THE PLIGHT OF THE PERFECTIONIST
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THE PLIGHT OF THE PERFECTIONIST
I am a perfectionist. That sounds like the introduction one should give at a “Perfectionists Anonymous” meeting. At first I didn’t like the title – but I have discovered that the world is well populated with perfectionists, so now I feel more part of the crowd than a perfect pariah. The moral of that story being that it’s OK to have a problem, as long as you don’t have it alone.
When I was first told I was a perfectionist I didn’t believe it. I live in a world of disorderliness. There have been times when answering the telephone has been difficult because I couldn’t find it on my desk! I have a simple filing system – if it doesn’t fit in the first space, cram it into the second. I have since discovered that untidiness is a hallmark of perfectionism. The logic is that if we were to tidy things away it would have to be done absolutely perfectly – and of course would never be done to our satisfaction. So rather than create an imperfect system, create no system at all and live with the fantasy that the perfect system is possible and one day you will get around to creating it.
If follows, therefore, that procrastination is another trait common to perfectionists. Rather than complete a task and have to live with its inevitable imperfections, don’t do it at all. In that way the myth of perfection can stand without being reduced to its imperfect reality.
Somewhere on my desk right now is a time management planner (I hope I can find it). People who compile planners like this do not understand the plight of the perfectionist. The process, they claim, is simple. Decide on the goals you wish to achieve this week and write them into your diary. Also make time in your diary for various other important things such as family time, keeping contact with friends and business associates, time to relax and so on. It’s so simple in theory. But for the perfectionist it’s a minefield. What if the goals I choose aren’t the most important? Which goals should I be choosing, and are those goals the right goals? What if I schedule family time but the family decides to go out at that time? What if my business associates are inconvenienced by my call? The variables are huge. How can I plan my life so far in advance and know it will all go according to schedule? I know – let’s not plan. Let’s not choose the goals and not schedule the appointments and in that way we will not be seen to fail.
Perfectionism can be paralysing. Perhaps perfectionists could be helped if we adopted the motto of a well known sports brand and learnt to “just do it”. Instead of waiting for perfection, life would be a little easier if we just did it. Actually, I have discovered, that when I get especially daring and do make a decision or complete a task, it is immensely satisfying – even if not always perfect. So – fellow perfectionists – let’s just do it, and allow ourselves to experience the thrill of life, even if it’s not that perfect. And for those of you who are sublimely imperfect (ag shame!) thanks for bearing with us.
THE PLIGHT OF THE PERFECTIONIST - To learn more about this author, visit Jonathan Payne's Website.
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