Always isn’t every time

Guest post by: Howard Miller
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Jumping to Conclusions - By Howard Miller

How do you interpret it when someone says they always do something?

To demonstrate how easy it is to misinterpret communications I do an exercise in my management skills workshops.

I have everyone write down common words we all use, such as frequently, occasionally, never and always.

I then have them put a number next to each word, from 0 to 100. This number represents the percentage of what they feel the word means.

Naturally, there are a lot of numbers and ranges for words such as frequently and occasionally.

But when I first did this exercise I wrote down 100% for always and 0% for never.

My logic told me if someone says always it means all the time, therefore 100%. And if someone says never they mean not at all, which interprets to 0%.

I was initially surprised when people did not share my logic. Now I know people will not share my logic.

I have done this exercise several hundred times.

I NEVER had every single person pick 100% for always or 0% for never.

And I mean that literally!

People's interpretations of these words have to do with their experiences such as broken promises from others. So they don't take what people say at face value.

What this shows me is how easy it is to have miscommunications. If we interpret the so called easy words how do we manage the more complex?!

When and if I recall how easy it is to interpret everything said:

I tried to talk in specifics
I have the other person repeat back what was said even if it seems obvious
I ask the other person to clarify what they are saying more often if I don't understand or think it could lead to misinterpretation

Miscommunication leads to lack of understanding which leads to frustration. Taking the time to clear it up could take seconds and save hours!

Not always, but sometimes!

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Jumping to Conclusions - By Howard Miller

About the Author: Howard Miller

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Howard Miller teaches management skills to new managers, seasoned managers, entrepreneurs and executives. He is on the faculty of AMA (American Management Association) and teaches courses including Skills for New Managers, Increasing Managerial Effectiveness, and Successfully Managing People). Topics include delegation and motivation methodologies, conflict, how to deal with difficult people, understanding values and behavior, feedback and listening skills.

Clients include mid-range to large companies such as the IRS, Blue Cross Blue Shield, IBM, state government, public school districts, and non profit organizations. Howard also does executive and business coaching with the Ken Blanchard organization.

Howard is the author of two book; You're Full of Shift, which contains short stories which demonstrate shifting difficult situations to opportunities and The Manager Trap: 13 ½ Pitfalls to Avoid which showcases common traps and pitfalls managers fall into including using a 4 letter word beginning with F that they should avoid!

Click here to visit Howard's website.

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