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The Pity Party
Written by: Howard MillerArticle Overview: A story from STORIES OF SHIFT: How to Deal with Difficult Situations and Change Them to Positive Opportunities
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Free Download - Jumping to Conclusions By Howard Miller |
The Pity Party
The Pity Party
One of my clients is an executive who always is at odds with his board of directors. He feels they don’t do enough so, of course, as a result, they never live up to his expectations.
The reason he feels this way involves a history of actions between him and the board over the last several years. (never mind over 50% of the original board has changed throughout this time).
What my client realized though is he was only hurting himself with these thoughts. It placed him into his pity party.
He is making tremendous conscious efforts to stay out of his pity party and look at the board differently.
He has made great progress but like anything else, there are ups and downs.
I asked him how he was doing. He said:
I was in my pity party. But I didn’t go to the VIP lounge this time!
I loved the comment.
I know I have my pity parties. They can last only a moment or span over some days. And while there might be some rationales if you’re going to have the party make it splashy, if you have the party too much and have made it too comfortable - you’re stuck.
Then the VIP lounge is not splashy but an excuse to stay in your negativity.
Pity parties. Feeling sorry for ourselves.
It’s human.
But when I recognize I’m in the party too long:
• I think of something I could be appreciative or grateful for – and pretend to be until I actually am
• I do something – anything – even smile – which is different then what I was doing
• I get over being bored because staying in those feelings is boring.
Occasionally I go to parties where I do go to the VIP lounge. But those parties have room for more then one living creature.
Self-Pity or Self-Compassion
Your Gratitude Affects Attitude
It's Official - Your Sales Pity Party Is Now Over
Time Management
Increase Sales By Dropping the Excuses, Now!
Article Tags: board of directors, conscious efforts, excuse, feelings, last several years, odds, original board, pity parties, pity party, rationales, smile, span, ups, ups and downs, vip lounge
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About the Author: Howard Miller RSS for Howard's articles - Visit Howard's website  Howard Miller teaches management skills to new managers, seasoned managers, entrepreneurs and executives. He is on the faculty of AMA (American Management Association) and teaches courses including Skills for New Managers, Increasing Managerial Effectiveness, and Successfully Managing People). Topics include delegation and motivation methodologies, conflict, how to deal with difficult people, understanding values and behavior, feedback and listening skills. Clients include mid-range to large companies such as the IRS, Blue Cross Blue Shield, IBM, state government, public school districts, and non profit organizations. Howard also does executive and business coaching with the Ken Blanchard organization. Howard is the author of two book; You're Full of Shift, which contains short stories which demonstrate shifting difficult situations to opportunities and The Manager Trap: 13 ½ Pitfalls to Avoid which showcases common traps and pitfalls managers fall into including using a 4 letter word beginning with F that they should avoid! Click here to visit Howard's website   Youre an S Planning Vs Worrying Just the facts What have I learned in 6 months of management Part 3 Its not fair |
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