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Not listening can be catastrophic
| Guest post by: Howard Miller |
Article Overview: Do you feel your reports are not listening to you?!
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Free Download - Jumping to Conclusions By Howard Miller |
Not listening can be catastrophic
No matter what you say, how many times you say it, they don't do what you want?
Obviously, they aren't listening!
But is it easy to listen?
Remember the telephone game kid's play? This is where you whisper a phrase or sentence to another player. They then whisper to someone else what they thought they heard. By the time it gets to the last person the message is usually quite different from how it started.
Our communications with direct reports and peers can be like that as well.
One of the listening exercises I do with managers regarding communications is an adult version of the telephone game.
I pretend I'm an executive in a rush - I bump into a manager in the hall, relay some information to them. They need to rely it to someone else. By the end, most pertinent points are missing, names originally talked about were gone, made up people were mentioned and outcomes were completely changed! (What I do is have several volunteers leave the room so they don't know what's going on - they are each called in one by one)
The last time I did this exercise the first person to go after me added the word catastrophic. I didn't say this word - I said certain measures would have to happen if things didn't change. They said the results would be catastrophic if things didn't change.
Through the next reiterations of the exercise the message changed quite a bit. What didn't change was using the word catastrophic. Everyone used it! It remained in each message.
Well, apparently everyone heard the word catastrophic!
This makes sense, doesn't it? It's a big word, a dramatic word, its several syllables and fun to say.
But it also proves the point - we only listen to what interests us or what can capture our attention.
And what most people say doesn't interest us!
What's important to you to communicate may not be primary for others to hear. While it might be critical, they may not have the focus or urgency to do so at the time you're talking.
Listening takes work.
When we recognize listening is a skill and takes practice:
- We will allow more two way conversation as opposed to doing all the talking
- We will try different methods of communication where it might be easier for others to listen
- We can do our best to have important conversations in a time of day where one can focus on listening
Knowing that listening is a skill can help us with the importance of what we say and how we say it.
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Article Tags: absenteeism, acronyms, always, asking questions, behavior, behavior assessment, Change management, coaching, colloquialisms, communications, conflict, conflict resolution, dealing with difficult people, dealing with difficult situations, difficult personalities, DiSC, do as I say not as I do, effective questions, facebook, facts, fair, fairness, focus, gen x, gen y, generational differences, glass half empty, glass half full, how to deal with difficult people, humor, leadership, listening, management, management skills, management skills for new managers, miscommunication, motivation, never, new managers, objective vs subjective, opportunities, optimism, personality, powerful questions, questions, shift, sometimes, time management
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About the Author: Howard Miller RSS for Howard's articles - Visit Howard's website Howard Miller teaches management skills to new managers, seasoned managers, entrepreneurs and executives. He is on the faculty of AMA (American Management Association) and teaches courses including Skills for New Managers, Increasing Managerial Effectiveness, and Successfully Managing People). Topics include delegation and motivation methodologies, conflict, how to deal with difficult people, understanding values and behavior, feedback and listening skills. Clients include mid-range to large companies such as the IRS, Blue Cross Blue Shield, IBM, state government, public school districts, and non profit organizations. Howard also does executive and business coaching with the Ken Blanchard organization. Howard is the author of two book; You're Full of Shift, which contains short stories which demonstrate shifting difficult situations to opportunities and The Manager Trap: 13 ½ Pitfalls to Avoid which showcases common traps and pitfalls managers fall into including using a 4 letter word beginning with F that they should avoid! Click here to visit Howard's website   Having your cake and eating it too My Door is Always Open The $64000 Question The loud woman at Starbucks Not listening can be catastrophic |
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"Among the countless tragic lessons of 9/11, an overlooked but important discovery was the lack of preparedness among small and midsized businesses for responding to disaster. While most of the media attention was naturally devoted to...., the very existence of thousands of small businesses was determined by whether or not they had adequate insurance, sufficient technological support, and viable disaster contingency plans."
(People who live in hurricane prone areas need this as well...and who knows when a fire might not strike...)
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1. Preparation
2. Response
3. Recovery
4. SAmple IT Solutions
Basic safety practices
Okay, the TOC isn't [i:2fu76idt]too [/i:2fu76idt]helpful, but there's lots of valuable info in this book, as to ensure that [i:2fu76idt]your [/i:2fu76idt]losses won't be catastrophic. How people cope with suddenly seeing their homes and all their possessions gone, what kinds of insurance to get, etc. etc.
Re: I really feel great today because . . . . .
- Hi Aneshia
Well done and nailing it in one go makes it even better. Looking forward to listening to it and please remind us when it is aired will definitely promote it for you.
MichelleJ
Re: Private Equity Needed
- Thanks Evan,
I look forward to viewing your video and listening to your advice. Thank you for your time and if you need additional information, please let me know.
Kyle
New to the site!
- Im really excited to be part of this site! I look forward to reading your articles and listening to any advise that you may have.
Cheers!
Dallas Berry
Re: LEADERS
- Hi Yinka,
Great post for early 2011, I also think L is for listening as well as loyalty because I have come across a few so called leaders in my time who can only hear their own voices,
thanks,
Mal.
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