Too Busy

So many of us today are too busy. We talk about everything we have to do, decline social invitations and deny ourselves recreation because we just can’t find the time, and (contrary to all research) believe that multitasking is actually an effective work strategy. We complain and complain, but here’s a secret: many of us actually enjoy being “too busy.”

Busy is worn as a badge of honor, and (gender notwithstanding) being “too busy” is often a macho statement of one’s value. After all, if someone is talented and dedicated, why would she ever not be busy? And who wants to find out?

But what’s lost of be-ing when one is so very busy do-ing? What’s being ignored or unnoticed? And at the end of the day, or the end of the life, is the “busy” worth it?

One coaching client – let’s call him Tom – hired me to work on cutting back on some of the busy-ness in his life. Tom realized that even when he was at home with his wife, he wasn’t truly present. He was checking email, making lists, fielding calls, and reading up. His body was home, but he wasn’t. Although he was busy and successful, he wasn’t enjoying his life because he felt unconnected, and he felt more and more drained. After we’d been working together for a while, Tom even confided that he was afraid his marriage might be in trouble because he and his wife spent so little time together.

After some examination, Tom decided to set boundaries around his time. He elected to block out time to be present with his family, to sleep and exercise enough to renew his energy, and to enforce the boundaries he’s set. The result? Tom is more focused at work, he accomplishes more, and he gets to enjoy some time to be. He is re-engaged. His marriage is revitalized, and he’s no longer concerned that divorce is in his future. Make no mistake: Tom is still busy, but his busy is the result of conscious and purposeful choice. And most importantly, he no longer feels that he must be over-committed to be of value.

How about you? Is there some aspect of your life or your practice that’s busy because busy looks good? Would you prefer something different? Or do you feel trapped, unhappy with the schedule you have but unable to see any way to change it? Though it may not be easy to see, choice is always present. Spend some time in possibility and ask, if you could make one change in your time, what would it be?



Too Busy - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Fleming-Brown's Website.

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