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SHYNESS

Written by: Jonathan Payne

Article Overview: To overcome shyness you have to challenge that label right at the start and speak to people who can help you. And there are people who both can and want to help you – they would be happy for you to ask.

SHYNESS

Some years ago I wrote an article about shyness and how it can stand in the way of success.
Among the responses I received to that column were a few people asking where they could attend courses to help them overcome their shyness. I think it’s great when people have the courage to admit to themselves that they need help – and then go one step further and make plans to get that help. It’s one thing to recognize that you have a problem. But to take action to rectify the problem takes courage, especially for people who regard themselves as shy.
It is too easy to stay in the familiar “comfort zones” of life. Many people hold on to the comfort zone even though it has a quite a few uncomfortable patches! To look for help and take action means having to change – and change means moving beyond the comfort zone and learning to live life differently.
Yes, there are courses to help you overcome shyness. They might not be advertised as such, but their effect is to make you more confident.
To overcome shyness you need to do something which challenges that perception of yourself, and which helps you discover that your “shy” label is not really true, that you can choose to be different.
One way to do that is to take a course in public speaking. Shy people don’t speak in public – right? Wrong! I have known many public speakers, myself included, who used to regard themselves as shy. To stand up and speak in front of an audience challenges that shyness and helps you discover the confidence which comes from realizing that you are as competent as anyone else.
There are organisations, such as Toastmasters, which exist to help people develop their public speaking skills, overcome their nervousness and discover incredible self-confidence. The programmes are gentle and the person is introduced to public speaking in a number of easy yet effective steps. I have seen people who were so nervous that they were unable to construct a coherent sentence, blossom into eloquent speakers. But more importantly, I have watched their confidence grow as they have swopped their “shy” label for one which reads “Listen, I have something important to offer”.
I suppose the question is: “How badly do you want to swop your old, inhibiting label, for a new, enlivening one?”
If where you find yourself now is different from where you want to be, then you have to move. And to move means you have to take action. The person you want to be won’t come about if you do nothing, or keep doing what you are doing now. Someone once said that a definition of madness is to keep doing the same thing but expecting different results! If you don’t take a different course of action, you will remain as you are.
So, do you want to get rid of that “shy” label? To do so, you have to challenge that label right at the start and speak to people who can help you. And there are people who both can and want to help you – they would be happy for you to ask.
When would now be a good time for you to take that first step toward the new, confident you?

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Article Tags: audience, blossom, coherent sentence, comfort zone, courage, eloquent speakers, nervousness, patches, perception, public speakers, public speaking skills, self confidence, shyness, toastmasters



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