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Its not fair!
| Guest post by: Howard Miller |
Article Overview: As a leader or manager do you aspire to be fair? If you do, stop!
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Free Download - Jumping to Conclusions By Howard Miller |
Its not fair!
My sister-in-law promised my eldest niece two desserts, one at the restaurant where we were having dinner and then an ice cream shop. Because dinner took so long my 7 year old niece was informed there would be no time to go get the ice cream.
But that isn't fair was her response!
After some whining, crying, drama (from her, not me!) with follow up coaching from me and her 5 year old sister, the issue was resolved. She got the ice cream.
But before the resolution, everything went awry because fairness was not perceived favorably by my niece.
Being fair (or fairness), being fair to others, is high on the list of people's values.
The Academy of Management lists fairness as one of their 54 work values. Whenever I facilitate groups of managers on a values exercise, fairness always (and I mean every time, so if I've done 100 facilitations doing this exercise, this has happened 100 times) is in the top 5 of the collected group's values.
I have coached upper managers and executives who aspire to be fair to everyone. I have seen white papers written where one of the goals is to be fair.
As a leader or manager do you aspire to be fair?
If you do, stop!
You are setting yourself up for stress, conflict, miscommunication and unproductive time.
Going for fair is a trap. This is because what's fair to you is different for someone else. Fair is a feeling based on our values, experience and past. It's not about being right or wrong yet if we feel something is not fair then we do feel we are being wronged and we're in the right.
Fair is subjective. Subjective measurements and suggestions can not lead to agreement unless everyone involved sees whatever is happening the exact same way. And the likeliness of this happening in a work environment is as high a probability as a 7 year old accepting she can't have her ice cream because the service in a restaurant was too slow!
As we start to recognize the trap of using the word fair:
- We can recognize how much or little we each use the word
- We will see how much the word is used by others
- We can start to focus on how to use objective measurements instead of the subjective fair
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Article Tags: absenteeism, acronyms, always, asking questions, behavior, behavior assessment, Change management, coaching, colloquialisms, communications, conflict, conflict resolution, dealing with difficult people, dealing with difficult situations, difficult personalities, DiSC, do as I say not as I do, effective questions, facebook, facts, fair, fairness, focus, gen x, gen y, generational differences, glass half empty, glass half full, how to deal with difficult people, humor, leadership, listening, management, management skills, management skills for new managers, miscommunication, motivation, never, new managers, objective vs subjective, opportunities, optimism, personality, powerful questions, questions, shift, sometimes, time management
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About the Author: Howard Miller RSS for Howard's articles - Visit Howard's website Howard Miller teaches management skills to new managers, seasoned managers, entrepreneurs and executives. He is on the faculty of AMA (American Management Association) and teaches courses including Skills for New Managers, Increasing Managerial Effectiveness, and Successfully Managing People). Topics include delegation and motivation methodologies, conflict, how to deal with difficult people, understanding values and behavior, feedback and listening skills. Clients include mid-range to large companies such as the IRS, Blue Cross Blue Shield, IBM, state government, public school districts, and non profit organizations. Howard also does executive and business coaching with the Ken Blanchard organization. Howard is the author of two book; You're Full of Shift, which contains short stories which demonstrate shifting difficult situations to opportunities and The Manager Trap: 13 ½ Pitfalls to Avoid which showcases common traps and pitfalls managers fall into including using a 4 letter word beginning with F that they should avoid! Click here to visit Howard's website   Managing techies Always isnt every time The loud woman at Starbucks I want them to want to be motivated to be on time Just the facts |
Related Forum Posts
Should I hire an editor or an agency?
- It's hard for me to say what a fair cost will be for your job, but if you say "full time position" and "looking for quality" you should expect to pay a fair dollar value and also be entitled to professional and polished content that you shouldn't have to re-edit, re-write or be otherwise concerned about.
Trade fairs relevant for established business
- A trade fair is not necessarily the medium for introducing our company and its affairs.
Trade fair participation is usually for companies who are already established in business and these companies find this opportunity to showcase their new innovations to existing range and fresh introductions in their product lines.
Also some new client relationships are established thru walk in meetings - for established companies its a part of their marketing budget expenditure and research and development cost so its not a waste of money and effort.
Re: Super Mario Dethroned
- But is it even fair to compare a video game franchise with a gaming console?
Re: Hi - Sales Training and Consultancy in the UK
- Hi
Thanks for the welcome. I live in west sussex but spend a fair amount of time in London.
Cheers
Peter
Participating in a trade fair worth
- As an entrepreneur I like to know if it’s worth to participate in a trade fair. The cost of stall and the benefits.
Is it easy to make up for the expenses by getting deals or contacts?
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