Howard Miller Subscribe to Howard's articles (Visit Howard's Website) Howard Miller is a consultant, facilitator, trainer and coach with over 15 years of experience in helping organizations, entrepreneurs, executives and managers utilize their internal behaviors and communication styles to maximize communication and productivity skills. This results in a clearer vision and mission, specific and measurable goals and actions, and more strategies to ensure success. Clients include mid-range to large companies, both corporate and non profit such as the IRS, Blue Cross Blue Shield, IBM, state government, public school districts, and non profit organizations. Howard also does executive and business coaching with the Tony Robbins and the Ken Blanchard organizations. Howard is a board member of the National Speakers Association Northern California Chapter and has been on the boards of ASTD (American Society of Trainers and Developers) and Golden Gate Business Association. Howard has a Bachelor of Science, Cum Laude, from the State University of New York at Albany, a Certificate in Training and Human Resource Development from University of California, Berkeley, and graduated from the Coaches Training Institute (CTI). Howard Miller is a Silver author on EvanCarmichael.com

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Planning vs. Worrying

I was going on a retreat in Southern California. I decided I wanted to camp outside instead of staying in the dormitory style rooms. Also, since I was flying down I wanted to minimize what to bring on the plane with me.

I was going to my brothers the day before the retreat. I thought he had a tent but wanted to confirm this with him. After asking him I also inquired if I could borrow a couple of pillows.

His response was yes but also

You seem to be worrying about this a lot.

Button pushed.

I got pretty defensive and said

I’m not worried I’m planning.

His response

That’s something mom would say but you would say she was worrying.

Another button pushed.

Conversation over.

I wasn’t worrying I was planning so I could be organized.

But I started wondering about the difference between planning and worrying?

Actually in those moments I wasn’t wondering what the difference was I was worrying about what the difference was!

Which made me realize worrying was about being stuck in a moment, in a cycle with no out.

Planning was proactive and freeing.

Sure, too much planning could be confining and compulsive.

But when I planning instead of worrying:

• I’m attune to the present
• I’m not coming from fear but instead, looking for results
• I have the choice to worry about something else

So now I’ll plan on how I won’t let my brother push my buttons.

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