Anger Management
Anger Management
1. Keep your attention on the motivation behind the provocation. Is the person who's enraging you doing it intentionally, or is it a by-product of words or behavior that he likely thinks perfectly appropriate? If it's the former, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he succeeded. If it's the latter, consider whether displaying annoyance would stop the behavior or simply let your opponent know that he's found a soft spot.
2. Breathe. This is great advice for just about any situation, but it's especially good for dealing with anger. You can react,, which implies knee-jerk emotional feedback made without any reflection, or you can respond, which implies feedback that follows a pause and analysis/reflection to determine the best way to address the provocation. It's far better to respond than to react. There's no reason why you can't fall silent for a few seconds (which may feel interminable to you and your opponent) while you work through your options.
3. Speak softly. Most of us tend to raise our voices when we speak in anger. Therefore, it's disarming to do the opposite and to speak more quietly. The effect is to appear reasonable and controlled (especially helpful if your opponent is ranting and raving and appearing to be out of control) and to force your opponent to listen carefully to hear what you have to say. In Japanese culture, when two parties are arguing, the one who raises her voice first loses. It's a difficult tactic for many of us to master, but if you can speak softly in the face of provocation, you will stand a much better chance of controlling your anger.
4. Vent. Express your anger in some forum that poses no risk of exposing it. Writing can be helpful, but especially if you write an angry response to an email, be sure that you don't accidentally send it!
5. Exercise. That's physical venting. When feasible, it's a great idea to get up and take a walk instead of marinating in a situation that makes you angry.
6. Selective release of anger. Sometimes, it's absolutely appropriate to express your anger at the person whose behavior has caused it. But consider the consequences of such an expression. Will you disrupt a relationship? Do you stand to lose ground? Will your expressed anger cause the person to react in a way that will cause you even more trouble? And when you do choose to display anger, consider doing so through your words only but continuing to speak in a low, even tone of voice. That will reinforce the gravity of your words.
And, despite our best efforts at these tactics, sometimes we all lose our tempers. Especially in time of frustration and stress, it's easy to let it slip. When that happens, don't be afraid to apologize and admit to being human.
Anger Management - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Fleming-Brown's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
We're often faced with statements, actions, arguments, behavior, etc. that is galling in the extreme. Whether it's road rage, an annoying co-worker, or a whiny teenager, it's an unfortunate but safe bet that you'll feel angry several times a week. So how can you handle it when faced with provocation that would make the Buddha quiver with rage?
1. Keep your attention on the motivation behind the provocation. Is the person who's enraging you doing it intentionally, or is it a by-product of words or behavior that he likely thinks perfectly appropriate? If it's the former, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he succeeded. If it's the latter, consider whether displaying annoyance would stop the behavior or simply let your opponent know that he's found a soft spot.
2. Breathe. This is great advice for just about any situation, but it's especially good for dealing with anger. You can react,, which implies knee-jerk emotional feedback made without any reflection, or you can respond, which implies feedback that follows a pause and analysis/reflection to determine the best way to address the provocation. It's far better to respond than to react. There's no reason why you can't fall silent for a few seconds (which may feel interminable to you and your opponent) while you work through your options.
3. Speak softly. Most of us tend to raise our voices when we speak in anger. Therefore, it's disarming to do the opposite and to speak more quietly. The effect is to appear reasonable and controlled (especially helpful if your opponent is ranting and raving and appearing to be out of control) and to force your opponent to listen carefully to hear what you have to say. In Japanese culture, when two parties are arguing, the one who raises her voice first loses. It's a difficult tactic for many of us to master, but if you can speak softly in the face of provocation, you will stand a much better chance of controlling your anger.
4. Vent. Express your anger in some forum that poses no risk of exposing it. Writing can be helpful, but especially if you write an angry response to an email, be sure that you don't accidentally send it!
5. Exercise. That's physical venting. When feasible, it's a great idea to get up and take a walk instead of marinating in a situation that makes you angry.
6. Selective release of anger. Sometimes, it's absolutely appropriate to express your anger at the person whose behavior has caused it. But consider the consequences of such an expression. Will you disrupt a relationship? Do you stand to lose ground? Will your expressed anger cause the person to react in a way that will cause you even more trouble? And when you do choose to display anger, consider doing so through your words only but continuing to speak in a low, even tone of voice. That will reinforce the gravity of your words.
And, despite our best efforts at these tactics, sometimes we all lose our tempers. Especially in time of frustration and stress, it's easy to let it slip. When that happens, don't be afraid to apologize and admit to being human.
