The Pity Party
The Pity Party
One of my clients is an executive who always is at odds with his board of directors. He feels they don’t do enough so, of course, as a result, they never live up to his expectations.
The reason he feels this way involves a history of actions between him and the board over the last several years. (never mind over 50% of the original board has changed throughout this time).
What my client realized though is he was only hurting himself with these thoughts. It placed him into his pity party.
He is making tremendous conscious efforts to stay out of his pity party and look at the board differently.
He has made great progress but like anything else, there are ups and downs.
I asked him how he was doing. He said:
I was in my pity party. But I didn’t go to the VIP lounge this time!
I loved the comment.
I know I have my pity parties. They can last only a moment or span over some days. And while there might be some rationales if you’re going to have the party make it splashy, if you have the party too much and have made it too comfortable - you’re stuck.
Then the VIP lounge is not splashy but an excuse to stay in your negativity.
Pity parties. Feeling sorry for ourselves.
It’s human.
But when I recognize I’m in the party too long:
• I think of something I could be appreciative or grateful for – and pretend to be until I actually am
• I do something – anything – even smile – which is different then what I was doing
• I get over being bored because staying in those feelings is boring.
Occasionally I go to parties where I do go to the VIP lounge. But those parties have room for more then one living creature.
The Pity Party - To learn more about this author, visit Howard Miller's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
The Pity Party
One of my clients is an executive who always is at odds with his board of directors. He feels they don’t do enough so, of course, as a result, they never live up to his expectations.
The reason he feels this way involves a history of actions between him and the board over the last several years. (never mind over 50% of the original board has changed throughout this time).
What my client realized though is he was only hurting himself with these thoughts. It placed him into his pity party.
He is making tremendous conscious efforts to stay out of his pity party and look at the board differently.
He has made great progress but like anything else, there are ups and downs.
I asked him how he was doing. He said:
I was in my pity party. But I didn’t go to the VIP lounge this time!
I loved the comment.
I know I have my pity parties. They can last only a moment or span over some days. And while there might be some rationales if you’re going to have the party make it splashy, if you have the party too much and have made it too comfortable - you’re stuck.
Then the VIP lounge is not splashy but an excuse to stay in your negativity.
Pity parties. Feeling sorry for ourselves.
It’s human.
But when I recognize I’m in the party too long:
• I think of something I could be appreciative or grateful for – and pretend to be until I actually am
• I do something – anything – even smile – which is different then what I was doing
• I get over being bored because staying in those feelings is boring.
Occasionally I go to parties where I do go to the VIP lounge. But those parties have room for more then one living creature.
The Pity Party - To learn more about this author, visit Howard Miller's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
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To learn more about the Evan Elite Author Program please contact us. | |||
 | |
 Howard Miller (Visit Howard's Website) Howard Miller is a consultant, facilitator, trainer and coach with over 15 years of experience in helping organizations, entrepreneurs, executives and managers utilize their internal behaviors and communication styles to maximize communication and productivity skills. This results in a clearer vision and mission, specific and measurable goals and actions, and more strategies to ensure success. Clients include mid-range to large companies, both corporate and non profit such as the IRS, Blue Cross Blue Shield, IBM, state government, public school districts, and non profit organizations. Howard also does executive and business coaching with the Tony Robbins and the Ken Blanchard organizations. Howard is a board member of the National Speakers Association Northern California Chapter and has been on the boards of ASTD (American Society of Trainers and Developers) and Golden Gate Business Association. Howard has a Bachelor of Science, Cum Laude, from the State University of New York at Albany, a Certificate in Training and Human Resource Development from University of California, Berkeley, and graduated from the Coaches Training Institute (CTI).
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