

Control people in authority foster it in others. Controlling parents pass it along to their children. The control people resent and envy the power people. They get their biggest payoffs from getting away with things and from being in control. To destroy a control person, get him in a position where he is forced to admit, publicly and to himself, that he is wrong. Control People can operate only if Victims are available. Power People don't need victims.

Victims are the objects of someone else's control, and without them the Control People would be out of business. Victims are confused and ignorant people who lack direction, motivation, strength, and competence. Victims allow people to influence them to their own disadvantage. Victims don't make it into the history books, except as statistics.

Most of us have both Power and Control tendencies. In some areas our vulnerabilities leave us open to other people's control, making us a Victim. Dealing with Control People the "win-win" model breaks down. Power people use their performance power to attain their goals. Control People use their physical skills to bully or intimidate, their shrewdness to manipulate, and their wit to embarrass or humiliate.

People use sex and money as instruments of control. Power People spend their dollars wisely. Control People spend their dollars to make an impact on others through flashy jewelry, fur coats, $150,000. cars, and designer labels with astronomical price tags. Be aware, choose wisely. Actions speak louder than words.

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Article Tags: communication, control freaks, Gloria Starr, people skills



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