HARNESING THE POWER OF DIFFERENCE

At the start of most of my seminars and talks I ask the participants if they agree that we are all different. Usually they agree unanimously that we are. And then I ask them why it is that, if we agree that everyone is different, we expect everyone to behave in the same way?

While we might not want to admit it, we all have a deep seated belief that people should understand life the way we understand it, come to the same conclusions we do about situations and generally behave the way we behave. We allow other people to be different, as long as they are like us!

Usually the differences we need to tolerate between people are not that serious and don’t disrupt the harmony of life. But when we become stressed or anxious or are under pressure, those small differences take on a new dimension and become major causes of conflict, anger and even decreased productivity. In the work situation where people are together for long hours under pressure, the ways in which we differ need to be understood and managed if sound working relationships are to be maintained.

While self-awareness is essential if we are to function at our best, it is just as important that we understand how others prefer to approach life. Just as we need to know what drives us, what colours our understanding of life, what energizes us or demotivates us, we also need to know that about other people, particularly those people with whom we work or with whom we have relationships. In particular, we need to know how their orientation toward life differs from our own.

If we understand the preferences of our colleagues, then their actions which previously might have seemed strange to us become the actions we would expect of them. Rather than being irrational behaviour, it is behaviour in keeping with the way they understand life, just as our own behaviour is in keeping with the way we understand life.

The advantage of knowing and understanding these differences is that we can then use the differences creatively. For example, I might prefer to come to conclusions and get things done quickly. My colleague might prefer to take time to ensure we have all the information before we decide on something and is not worried that we might miss the deadline. This could become a source of major irritation between us with me seeing my colleague as indecisive and my colleague seeing me as rushed and shallow. However, if we understand the potential in our differences, I could turn to my colleague to help me see the information I need which I might have glossed over in my haste to make a decision. And my colleague can turn to me to help him land the projects he has started within the required timeframe.

This is just one example of the many ways in which we differ, each of which can become a source of irritation or a source of better thinking and better activity. The key is to be aware of our own preferences, respect the fact that others might see life differently, understand what those differences are and manage those differences as catalysts for better performance.



HARNESING THE POWER OF DIFFERENCE - To learn more about this author, visit Jonathan Payne's Website.

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