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UNDERSTAND OTHERS BY UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF
Written by: Jonathan PayneArticle Overview: Our imperfections, preferences and prejudices do govern our behaviour whether we are aware of them or not. If we are not aware of them we remain under their control as we can do nothing to control them or counteract them
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UNDERSTAND OTHERS BY UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF
Marketing guru, Wendy Evans, author of the book “How to Get New Business in 90 Days and Keep it Forever,” says that the key to keeping clients is to understand yourself and them.
“Understand your staff, clients and prospects by understanding yourself in terms of your personality and your personal communications style,” she says. “When you understand yourself you will understand what is going on around you.”
Self understanding is fundamental to success. It requires an honesty which acknowledges our imperfections and an understanding that we have developed definite preferences and prejudices about life. Having imperfections, preferences and prejudices is all part of being human. But it is the failure to recognize the influence they have on our everyday decisions and actions which hinders our progress.
Like most other trainers and facilitators, I have often been asked by those that I am working with whether the senior management are also going to receive training to correct their faults. The inference is that the senior staff are oblivious to their own faults which are so obvious to everyone else.
The truth is that our imperfections, preferences and prejudices do govern our behaviour whether we are aware of them or not. If we are not aware of them we remain under their control as we can do nothing to control them or counteract them. Self aware people, who at least are able to name their imperfections if not overcome them, have more control over their lives as they understand the way they naturally prefer to respond. Before they respond or react they can decide if that is an appropriate response and, if need be, choose to modify their behaviour.
Evans mentions communication style as one of the areas of which we should be particularly aware. We cannot assume that everyone hears things the way we do. Our body language, tone of voice, rate of speech and level of enthusiasm, while natural for us might put someone else off. If we wish to communicate clearly we need to learn to moderate our speech to best match the communication style of the person who needs to hear our message. In sales that means that the salesperson needs to adapt to the needs of the customer.
Once we learn how to understand ourselves, we then have the tools to understand other people.
One of the best ways to retain clients is to make it easier for the client to like you. If they like you they will continue to want to do business with you.
By showing your client you understand them by moderating your behaviour and responses to fit their preferred style, you will develop the relationship and increase their liking of you.
But that can only be done if you have first taken time to understand yourself. You can only successfully adapt you behaviour if you first understand the behaviour which you are adapting.
One of the best ways to begin to understand your preferences is to complete a personality profiling questionnaire. There are many options available. These will help you to highlight your preferences, show you how these influence your decisions and actions, make you aware of the other options open to you and help you understand the preferences of your colleagues, staff and clients. They will help you to understand others by understanding yourself.
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Article Tags: appropriate response, body language, communication style, definite preferences, everyday decisions, faults, guru, honesty, imperfections, inference, new business, personal communications, personality, prejudices, prospects, senior management, spee, staff clients, tone of voice, wendy evans
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