Anger Management - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Fleming-Brown's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
| |||
 |
No article feedback found. | ||
|
Leave Your Feedback | ||
|
|||
 EQ Leadership Vital Sign The Power of Anger
| |||
| Blamed for violence, outbursts, and all manner of relationship troubles, anger has a bad reputation. But what if anger is actually a good, helpful ally that’s just badly misunderstood? |
|||
|
Anger – The Hardest Employee Performance Emotion For Managers To Deal With
| |||
|
Anger is the hardest employee performance emotion for managers to deal with. What do I mean by that? It is easy to get angry – the hard part comes with expressing our anger in a way that is productive. Unless we d... |
|||
|
Learn why you need to Manage your Anger!
| |||
| If being angry means that you get upset too quickly, your blood boils, your temper flares and you want to learn to control it then keep reading...
|
|||
|
The Third Deadly Workplace Sin: Anger
| |||
 Recently, I read an article from Careerbuilder.com about the Seven Deadly Workplace Sins. Last time, I gave you my take on Envy. Today, it’s all about Anger. |
|||
|
Anger Management Practice The gift of forgiveness
| |||
| This anger management Practice draws on the dual wisdom of Aikido and scientific research. "The gift of forgiveness" will help you explore how to change long term anger into a wider range of life affirming emotion... |
|||
| |||
Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
|||
Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
|||
Dr. John OdaJohn Oda Ph.D NLP is a business peak performance expert, an author, and speaker frequently called upon to provide corporate training, workshops and seminars for many companies in the United States. He is an expert in coaching sales and business professionals in overcoming the behaviors and obstacles that may impede their sales results and affect their bottom line. Since 1995, John has created a speaking bureau such topics, which include: time management, sales training, human diversity, leadership programs and etc. He provides companies with a strategic plan to increase their bottom line by over 25 percent yearly. - Visit Dr. John Oda's Website |
|||
Bernard ReberBack in late 1992, MS Access hit the streets. About that time the company I managed needed new software to handle their growing client base and I decided to try this new product. I had little difficulty writing and adapting a database to suit us and discovered a hidden talent for programming. A business was born. With business studies and 25 years of management experience in three different countries under my belt, I could offer a unique combination of skills and my customers agreed. From these humble beginnings my software 'invoiceit' emerged in 1999 and has since been taken to 49 states (hello Wyoming, won't you join us?), all across Canada and more than 70 other countries. From the very beginning the program included cashbook accounting, the simplest form of keeping financial business records. The Dictionary.com defines 'cashbook' as "A 'book' in which to record money received and paid out". For 'book' substitute 'simple software' and that's what I'm about. Now I have published Simple Accounting, an inexpensive spreadsheet solution which even you can master. For just $14.95 it costs less than a takeout meal! More at http://www.scrambled-card.com/simple_accounting_main.htm - Visit Bernard Reber's Website |
|||
|
To learn more about the Evan Elite Author Program please contact us. | |||
 | |
 Julie Fleming-Brown (Visit Julie's Website) Julie A. Fleming, J.D., A.C.C. provides business and executive coaching with an emphasis on business development, leadership development, time mastery and organization, and work/life integration. Julie holds a coaching certificate from the Georgetown Leadership Coaching program and holds the Associate Certified Coach (ACC) credential from the International Coach Federation. She is certified to administer the DISC(r) assessment, the Leadership Circle Profile 360, and the Leadership Culture Survey. To learn more, to subscribe to Julie's monthly email newsletter The DLR Report, or to request a complimentary consultation with Julie, please visit www.DynamicLeadershipResults.com/ or call her at 800.758.6214.
|  |
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
| Modeling the Masters: Learn the true secrets behind Walt Disney's business success factors & grow your company! Video produced by Phanta Media |
|
|
 |
| Have you written articles that would be of value to entrepreneurs? Become an expert on our site by publishing them! Expose yourself to a wide audience, drive more traffic to your website and get more sales! Click Here for details. |
 |
 | ||
|
||
 |
||
 |
||
|
| ||
|
|
|
Get advice & tips from famous business owners, new articles by entrepreneur experts, my latest website updates, & special sneak peaks at what's to come!
|
|
|
 |
 TeleSeminar Etiquette Pump Up Your Calendar Instant Flyers Instant Brochures Opposing a Franchisor’s Motion |
|
 | ||
 |
Top 50 Marketing Blogs
Top Blogs To Watch In 2008 | |
 |
Top 50 Marketing Blogs
Top Marketing Blogs of 2009 | |
| ||
 |
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
|
|
||||||||||||
